Patient presented today with a new attitude which may be just a fresh symptom of his Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or something I have yet to diagnose, since patient's psychoses are intertwined like a bucket of writhing worms. He has now taken to tilting back his desk chair, drumming his fingertips together and saying "Excellent" like Mr Burns in The Simpsons. He does this each time he hears of another public inconvenience caused by the government shutdown. "Free champagne for everyone!" patient declared triumphantly when he heard that military cemeteries had been closed to visitors in Normandy. I cautioned him against consuming alcohol on top of what I suspected was a considerable intake of weed. "Doctor,' he replied, holding up his right index finger and swaying slightly, "I am not as drunk as some thinkle may peep I am." --Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.