Dear Diary: Guten Tag! I am visiting Berlin next month to reprise my famed appearance there in 1998. Himmel, what a day that was! I was Ubermensch, Superman! Some 200,000 people crowded the streets hanging on to my every word. I am already brushing up my German so that I can impress Angela Merkel as we meet for "discussions" [and I tell her how to fix Europe]. It will also be the anniversary of President John F. Kennedy's visit when he famously said: "Ich bin ein Berliner" which does not -- as he thought -- mean "I am a Berliner," but "I am a little bear." Not a gaffe I'm likely to make, given my vast education. I will point this out to Fraulein Merkel. One my aides said it should be "Frau" Merkel. Fraulein, schmaulein...whatever. I have also been practicing my salute: Right arm extended forward and accompanied by a crisply-spoken "Heil". This is sure to impress Angela and all other Germans. But enough about me.