Dear Diary: I have had to deal with an emergency today. After my discovery that Froot Loops all taste the same, I resolved immediately to find a non-Kellogs cereal worthy of daily consumption by the man with world's finest brain. I instructed my chef and my golf buddy, Sam Kass, to come up with a cereal that would satisfy my demanding, sophisticated palate. He quickly found a worthy candidate: Count Chocula, a chocolate-flavored cereal made by General Mills. Bwaaahahahahaaa! Just the thing to fortify my resolve before Vladimir Putin calls at breakfast time, which he invariably does. But enough about me.
