Progress notes for Patient 540463: Obama, Barack H.

Patient has settled happily into a regimen of occasional  work, photo-ops and frequent golf, in other words, his normal DC routine. But he is still troubled by the disapproval of his spouse for what she says was "humiliating her" in front of the world by openly flirting with the Danish Prime Minister.
When I met patient today, he flung himself down on a couch and whined: "Oh, Doc, I'm hearing that there are those in Congress who want to impeach me for abusing my executive powers. Michelle is my rock when it seems the world is against me. Now I have to face it alone. What shall I do? "
"Apologize to your rock, buy her a nice piece of jewelry and don't flirt with Prime Ministers," I told the moron curtly, and left. I gave Valerie Jarrett the address of Tiffany's in Waikiki, explaining what was needed, and added a prescription for a mild sedative for patient to help him overcome the subsequent sticker shock. -- Dictated by S.H.Rink, M.D.