Progress Notes: Patient 540463, Obama, Barack, H.

Patient is still subject to regular mockery from Vladimir Putin. Putin usually calls during patient's breakfast time in DC  which is evening in Moscow, while I usually consult with Patient in the early evening DC time. Today I arranged to come to patient's private dining room at breakfast time to listen in on a Putin call so I can begin devising some coping skills for patient. I sat with patient and shared some his wholewheat toast until the sounds of the Moscow Steel Foundry Men's Choir coming from  patient's phone  indicated that Putin was calling. Patient put his phone on speaker so I could listen. "Good morning, Obamavitch (patient visibly cringed at the name) Putin here".There was the distinct sound of sheets being  rearranged. A female voice in the background declared: "Who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him. Come out, damned spot! Out, I command you ..." It  was obviously the Shakespearean  actress with whom Putin has been disporting himself since his divorce. "Just disconnect," I told patient --"he's just trying to unnerve you"
"Disconnect, from Vladimir? Patient turned 50 shades of grey. "But, doctor,  I would be left with no strategic guidance for Syria and Iran."   "Just do it," I said, prescribed a mild sedative  for the moron and left. --Dictated by S.H. Rink,  M.D.