Gentle reader: What a conundrum this future America is for one such as I, whose familiar territory is the late 18th Century. I walked down the hill from Monticello today and happened upon a road filled with horseless carriages traveling at enormous speed. I wondered why their drivers were in such haste and what they would make of me and my clothing, but of course I am but a shade here, invisible to future eyes. Having stretched my legs sufficiently, I returned to my beloved Monticello to partake of supper, a pie of pork accompanied by carrots dumplings and a vegetable, previously unknown to me, named "broccoli". After that, I watched some more of the fascinating device called a "TV". There appeared an entertainment with a master of ceremonies called "Jay Leno"-- upon my word that is a strange name. After some humorous banter this "Leno" introduced a man as "President of the United States." I assumed this was some form of satire, as this "President" appeared to think that several Atlantic ports were in the Gulf of Mexico, wherever that is. I quickly grew tired of this vain, conceited "president" who relished the sound of his own voice and I forthwith retired to my bed chamber, snuffed out my candle and, mercifully, fell quickly asleep.
