Barack Obama's Diary: Making merry

Aloha, Diary. It's Christmas! Nothing to do today except maybe some golf and body surfing at the beach within the Marine Corpse Base. Imagine: A whole  day that I can devote to thoughts of myself and how to ensure  my proper place in history as one of the world's finest leaders, if not the finest leader. People accuse me of being too self-absorbed. Let me be perfectly clear, a mind as quick and agile as mine needs  constant external intellectual stimulus or it must turn inwards for intellectual refreshment. Instead of the ancient Tibetan Buddhist chant, Om mani padme Om.  I chant  Choom... mani, padme....Choom. Works for me. Yesterday I had been in a quandary over what to give Michelle for Christmas. Then, after much reflection [that is, admiring my image in the mirror] the perfect gift appeared in my mind's eye like a Star in the East: I am a wise man, I reasoned, so I will give her gold, frankincense and me! I immediately dispatched a minion to Saks in Waikiki for a sack of assorted gold bling and a flask of exotic, expensive perfume. This morning I gave her the aforesaid gifts, then stood bare-chested before her and yelled ta-da!