Badgie saves my day

Dear Diary: Dr Rink's advice to me to revive use of Badgie my comfort blanke has worked extremely well. I slept like a hibernating bear last night and had a wonderful, liberating dream in which I took over the controls of Air Force One and joyfully "disappeared" for a week so that I was not required any longer to go head-to-head with that mean, bullying Vlad Putin over Ukraine. My hero, Neville Chamberlain made a perfectly sensible compromise with Adolf Hitler and promised "Peace for Our Time." It was not his fault that Hitler doublecrossed him and promptly invaded Poland. In my case, being a great strategist, I have prevented  Putin from doing this by sending Joe Biden to Poland. Joe's roars of fury will stop a squadron of T9 Russian tanks. But enough about me.Time now for my midday nap. I am taking Badgie from the secret compartment in the Resolute Desk, leaning back in my office chair  and rubbing my cheek with Badgie's satin edging and popping two fingers into my mouth....num... num..num...zz...zzz.