Barack Obama's Diary: Fightin' Words

Dear Diary: My life  is a living hell. Vlad Pootin has been calling at all hours, sometimes just whispering "Syria" and then breathing heavily. To add to my woes, some county in the boondocks of Kentucky [cue: duelling  banjos] has  joined a growing chorus of dislike for the healthy school lunches touted by Michelle.
“They say it tastes like vomit,” said Harlan County Public Schools board member Myra Mosley at a board meeting last week, reports The Harlan Daily Enterprise. Them's fightin' words,  Ms Mosely, and I have the butt bruises  from Michelle's  Jimmy Choo's to show for it. But that's enough about me.  [ECS]