Case Notes: Patient 540463, Obama, Barack, H.

9/7/13: After patient's return to D.C.,Valerie Jarrett asked me to consult with patient  in his private quarters, as he  has been referring to himself as Director General of the United Nations. I reassured her that it was just another manifestation  of his Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Besides, there is no such job. There is a  U.N. Secretary General.  I may have to  think seriously about a change in medication  if these delusions persist. I suggested to Patient that he considers having  a throne installed in his private study similar to the monstrosity that he keeps hidden on Air Force One.
I mentioned this idea to Valerie Jarrett who was enthusiastic and said there were unused gifts in the White House basement and among them was a throne from the Saudi King made of elephant tusks, gold, and giant  semi-precious stones with a peacock feather fan as an accessory. She instructed two aides to wrap it in a protective blanket, and carry it up to Patient's private study, where it could be put to therapeutic use. Patient moved his specially-engraved iPresidentiphone  phone within reach. "Dr Rink," he smiled:   "I now feel secure enough even for Pootin to call. As if by magic, the phone immediately played the Moscow Male Voice Choir singing Keep the Red Flag Flying. 

Patient put the phone on speaker: "Hey, Obamavitch, now you are home, I hope you have not forgotten the private lesson I gave you in St Petersburg. [Patient  covered the microphone and said: "How I hate that name, Obamavitch!"] and immediately began to tremble.  I took his arm and whispered: "Remember, you are safe here." Patient puffed up his chest and  said: "Bastard! and immediately disconnected the call.  "Bastard!" he repeated, "Bastard!...Bastard! And then he  paused. " Bastard!  he concluded. "That showed him who's boss"  I nodded agreement , aware that at this stage the moron needs all the positive encouragement he can get, just to organize his delusions in order of importance. ---Dictated by Dr. S.H. Rink.