Barack Obama's Diary: Congratulations to me

Dear Diary: I bestride the Earth like a Colossus, one moment I am in Afghanistan receiving homage from my mighty Army and the next I am at the White House  declaring Peace in Our Time, carefully contrived to coincide with  the final curtain descending on my triumphant presidency. By then most of the inconvenient stragglers who are clogging up the waiting lists of the VA will have dropped off the twig. I will be able to take my place among the immortals, Lincoln, Washington,  Jefferson.  I can see it now,  a new US capital city of Obama, D.C.  the Obama Memorial standing twice as high as Washington's modest obelisk.  I could hug myself with delight! In fact I will do that right now. But enough about me.