Barack Obama's Diary: Michelle snaps into action

Dear Diary: As I was dozing  in bed with Michelle this morning I said:  "Mich...are you thinking of what I'm thinking of?
"You mean  about those poor kidnapped girls in Nigeria? 
"Yes...It's the first thing I think about every morning, after I've thought about Me."
"Barry, I've had an idea. Why don't we take decisive action  with a picture of me on social media with a card reading: " #Bring Back our girls!"
"That's brilliant, Mich. That'll hit Boko's Harem in the gonads and  make us look like were making a decisive response without having to put boots on the ground."
" OK, Barry, I'll call Pete Souza and set it up."
And so it came to pass. Boko's Harem would have seen Michelle's picture on their wind-powered jungle-resistant laptops, immediately after it was posted and begun to seek ways to return the girls unharmed. But enough about me.