Dear Diary: I flew from D.C to Columbus, Ohio, for the start of my triumphant passage to re-election and overwhelming acclamation from a grateful nation. I had been assured that the arena at Ohio State would be overflowing with thousands of adoring fans. Au contraire: they had to be encouraged to move together so the crowd would look denser for the TV cameras. If denser means having an IQ below room temperature, those folk fit the bill perfectly. When I said my campaign was still about 'hope and change' there was sporadic applause, but nothing like the rapturous cheers I drew in 2008, but that's students for you, always ungrateful. They seem to be expecting employers by the thousand to be lining up to give them jobs. Incredibly, even my dynamic new slogan, 'forward' failed to stir them. What's the matter with today's youth? Three-and-a-half years of unprecedented prosperity under my benevolent presidency, has left them resentful and ungrateful. Personally I blame it on Bush and his 'no child left behind' nonsense. These surly kids should have been left far, far behind. Well, it's getting late, Michelle is calling out to me, time to close the laptop, say a reassuring prayer to myself and to slide into the presidential bed, where the comfort of Boo-boo my blankey awaits under my pillow. Boo-boo is never ungrateful, are you Boo-boo um-num-num-umzzzz...
