Progress Notes for Patient 540463: OBAMA, Barack, H.

  3/5/14:  I had a full schedule of patients to see this morning when I had an urgent call from Valerie Jarrett who said Patient 463 was having some sort of breakdown --hiding under his desk holding tightly to his knees and gibbering about Putin having launched an ICBM at him. "Could you come round urgently? she asked.  I asked my receptionist to put my other patients on hold or reschedule them.  Jarrett was waiting at the door when I arrived and hurried me to the Oval Office. On the way, she told me that Russia had test-fired  a missile over the Caspian Sea and that it  had landed harmlessly in a remote part of Kazakhstan. I found patient as she had described, beneath the Resolute Desk, hugging his knees and trembling. "OK" I said in a commanding tone. "Look into my eyes. Look into my eyes...3...2...1... alakazaam! I snapped my fingers... "you are back into your trance."   "Yes, doctor," he replied and immediately zoned out as I had trained him  to do during previous hypnotherapy sessions
"The missile was just a test firing" I said "and it landed in a remote area of Kazakhstan."  Three... Two..One! snapped my fingers again... you are now awake and free from fear."
Patient awoke and crept out from under the Resolute Desk looking very confused, but calm.  I wrote him a script for Ativan to keep him mildly sedated. Mission accomplished. I was then able to return to my consulting rooms and my other patients. ----Dictated by S.H Rink, M.D.