Barack Obama's Diary: Buenos Dias!

Dear Diary: I arrived home late last night from Vegas where I had addressed an Hispanic-heavy high school audience on immigration  [lots of potential Democrat voters.]
After morning briefings today I had lunch with Hillary. I have to say that the new prism lens she has in front of her left eye is deeply disturbing.  Like Bill, she has always  had a steady, disarming gaze. Now her left eye shifts if she turns her head slightly  and  the resulting jump in her gaze is plain creepy.
After lunch I had interviews with Telemundo and Univision. I  set out to impress them with my fluent Hispanic:  "Buenos Dias, " I declared. They looked dismayed until an aide told me that the correct usage was Buenas Dias, since dias is feminine. "Disculpe" I said, asking for forgiveness. But my efforts were futile --being afternoon, it was now Buenos tardes... or is that Buenas tardes?   Oh, for heaven's sake, why can't these people speak English? I'm  already going cold on the whole idea of immigration reform.