Barack Obama's Diary: Goat cojones

Dear Diary:  What a day! Yee-hah! or whatever it is they yell  in Texas.  There I was, leader of the Free World outshining  the dim bulbs who had been disinterred for the opening of the George W. Bush presidential library.   I didn't think much of the place. For my memorial I have in mind something much more imposing, an obelisk  like the Washington Monument with a Hall of Affordable Health Care at its base, maybe.  As the other has-beens reminisced I found myself wondering if Marv, my travel director, had remembered to put my travel blankie under my pillow on Airforce One so I could get some sleep on the way back to DC. I am meeting with King Abdullah of Jordan for lunch tomorrow, when we will dine heartily upon ram's unmentionables, in the private dining room. I'm asking Joe to join us, but have asked the kitchen to describe what we're eating as Arabian meatballs, and to make sure the King gets the eyes, and hope Joe doesn't make some horrible wisecrack like "Here's looking at you, kid."   And then giggling for half an hour.  Nobody knows the troubles I've seen. But enough about me.