Barack Obama's Diary: Tropical Dreams

Dear Diary: We plan to leave on Friday for Hawaii, but  thanks to cunning disinformation issued via the Secret Service we  had  most folks expecting us to leave DC today. This way I get to look like I am sacrificing  personal time to save the country from the Fiscal Cliff, while simultaneously providing a ticking clock to scare Boehner into caving on a tax  increase. When he has caved on principle, we can knock him down much further. There are days when I'm so clever I could dance and ululate, but that would ruin  my-born-in-Hawaii narrative.  I can foresee the tabloid headlines: "Obama Ululates like a  Kenyan. Trump claims victory in birther dispute."
 "I... so in love with you.. " [that's my Al Green ringtone].
"Boehner? Hi, John... You're offering  something  more on taxes? That's great! I'll have Timmy Geithner call you back and try to close the gap on spending cuts. Then then we can all prepare to get the hell out of Dodge."