Dear Diary: Yesterday I made an oblique apology to people negatively affected by ObamaCare and the response was not as positive as I had hoped. People keep going back to my assurance that if they like their health plan they can keep their health plan. Any idiot knows that they have to make allowance for the president's word not exactly matching reality. Michelle's mother likes to follow her horoscope and strangely I'm beginning to think there might be something to it. I consulted my horoscope for today: "Chart-ruler Venus; Hour of Mercury (planet of oaths) with Mercury directly opposing your natal Mercury in retrograde--with this transit's potential for conflicting opinions, disagreements." Well, there you go: conflicting opinions and disagreements --that's the story of my life. I am now going out onto the South lawn with a fat joint of Blueberry Yum Yum to get a second opinion on the true nature of existence. But enough about me.