Barack Obama's Diary: Fat Chance

Dear Diary: I've met with some notable visitors today, including New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who is seeking a few billion for reconstruction after Hurricane Sandy. I suspect, with his eyes on the future,  he had a secondary mission: to find out if he can fit through the Oval Office door without  widening work on the door, or narrowing work on him. That whack-job Syria's President Bashar Assad has Sarin nerve gas bombs at the ready and has still not given any signs of heeding my warning of dire consequences, should he use them. [Note to self: make sure he understands that by "dire consequences" I'm not referring to the effect on his  possible victims, but of a Cruise missile. or three, targeting  his palaces.  I wrapped up the official day at 5.30pm by attending the illumination of the national Christmas tree. A nationally owned -- socialized, if you will -- Christmas tree is a fitting symbol of socialized things to come during my next four year in power.