Barack Obama's Diary: Pants on fire

Dear Diary: I had an agreeable day today, with a round of golf at  joint base Andrews. As I was lying in bed at bedtime [I lie anytime it suits me. ]  I said to Michelle:" What are you thinking about?"
She replied:"Why, those poor girls in Nigeria, of course."
"Me, too," I lied. "Maybe we should send selfies  tomorrow asking  Boko's Harem to release them unharmed urgently"
"Barry.. I'm not sure they have laptops in the jungle."
"There's an easy solution, Mich," I replied. "We'll drop some fully charged iPads into the area. Am I a  genius or am I a genius?"  I turned over and pulled badgie, my comfort blanket, from his nest beneath my pillow. Soon I was dreaming of flying low over Nigeria in Taxpayer One, bombing the jungle with iPads.