Today, I tried a cunning new ruse to increase my ganja supply. I persuaded Marv Nicholson to go out to a party with some of my Secret Service protective detail, pick up some weed and return with them to the White House, knowing they would all be waved through without query. Predictably, two of the Secret Service's drivers overdid the bourbon/rocks and their massive midnight-blue Suburbans collided with some crowd barriers at the White House entrance. But, even so, they were waved through without question. So simple! Thus was my ganja supply replenished for the foreseeable future. I'm so clever, I could hug myself and I probably will. Tonight...tonight....I'll smoke a spliff tonight...and hope Dr. S.H. Rink doesn't come visiting and scold me for mixing weed with his sedatives.