Dear Diary: A doctor who rode the subway and spent several hours at a busy Brooklyn bowling alley has been diagnosed with Ebola. Only one case in a city of 8 million people... that is no cause for concern. I have already reassured the American people that you can't catch Ebola on a bus. They will intuit that the same applies to the L train. Of course Vlad Putin has been rubbing salt in my wounds. He called late today and said: "Obamavitch, I have ordered for you Dictatorship for Dummies, from Amazon, which I have personally found very helpful. Tell your Democrat lackey De Blasio that, if Manhattanites show any tendency to storm Gracie Mansion, a few bursts of automatic fire should nip open rebellion in the bud. Always works for me."