Barack Obama's Diary: Pole position

Dear Diary: Things were getting a little heated back in the USA, with some of my impertinent subjects daring to question  my judgment in exchanging five Taliban leaders for one  US soldier, who was said by some of his comrades-in-arms to have deserted his post. I don't understand the strange motivations and loyalties of troops in the battlefield. If I were in that man's situation I would simply try to contact the enemy and offer my services to make their attacks more effective. Enlightened self-interest, we liberals call it.
So my scheduled trip to Poland has come at a most opportune time. I told that  the curiously-named  Prime minister, Donald Tusk, who, I am told is intent on expanding Poland's coal industry  to reduce Putin's energy leverage.  Idiot... he will offset all my commands cutting carbon emissions back home. However I am ready to listen attentively to him on the subject of Polish sausages, since I doubt whether he will have anything useful to say about Russia and Eastern Europe. But enough about me.