"But Val," I protested,"it would have reopened government through December and lifted the debt ceiling for six weeks."
"Barry" she said. "Grow a pair. You can't possibly cave in so easily. You know what Rahm always says: 'Never let a crisis go to waste.' and if you even hint at a default on US debt there'll be a glorious crisis."
I looked at the second item on her list: "Eat bowl of Froot Loops with 2% milk and await call from Putin."
I took a sip at the coffee growing cold on my desk as I awaited the inevitable call from Vlad. After a couple minutes the harmonies of the Moscow Steel Foundry Workers' choir erupted from my iPresidentophone. "Obamavitch, congratulations! Did I detect my hallmark in your handling of Boehner? You are learning fast, Obamavitch. Now is the time for the next phase: cause chaos in Republican ranks by rejecting their offer."
"That's my first order of the day, Vlad," I said.
"Excellent, Obamavitch, you are a quick study." Hmmm I thought. It's remarkable how Valerie Jarrett always seems to be a step ahead of Vlad. But enough about me.