Progress Notes: Patient 540463, Obama, Barack H.

I had arranged a consultation with Patient for 7.0pm as  he had a packed, stressful day.  In his private apartment I had him stretch out on a sofa and tell me what was going on in his life. I noticed that he wasn't as alert as usual and asked him how many tablets  of his medication he had consumed today. "Seven" he said. "That's way too much," I said.
" It began with Putin at breakfast."Patient played back the  conversation with Putin he had recorded on his iPhone:  "Good morning Obamavitch. Or should I call you Bath-house Barry?  Bwaaahahaha!" Patient explained that when he was living in the Windy City,  one bath-house was rumored to refer to one room as the "Oral Office and another two as the "Presidential Suite". I made reassuring noises that this was just another way for Putin to bully him.  Then Patient told me about an awkward luncheon  incident today involving Benjamin Netanyahu, Joe Biden and a tureen of soup. I agreed with patient that he was justified in self medicating with the very mild sedative. "But," I warned "Don't you take the dogs for a walk in order to  smoke a secret joint. I will  take a blood sample tomorrow, and if it detects cannabis, no more tranquilizer. The bird-brain nodded his agreement but will doubtless ignore me. ---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.