Dear Diary: Golf glorious golf, there's nothin' quite like it! I hit the links at Fort Belvoir Sunday after a break all through the shutdown when Comrade Jarrett forbade me to play because of 'bad optics.' So I gave day the full treatment: Motorcade to Fort Belvoir, Secret Service detail to discreetly kick the ball out of the rough, fawnin' staffers to play with and my routine stop at the fourth hole to pull out the iPresidentophone and call the Pentagon to authorize a drone strike on the next target on our hit list. This always puts my golf buddies off their game as they try simultaneously to watch the sky and play their next shot. It's not playin' fair, I guess, but when the goal is to win, win one must. I have to address the nation Monday about the bumpy rollout of ObamaCare. Of course it was the fault of a Canadian software company, George Bush, Kathleen Sibelius and everyone in Congress who passed the law to see what was in it. Me? I just signed the daggone thing into law and I'm now heroically cleanin' up after others. And --purely out of modestly -- I'm quietly lobbyin' key people to rename it SibeiusCare. But enough about me.
