Dear Diary: Ain't that Vlad Pootin' somethin'? I told him over the phone last night that he can forget any private meetin' with me at the G20 conference in St Petersburg. Not after he gave a visa to that treasonous rat, Snowball. I got through the Jay Leno interview without havin' to distract the audience with my rap song. Instead, to be perfectly clear, I held the audience spellbound with my rhetorical skills. Give me some words and I shall weave an enchantin' carpet of sound. In my hands "we need to take every precaution" sounds as mellifluous as "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day." I am better than Shakespeare at Shakespeare. But enough about me.
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