Barack Obama's Diary: Honest Abe

Dear Diary: I welcomed the new Japanese Prime Minister to the White House today.  "Hi, Abe Shinzo," I said. "How did you wind up with the name of an American president who almost equaled me in distinction and accomplishment?"  There was a stir at my side and a State Department aide whispered urgently in my ear. "It's Shinzo Abe, sir.  not Abe Shinzo." I gestured toward Abe, Shinzo, whatever,  indicating that he should sit down at one of the Oval Office sofas that Michelle found back in '08 at Sam's Club, [a great deal --buy one, get one free]  "Well Abe...Shinzo, which ever. How's it going with those islands where you are disputing ownership with those wiley orientals, I mean  Chinese, whatever. I can never tell you guys apart. " Abe looked puzzled and said something lengthy and unintelligible. I turned to the interpreter for help. "Mr Abe says you are very rude, confusing Chinese and Japanese and that you big-noses all look the same to him." There was an awkward silence. Fortunately Joe Biden chose that moment to burst in, grinning and shaking hands. Sure can work a room, that Shotgun Joe.