11/30/11

[ Eric Allie: via Townhall.com]

Pippa Middleton signs $622,000 book deal

As if she weren't magnetic  enough,  Pippa  Middleton (she of the curvaceous rear) has now signed a $622,000 deal for a  party-planning book.  Details (and a slideshow  for Pippafreaks)  here.

Gingrich 45%, Obama 43%, in national poll

Newt Gingrich has moved to the top of the polls in Iowa, has  made big gains in New Hampshire and now has a two-point edge over President Obama in a hypothetical general election match-up.
A new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey of Likely Voters finds Gingrich with  45% of the vote while President Obama is supported  by 43%. Six percent (6%) prefer some other candidate, and six percent (6%) are undecided. Details here.

President Grinch steals a Christmas highlight

Obama had the best advice available in NYC and he  is choosing to ignore it.
Chris Wysocki has a song to cheer those who wanted to see the Christmas tree  lit up at Rockefeller Plaza, but who didn't plan on being caught in  Bam-induced gridlock.

Affair to remember

[via TownHall.com]

11/29/11

The global triple threat builds

The prospect of   a new  Middle East war involving Israel and Iran, coinciding with  a collapse of the Euro provoking global economic chaos, has not receded. On the contrary, it seems to be escalating: the Euro crisis is far from  being solved, the  Iranians --  rattled  by sabotage of both  a nuclear and a  missile installation -- are clearly trying to distract attention by  storming the British Embassy in Tehran -- an act verging on war.
 Israel  is  openly  repositioning   its Jericho long-range missiles [ no doubt to reduce vulnerability to thousands of Hezbollah rockets.]  
Meanwhile the  British have  been moving a missile-equipped  nuclear submarine to the Gulf and the US has  deployed a carrier to the same area.  And Obama? Probably leading from under the Resolute desk  in the Oval office. Has there ever been a worse time to have an irresolute commander-in- chief?

President Oblunder

President Obama seems determined to alienate the USA's closest ally.  Now he has stumbled over the difference between England, Britain and the UK. There is no such thing as an "English" embassy anywhere in the world.  They are British  embassies.  Imagine the MSM ridicule  if this had been Herman Cain or  Rick Perry. 

The Great Global Warming Fizzle

 The Great Cult of Global Warming, it  would seem, is ending,  not with  a  blast of  searing heat, but with a fizzle.
[Thanks: BJS]

Why we resent the 99%

This is the outrageously offensive  behavior inflicted on shopping families  by the scrofulous hordes of OWS. Where are those  pepper-spraying cops when you really need them?
[h/t Michelle Malkin]

Gone, with his Wind

Rep. Barney Frank has announced his retirement and will soon be  Gone with His Wind:  Frank, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Cartoonist of the Day: Lisa Benson

[via Townhall.com]

12 questions that need honest answers

Just a Conservative Girl  has 12  excellent questions for liberals  to which she would like thoughtful answers.  Good luck with that, Girl.  Read them here.
[via Wyblog]

Begging the Question

[via Townhall.com]

Obama, what the hell are we paying you for? Christie asks

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has torn into President Obama for the failure of the debt supercommittee calling the president "a bystander in the Oval Office"
 “I was angry this weekend, listening to the spin coming out of the administration, about the failure of the supercommittee, and that the president knew it was doomed for failure, so he didn’t get involved. Well then what the hell are we paying you for?” Christie asked.

11/28/11

Obama approves slaughtering horses for human food

Fire up the grill...
Never let it be said that  President Barack ╬čbama doesn't care about the soaring price of meat. He has now signed legislation allowing the slaughter of horses and consumption of horse meat by humans. More here.

Sergeant Pepper's Baaaack


Irony of the Day

A "gay" softball group has reached a  settlement with   several players after being accused of discriminating against them for being heterosexual.  More here.

Hopes for Euro rescue, but the price may be freedom

Europe appears to be moving towards a solution to the Euro crisis. But it would involve a huge loss of control by individual countries over their  budgets and dominance by  Germany. Good news for bureaucrats. Bad news for libertarians. More here.

Huge blast shakes Iranian city

Don't mess with the Mossad ( part2 ):  A huge blast has shaken Isfahan, Iran, but all reference to it has been deleted from the website of Iran's official newsagency.  Read more.

Obama ' to snub white working class'

Jammie Wearing Fools has a revealing post about the Obama campaign's change of  direction for the 2012 general election.
"Obama 2008: Hope, Change and Bringing people together.
Obama 2012:  Screw those stupid white people."
More here.

Cartoonist of the Day: Michael Ramirez

[via Townhall]

Does Barack Obama even WANT a second term?

 Does  Barack Obama even want a second term? A good question asked by The Washington Times. Their conclusion? No,  he doesn't  really want one and Americans seem  ready to oblige. Read it all.
[Thanks: BJS]

Mr President: Step up now ...or step down

The clamor from right and left is  growing louder and louder:  It's time for President Obama  to lead or make way for someone who will.  The Augusta Chronicle makes the case strongly and clearly. Read it all.
[Thanks: BJS]

11/27/11

Dear Cabbie: Our Mobile Advice Columnist

Dear Cabbie:  I'm going to New York  for a fundraiser, but people are complaining that  my arrival clashes  with the tree-lighting at Rockefeller Center  and a Justin Bieber concert. They  say my motorcade will snarl up the city. What should I do?   --BHO, Washington D.C.


Dear BHO: A  motorcade?  Fuggedaboutit.  You have already spent all  our money, plus $15 trillion.  Live  within your means and take a goddam cab. You gotta problem with that? --Cabbie

Want to see the back of Obama?

Back to the Future
Many of our visitors have said  that they are longing to see the back of President Obama next year, so we decided  to give you  just a glimpse of his back now, to help keep your spirits high during the long days ahead.

Embassies brace for Euro currency collapse

Euro: Break-up 'inevitable' 
Britain has instructed its embassies in Europe to prepare contingency plans for thousands of Britons who would be stranded  in Europe amid financial  chaos and possible rioting if the Euro currency collapses,  which many think is inevitable. Britain  belongs to the  European Community, but  its currency is  independent of the Euro.  Read more

11/26/11

Sergeant Pepper strikes again

[via About.com]

How to multiply small business

"Barack,  just raise tax on big business and wait."

How do you like it? More, more, more!

"44 trillion?  Meh."
"Try to imagine every aspect of government having to make do with half of what it currently has. That’s the scale of reform necessary to save America from a future as a bankrupt, violent, Third World ruin."  Mark Steyn explains the grim path Obama has set us on and the irrelevance of feeble measures to save us from overwhelming debt.  Read it all.

Mount Spraymore

[via About.com]

[via OC Register]

11/25/11

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

"Spray this, baaitch"
Today's Academy of Dung Beetles Award is being rolled towards the woman who assaulted fellow bargain hunters at Walmart with pepper spray to gain advantage over them.

Tabasco on Roses and Pepper on Kittens

[via About.com]

You want fries with him?

CNN reports from Karachi that a  woman is being held on suspicion of killing her husband, cutting him up and trying to cook the pieces. The Laughing Conservative has been unable to  confirm a rumor that police are questioning a woman named Gloria Cain.
[via Townhall]

11/23/11

Corzine cures the deficit

 " Barack, have I got some cash for you !"

Russian TV pays homage to Obama

Russia is clearly   as deeply  impressed  as we are by Barack Obama -- even pausing a newscast to  honor him  with   an ancient Russian salute,  known as  "flippink da bird."

Cartoonist of the Day: Bob Gorrell

[via Townhall]

Turkey day

O is for Egotist

 "Mr. Obama's career has been one in which the main effect has been the impression he leaves on audiences—the main effect has been himself. Familiarity with his country—or any other country—would be helpful at this point, if only to counterweight his mesmerization with the arc of his personal story." A Wall Street Journal column exposes the  President's fundamental flaws.  Read it all.
[Thanks BJS]

11/22/11

Bam floats his new housing plan

 " Underwater? Take a deep breath and 
hold it for the next five years."

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...


"Congratulations, bloodsuckers"
Today's Academy of Dung Beetles Award goes to the SEIU  for  extracting union dues from home caregivers. There's a video exposing this outrage below. Warning:  if you take  blood pressure medication, make sure you are  in compliance with your   prescribed dosage  before viewing.

Good news from Down Under

Abbott:  Future PM?
We may be dismayed by the Republican line- up here.  But Australia may be seeing light at the end of the socialist tunnel. We've had an optimistic update from our correspondent in Australia, currently writhing under the heel of socialist Prime Minister "Jackboot Julia" Gillard.  
He says: "Obama was  here earlier this week  telling everyone we're his best friends, as he says to everyone wherever he goes. What was truly nauseating was to see (Gillard's) Labor Party brown-nosing him.  I heard Opposition Leader, Tony Abbott, speak  at the Sydney Institute last night. He is staunch conservative and is going to make a great Prime Minister. The Left loathe and fear him, which will make it all the sweeter."

Cartoonist of the Day: Lisa Benson

[via Townhall]

11/21/11

Kindle Fire: what it's like to use.

Mine arrived, well packed and exactly when promised. If you are not used to a tablet it takes a while to adapt to the light pressure needed on the screen. Image quality is excellent and screen size is fine for movies and not the problem I expected it might be.  For a very competent and extensive review, go here. 

Trump combed over

Trump may rejoin the race?
Mwaaa-ha-ha-ha!

Cartoonist of the Day: Ken Catalino


[via Townhall]

Hillary's moment in history

"If President Obama is not willing to seize the moral high ground and step aside, then the two Democratic leaders in Congress, Sen. Harry Reid and Rep. Nancy Pelosi, must urge the president not to seek re-election—for the good of the party and most of all for the good of the country. And they must present the only clear alternative—Hillary Clinton."  This  is the core of a seminal piece in The Wall Street Journal,  that may signal historic change in this  country.  Read it all. 
We speculated here some months back that Hillary's  strategy might be to do nothing until desperate Democrats  beg her to run and give her the covering fire she needs. That  moment may be at hand.  [Thanks BJS]

11/20/11

World's lightest material outweighs brains of Obama Cabinet

Caltech researchers have created the world's lightest material --  100 times lighter than styrofoam -- lighter even than the combined brain weight of  Obama's cabinet.  Yeah, I know that's hard to believe.

Cartoonist of the day: Glenn McCoy

[via Townhall]

Words you'll never hear...

"Would you like pepper with that?" -- U.C. Davis cafeteria  server

"We agree" -- The Deficit Reduction  Super Committee


"Crack some skulls  and  throw those losers out of the city"  -- Mayor Bloomberg

No Cain linx with Bronx sex fiend

NYPD  investigators are seeking a sex fiend who has assaulted 6 women in  the Bronx in one day.  Despite cursory inquiries on Google, Laughing Conservative has been unable to expose any link with Herman Cain, nor whether Gloria Allred is planning a press conference for all the victims.

Protester outrage over pepper on soyburgers

Students at UC Davis,  gathered in a cafeteria  to peacefully protest corporate greed,  accused the university chancellor of attempted genocide when they saw a cafeteria cook grinding  pepper to their soyburgers."They were sitting there peacefully," said a spokes committee, "when this cook picked up a large pepper grinder  and walked up and down a whole row of burger patties, cold-bloodedly grinding pepper directly on to their surface. " This is  pure, unprovoked brutality,"  the spokes committee said. "We held a general meeting and everyone  uptwinkled that we should eat hot dogs instead. No-one is going to push us around." 

The Occupiers who have 1% tents

 More evidence that some Occupiers are more equal than others

11/19/11

'We are the 99%...

...and this is what we believe in'

Adultikids feel the sting of reality

Indignant OWSers posted videos like this one on YouTube of police pepper-spraying protesters at UC Davis who were directly disobeying police orders to move on. Far from being outraged, I find it quite satisfying to see these adultikids playing "rebellion," and feeling the sharp sting of reality. In Syria it would be bullets.

Cartoonist of the Day: Bob Gorrell

[via Townhall]

Deer is new top GOP hopeful


CONCORD, NH (The Borowitz Report) – The race for the Republican presidential nomination took an unexpected turn today as a new poll showed that a startled deer was the new GOP frontrunner..."
We make  merciless fun of the Left. Conservatives deserve occasionally  to have our heads handed back to us on a platter. In this case, by the very funny Andy Borowitz.

Jackboot Julia's carbon dioxide tax: You have been warned

Best of mates
Those who think I have been too rude about  that odious harridan  'Jackboot'  Julia Gillard, should read this terrifying  account of the introduction of  her carbon dioxide tax which sounds like it came out of a totalitarian state like Myanmar rather than the gentle land Down Under. Obama has been cozying up to the socialist Prime Minister [left].  Americans, you have been warned.

11/18/11

Living paycheck to paycheck?

Sixty-one percent of Americans  with jobs are living paycheck to paycheck, according to Chris Wysocki's weekly Obama jobs report

Cartoonist of the Day: Chip Bok

[ via Townhall]

Obama shale drilling delay blocks 200,000 new jobs

Bowing to pressure from environmentalists, the Obama administration has delayed,  for six months,  a shale-drilling  scheme  that would provide 200,000 jobs. More here

Obama and Gillard: Socialist-ing together

Barack Obama and Julia Gillard.  Laughing Conservative readers had a first glimpse of this story yesterday. See: Obama cozies up to Red Julia.   Now see  the flame-haired PM  socialist-ing with Obama, in this photograph via the London  Guardian website. I'll bet they're discussing  the export-crippling carbon tax that the Aussie  harridan rammed through Parliament  despite furious  opposition.

Headline of the Day


UN Wags Finger at Iran, Says “Bad” --  White House Dossier

Eye of newt and horn of toad

[via About]

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

 "Put this in your bongs, heroes"
The Academy of Dung Beetles Award is being  rolled towards the scrofulous OWS protesters who terrorized little kids on their way to school via Wall Street. 

11/17/11

Headline of the Day

OWS here's your chance to stop whining and join the 1%

How to Land a Mining Job In Australia  It's hard, dirty work, but you are  already used to   the dirty part  and you  can earn $200,000 a year and immediately join the 1%.

Farage roasts the Eurocrats

I adore Nigel Farage: His UK Independence Party has failed to gain traction in Britain but he is an elected member of the European Parliament and gives the Eurocrats  hilarious hell at every  possible opportunity, as he does here:

Occupying reality: more than 177 arrested

[Via NYPost.com]
More than 177  people  have been arrested in Manhattan as protesters tried to  block access to Wall Street and clashed with with police, The New York Post reports.

Cartoonist of the Day: Steve Kelley

[via Townhall]

Irony of the Day

White House’s daily guidance: “At 1:00 PM, the Vice President will attend a meeting of the Government Accountability and Transparency Board in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building. At 2:30 PM, the Vice President will meet with representatives of the National Sheriffs' Association in the Roosevelt Room. These meetings are closed press.
[h/t Politico]

FITZ N' STARTZ


A Day Of Rage?  We've been raging  about OWS for two months  and  
 no-one  has listened to us"
ced us

Day of 'Rage': see it live without the lice

Day of 'rage' live:

11/16/11

Occupy Veins

[ via CBS2]
Evidence of depravity in Zuccotti Park: Sanitation workers -- who surely deserved danger money -- found dozens of used hypodermic syringes [some  of them on the left] after the scrofulous hordes were ejected.  HIV anyone?

Bet you can't keep your eyes off Pippa's breasts

[ via Facebook]
I  am  assured by those in the know that Pippa Middleton's body draws more unique hits to websites than anything else in the universe.  So showing her in a plunging neckline, could be seen as  an act of shameless link-baiting. But  in this case it's purely for   audience research. Let's see if it works.

Bam cozying up to 'Red Julia'

President Obama is in Australia  cozying up to the widely-
reviled  socialist Prime Minister -- and carbon tax pin-up girl -- known to readers of this blog as "Red Julia" Gillard  for her flame-colored hair and reverence for the socialist Red Flag.   Jammie Wearing Fools has  a photo of  Bam hovering, apparently uncertain whether to bow or curtsy to the ghastly Aussie harridan.

Gingrich/ Cain? It's possible, says Newt

 A Gingrich/ Cain  or Cain/ Gingrich ticket is a real possibility, Newt Gingrich tells  Newsmax in a must-read interview.  Read it all

GOP vs. Dem: It's a no-brainer

Cartoonist of the Day: Gary Varvel

[via Townhall]

The Case for Newt Gingrich

William Jacobson  at Legal Insurrection has been influenced by Newt's  gravitational field for quite  a while.  Now  he is expressing, very  persuasively, why  he  is  going all-out  in support of Gingrich.

The GOP Conundrum

[via OC Register]