Barack Obama's Dairy: Poopy-head Putin tries to eat crow, fails

Dear Diary: I placed my iPresidentophone on the table beside me as I added milk to my honeywheat Cheerios, The way things have been going the past couple weeks, a  breakfast phone call from a world leader was inevitable.  Almost immediately the Song of the Volga Boatmen burst forth. "Good Morning, Putin," I said, For it was he.
Quoth Putin:  "Good morning, Obamavitch, I want to talk about the downed airliner in Ukraine."
"If you are seeking to eat crow, Poopy-head, you've come to the wrong guy. Anything that  takes voters' minds off  immigration is fine with me."  That shut him up.  "Yum!" I said into the silence and I let him listen to my munching for a while. "I'll bet you don't have Cheerios in  Russia."   There was silence from the Kremlin. Then came a female voice: Valdimir, Vladimir,  wherefore art thou, Vladimir." The old goat was flexing his pecs with his Shakespearian  actress again.
"Котёнок"  he said."My little kitten."You are so beautiful."
But enough about me.