Vlad Putin's Journal: Obamahaha at Omaha

Tovariches:  I cornered Obamavich at the 70th anniversary of D-Day today. I went into attack mode immediately but he was too busy chewing gum and trying to look nonchalant to have prepared countermeasures.  I shook hands the old KGB way, pressing my right thumb joint into the main bone of his right thumb.  His face became grey with pain as he struggled to work his thumb free. "Bow before me,  Ilych Obamavich," I hissed, "or I will kill you, then  pickle you, and display you  in the Red Square mausoleum that once held the corpse of Lenin." The wuss then made a reluctant, ambivalent little bow to me. Mother Russia  had won again! Lack of space  in this journal, as well as decent cossack modesty preclude me from gloating any longer over the shame of my enemy. Meanwhile, comrades, I'll see you again soon.  До свидания!