10/15/13

Progress Notes: Patient 540463 Obama, Barack H.


Patient has taken a startling turn for the worse. He presented with eyes rolling wildly and said:  "Doctor, you must help me, for I, Barack Obama, have begun speaking in tongues."  He flung himself headlong on to a sofa in his private quarters,  immediately began babbling nonsense: "Forqillinsa nazdarovya bludthirsty veterans ka-ka barrycades" he declared. "Eye wunn but nobody will obey my orders forquillinsa ka-ka Karl Marx," he said with great earnestness. I filled a glass with Pellegrino water  from his bar fridge and fed him a tablet of hydroxyzine, a very mild and non-addictive  anxiolytic.  "Glylphyronachizip  varterdziz," he said quietly. "I nodded and said: "Don't worry, the tablet will calm you shortly. "Have an early night and  you will feel better in the morning."   "Bitter butter in the morgenson," Bird Brain replied. ---Dictated by S.H. Rink. M.D.