Progress Notes: Patient 540463 Obama Barack, H.

Valerie Jarrett called me in early Monday for an "emergency" consultation, Patient had gone missing and, after a panicked search, he  had eventually  been found hiding in the  Oval Office closet, curled up in a fetal position, shaking and gibbering at even the thought of having to go out into the Rose Garden and attempt to defend the  ACA website to the nation.  "Doctor" he cried, "Thank God! I have been plotting to have Kathleen Sibelius brought in  and beheaded with an ax by a White House gardener.   But Valerie Jarrett won't  like the optics. I am undone! Even Chris Matthews has been giving me strange looks for the past couple days."
"That could be something entirely unconnected to ObamaCare," I ventured. "They don't call him Pringles  for nothing."
"Doctor, dear doctor, can I please have something to stop me shaking and stuttering?    I felt almost sorry seeing Patient spurned by the greatest love of his life-- himself.  I slipped him a couple of tablets of a mild tranquilizer and told him: "Wait 15 minutes or so and then you  will  be  much calmer and in a better state  to face the nation."  Geez, what a moron.  --Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.