He replied: "First of all, I am President Goodluck Jonathan, not Jonathan Goodluck. Second of all, the mall shooting is in Kenya not Nigeria. Thirdly, any guns we have in Nigeria belong either to the mass murderers of Christians, Boko Haram, or our own Ummd Fosses."
"Ummd Fosses?" I queried. "Yes Ummd Fosses", he repeated. "Fosses that are ummd with weapons."
" Oh, you mean armed forces." I said.
"Yes," said President Jonathan. "Ummd Fosses. Bozo"