"Like what, Obamavich?"
"Well, we...we... we will stop buying ... Russian caviar."
"Boo hoo," Obamavich. "That will only allow our sturgeon population to have time recover and restore itself. That all you got, big boy?"
I heard a woman's voice in the background. "Vladimir...wherefore art thou, Vladimir? Likely it was Dame Downton Maggie, his actress girlfriend from the Royal Shakespeare Company. "Goodnight Obamavich," said Putin. "I have more important things to attend to." There followed a satisfied female sigh. Enraged, I disconnected.