Dear Diary: I am elated about my speech addressing the nation about the decisive measures I plan to take against the ISIL. I was as fierce as a lion. Who could hear me and not have fled in fear of my wrath? I asked Biden, "ISIL," he replied. "They haven't fled." Very funny, Joe." . I have been nervous lately about the tropical storm and volcanic lava threatening Hawaii's big island. I have a fine plantation there of Blueberry Yum-yum --that marvellous mature merlot of marijuanas-- that is just reaching perfect ripeness. It's time to harvest it and have it loaded it aboard Air Force One and then have a few bags stashed in the secret compartment of the Resolute Desk where Teddy Roosevelt kept his Big Stick and Bill Clinton his notorious cigars. But enough about me.