Dear Diary: My speciallyengraved iPresidentophone-S has been busy all day, blaring the anthems of various European countries which I use as personal ringtones for their leaders. They are all indignant that NSA has been listening in to their mobile phones. So what? When did the President of Belgium ever say anything worth hearing? Silvio Berlusconi on the other hand was a hoot to overhear, as he trawled the clubs trying to entice ladies of the night to his bung-bunga parties. Joe, me and Axelrod had some good laughs listening to that, I can tell you, but Valerie won't let me. I'm still having a bumpy ride over the ObamaCare website. But I did score a minor victory over those insufferably macho, bloodthirsty Marines today, forcing them to change over to what they regard as 'girly' hats. Personally, I regard Marines as useful only for holding an umbrella over me when I have to make a speech in the rain. They are not much good for anything else. Except maybe as a backdrop when I want to be seen as the brilliant, decisive Commander-in-Chief that I am. But enough about me.