Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: Today has been a bummer.  I  came down to earth with a  thud, after rolling off the Presidentopedic in the middle of  the night, during a nightmare in which I was trying to escape Mitt Romney who was trying to strangle me with his soft, pink, manicured  fingers, yelling: "Socialism...you didn't build that."
After several days of campaigning, I  finally had to catch up with some real Presidenting today. I met with my full cabinet, then separately with Panetta who says Bibi and Vladimir  still have their shorts in a bunch because I switched them through to voicemail while I was in New Orleans. Panetta said Assad's forces  are gearing up for a major attack on Aleppo which I thought was the name of  Pinocchio's  creator, but no...Leon said that was Gepetto. In this rare  case, since Panetta is of Italian extraction, I will concede that he may be correct. 
I had lunch with Joe Biden and I congratulated him on keeping his foot out of his mouth for a whole week. There was a brief, awkward silence, then he said he was a persistent geezer  and retold the story of proposing  marriage to Jill five times before she accepted.  Personally, I think she agreed the first time, but  he kept on asking because each time he'd forget her answer. Time to return to the Presidentopedic and my faithful blankey Boo-boo. Barry luv Boo-boo.. um-num-num-um...zzzzzz..