Bo's bulletin: It's a dog's life

Wooo-o-o-f!  My master is in a foul mood today and my mistress  is keeping me and Sunny well away from him.  She relented when my master said he wanted to take both us dogs outside to throw a Frisbee for us. This is a familiar routine in which my master takes a joint  and a lighter from a secret compartment in the Resolute desk, grabs a Frisbee and takes Sunny and I onto the South lawn and goes through the pretense of throwing the Frisbee while he inhales Maui Wowie.  After a while Valerie Jarrett called  him inside: "Barry you are On Air in ten minutes. Do you have your address ready?"
"Yes,Val," he said.  My master waved a sheet of paper at her, then he stood in front  of the cameras. A producer introduced himself and said: " Mr President,  we will have a built-in five-minute delay, so we  can recover from any glitches before the viewers notice. Begin your address to camera when I have counted backwards to One....the producer holds up  a hand with three fingers curled up and releases  them one by one. ..." Now give your address." My master  said: " My address is 1600, Pennsylvania Avenue..." The producer turned pale,  shook his head, there was a flurry of activity,  teleprompters were switched on and my master started to read from them. "My fellow Americans..."  What a fustercluck. Woooof!