Joke of the Day...

 From our Australian correspondent:   Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's  voice from the kitchen:  'what would you like for dinner, my love, chicken, beef or lamb?'
 I said, 'Thank you, I'll have chicken"
 She replied, 'You're having soup you fat bastard, I was talking to the cat."
[Thanks: BH]