Barack Obama's Diary: Life's a slam dunk, folks

Dear Diary:  My, what a fuss about nothing. I mentioned casually to someone that I usually spend my mornings watching ESPN and all hell breaks loose. People want know why I'm not attending those hideously tedious presidential briefings. Duh...who cares what ISIS is up to, or Vlad Putin. Just hold all my calls, shut the hell up, give me an NBA rerun,   big-screen TV from my brothers in Ferguson, a soda and a packet of       Cheetos