11/30/14

Dim Crims: Woman brings crack baggie into police station

 Authorities say a woman being cited for public drunkenness in Pennsylvania accidentally dropped a baggie of crack cocaine on the police station floor.  Uniontown police say 23-year-old Savannah Turachak, of Lemont Furnace, was patted down for weapons but not otherwise searched when she was brought to the station Nov. 19. That's because police were just citing and releasing her. But police say Turachak returned moments later to report being harassed by someone and, in the process, fluffed her shirt to straighten it, and the drugs tumbled out. [BJS]

Socialized medicine in action

At least 5,000 Russians have marched in a protest against plans to lay off thousands of doctors and close hospitals in Moscow, AP reports.  Doctors, patients and other protesters braved freezing cold on Sunday to voice their opposition to an ongoing Moscow health care reform that could remove up to 10,000 doctors from their jobs and close 28 hospitals  and clinics by early next year. [BJS]

11/29/14

Joke of the Day...

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone
on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker
function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful
leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and
saw the new  models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted
last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. T hey will
probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand if it's really
a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room
are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.

He turns and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
[ECS]



Priceless: Phuc-kieu falsely accused of rape

This past Sunday in Gainesville, Florida, police arrested and charged Phuc X. Kieu, 58, of Orlando, FL, with sexual battery, robbery and kidnapping. He was accused of assaulting and attempting to rape a man who was withdrawing money from an ATM machine.
Via The UK Daily Mail:
‘The defendant [Kieu] parked his vehicle (green Honda Civic), laid the driver’s seat all the way back and proceeded to watch homosexual pornography on a portable DVD player,’ the report says.
It continues ‘As the victim passed the driver’s side of the vehicle, the defendant exited, grabbed the victim, punched him in the mouth and grabbed he bag containing the money the victim withdrew.’
Kieu, of Orlando, then allegedly tried to undress the man, who was able to get out of Kieu’s Civic, the report says.
At the time, Kieu also allegedly tried to take the man’s backpack from him, which contained the money from the ATM.
Read it all  [ECS]



Dim Crims: Man stabbed for starting dinner too early

Incensed that her boyfriend began eating their Thanksgiving dinner while she was asleep following a day of drinking, a Pennsylvania woman grabbed a knife and stabbed the man after chasing him around the dining room table, police report.
Jack-Lyn Blake, 47, is locked up in the Luzerne County jail on an assortment of criminal charges, including aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, reckless endangerment, and making terroristic threats.

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta  Chronicle]

Our tax dollars at work...

The National Institute for Health has allocated $466,642 to the Magee-Women’s Research Institute to study the sexual habits of obese girls, including how often they have sex and why they are less likely to use protection when they do.

11/28/14

Barack Obama's Diary: Soup to nuts with Joe the dumber

Dear Diary: I had a cold turkey  lunch with Joe Biden  today...an occasion that turned out to be exceptionally awkward. It seems that Joe is seriously pissed  off at the manner of Chuck Hagel's departure (they were once senators together) But what's done is done. I need to keep up my new tough-guy image to help satisfy the rioting masses. "Burn this bitch down!" I shall cry

The ego has landed

Leaving aside passages in which he quoted a Chicago pub owner and a letter from a citizen from Georgia, President Barack Obama used the first person singular—including the pronouns “I” and “me” and the adjective “my”—91 times in a speech he delivered in Chicago Tuesday to explain his unilateral action on immigration.
But as often as Obama used “I,” “me” and “my” in Chicago this week, it was no match for the speech he delivered in Austin, Texas, on July 10, when he used the first person singular 199 times.

Pearls of Wisdom from the Ugandan president


11/27/14

11/26/14

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Refreshing rant against mindless riots

 Our Australia contributor BH, found this refreshing rant by a US black man against mindless rioting.

Barack Obama's Diary: borscht n' fears

Dear Diary: I have been deeply disappointed by the reaction of people of color across the country to my pleas for peace over the Ferguson shooting.  After much soul-searching and generous  bowls of grits, chitlins and collard greens, I have concluded that I need to get closer to the people's speech patterns and show that I am more akin to them, than the honky crackers in my administration: I made a start by dumping Chuck Hagel as Defense Secretary. I have decided also to employ an Ebonics speech coach,  so instead of saying "violence is not justified as a part of a  legitimate protest' I echo Michael Brown's stepfather and say something like : "My brothas and sistahs you mussn't 'burn this bitch down." Valerie Jarrett and Eric Witholder think it  It will  transform my street cred. I might even try it on Vlad Putin  to throw him off balance.

Claim: Brown stepfather 'is gang banger'

Gotnews.com claims to have confirmed that Louis Head,  stepfather  of Michael Brown, is a member of the Bloods gang. Through text messages a top-ranked Ferguson cop is said to have comfirmed that Head and the Brown family are members of the notorious street gang. Head called for Ferguson to riot. [Source

11/24/14

Barack Obama's Diary: Me? Micro-manage?

Dear Diary:  I dropped the drawbridge behind Chuck Hagel today, locking him out of the White House.  Valjar, Eric Witholder and the rest of my loyal inner circle joined me in a glass of champagne to celebrate his departure. Hagel was a pesky person who seemed to think that being Secretary of Defense entitled him to be Secretary of Defense and not to defer to my superior judgement on strategy and battlefield tactics. Give me a break!

11/22/14

Barack Obama's Diary: Jubilations!

Dear Diary: Vegas has laid on a magnificent show for me: Dancing fountains, a volcano, a pirate ship, replicas of the Eiffel Tower, and of Venice....and that was just on the Strip. I had no idea that I was so loved and admired here. I must suggest a new casino called The Amnesty staffed entirely by Latinos. Ole Jose!

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[Columbus Daily Dispatch]

Joke of the Day

Eric Holder rushes into the Oval Office. “I’ve got shocking news for you,” he tells Obama. “Right behind the public library on Wesley Place, we found that ISIS has set up a headquarters in an abandoned building. We’ve found weapons, maps, computers, bombs—you name it. It’s a big operation right here in D.C., and it looks like they’re making plans.”
 Obama looks stunned. “Whoa,” he says. “That is a shock. I didn’t know we had a public library on Wesley Place.”   [ECS]

11/21/14

Barack Obama's Diary: Sauntering down the path to greatness

"Saunter!" I reminded myself as I approached the podium to address the nation on my historic amnesty. My saunter in not unlike John Wayne's, except I keep my arms hanging free to give an impression of complete relaxation. I radiate command: I am in control here, in the People's House. The aura I radiate is very similar to the air of authority that I embody when I disembark oh-so-casually from  Air Force One.

11/20/14

Cartoon: Rick McKee


[The Augusta Chronicle]

Obama 'boosted GOP as much as Reagan'

Last night on Special Report, George Will gave credit to the recent electoral success of the Republican party to someone who probably didn’t want to accept it: Barack Obama.
“Barack Obama once said that he wanted to be as consequential in his own way as Ronald Reagan was,” Will said. “Well, he is in this sense: He’s the greatest builder of the Republican party since Ronald Reagan.”
“Today, there are many fewer House Democrats, many fewer Democratic Senators, many fewer governors,” he continued. “The Republican party controls more state legislative chambers than at any time in its history.”

Lying through our teeth: Bam inflates Obamacare enrollees

 The Federal Government happily announced in September that ObamaCare enrollments were above seven million, meaning that a projection issued by the Congressional Budget Office last year had been met. Look now, however, and the figure is back below seven million, reports Bloomberg. Why? To get to the higher figure, the administration quietly changed the way it counted enrollments—instead of just those with medical coverage, it added in people with dental coverage. Previously, health care officials had reported the numbers separately, and the additional 380,000 dental subscribers put the total above the CBO's threshold. When Republican fact-checkers noticed the change, the Department of Health and Human Services backtracked and reverted to the lower number. Source.         [BJS]

11/19/14

Barack Obama's Diary: I rediscover Lost Vegas

Dear Diary: I have been a somewhat worried about the setting for signing my piece de resistance, the immigration amnesty. I directed Valerie Jarrett, with her unwaveringly astute judgment, to come up with a venue. She suggested the White House to wrap myself in authority of the Commander-in Chief, followed next day by the Lost Vegas school where I first addressed the question of immigration reform. Lost Vegas! Brilliant!  Almost no other city in the USA is more dependent on skilled Latino workers, who are thus disincentivized from causing trouble  or even from celebraing too exuberantly. Even vacationing US citizens are too intent on feeding the slots to take much interest in political stuff. There will be little for news cameras to zoom in on except the hopeful faces of high school kids. Yet again, I amaze even myself with my ingenuity and political genius!

Mia Love rebukes 'dictator' Obama over amnesty


11/17/14

Word of the Day...


Bam's arrogance 'appalls' our military

Military officials are appalled at the "willful incompetence" of the administration of President Barack Obama and its interference in the campaign against the Islamic State (ISIS), according to Lt. Col. Ralph Peters.
"We've a president so arrogant, an administration so arrogant, they think they know how to run military tactical affairs, not just strategic, but tactical affairs, better than military professionals.
"Everyone is appalled at the incompetence, the willful incompetence of this White House," Peters, a retired Army Lt. Col., told Fox News' "America's Newsroom" on Monday.

11/16/14

Diary of Fauxcahontas: Me run in 2016?

Dear Diary: Rumor has it that my impeccable progressive credentials have led some Democrats to conclude that I should to enter the 2016 race for the White House. Of course my native American roots do give  me  unique cultural insights. "White men speak with forked tongue," the wise elders nod in agreement, as they  gather in their tepee to hold a pow-wow, smoking the pipe of peace, their silence punctuated by an occasional brief hiss, as a gobbet of tobacco-laced sputum is expertly squirted into the heart of the blazing campfire.













































































































































































































































Global warming: new evidence

Cold temperatures and snow across the Great Lakes in November is certainly nothing out of the ordinary, but this morning, a layer of ice was visible on parts of Lake Superior in Ashland, Wis.
While this may not seem unusual given the current stretch of unseasonably cold temperatures, it is actually several weeks earlier than normal.
The first sightings of ice on Lake Superior and the Great Lakes overall usually occur during the beginning to middle of December. However, a perfect combination of last season's record ice coverage, cooler summer temperatures, and an early blast of arctic air this fall has allowed for areas of ice to form earlier than normal for the second year in a row. [BJS]

Cartoon: Gary McCoy

[Cagle Cartoons]

11/15/14

Vlad Putin's Diary:Is it time for a dramatic exit?

Dear Diary: It is looking increasingly likely that I will have to storm out of the  the G20 meeting in an orchestrated fury.  David Cameron, the British Prime Minister, has made several impudent demands of me over Ukraine  and even Angular Merkel of Germany has been pressuring me.  Worse, my carefully-crafted prank against Obamavitch has been foiled.  I had planned to invite him to bathe in the sea with me, so I could rip his swim shorts off and he would be stranded  beyond the reach of his aide Marv Nicholson who normally intervenes with a towel. Now that would have been a photo-op.  Alas, his Secret Service detail are hypersensitive after recent screw-ups and decided there were too many Aussie perils, like box jelly-fish,  stone fish and sea-snakes  for them to guarantee his safety, so he declined my invitation. Curses!

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

11/14/14

Vladimir Putin's Diary: My new plot to embarrass Obamavitch

Dear Diary: Here I am Down Under in Brisbane for the G20  summit. Australians seem friendly, if a little too easy-going. I'm not sure if someone of my distinction should be addressed by room service  as " mate" and asked if I would like a "coldie" before dinner. When I answered in the affirmative, I was offered a formidable choice of beers. I opted instead for a miniature bottle of iced Stolichnaya vodka from my suite's mini bar. As I sipped it, I hatched a plan to embarrass Barack Obamavitch once more. I called room service to ask for a pair of swim shorts. "Certainly, Mr President, mate, would you like surfing shorts or a budgie-smuggler?"
"Budgie smuggler?" I asked.
 "That's what we call Speedos here these days because they look like the wearer has a budgerigar (parakeet) hidden in a pouch in front --we have a big problem with tourists smuggling out endangered species.
"I'll have a budgie smuggler and would like another pair delivered to President Obama's suite. Charge it to me."  (I want Obamavitch to have no excuse when I invite him later to join me for a swim in the sea. Bwaaahahaha! He never learns. Making a him look like a moron is like shooting fish in a barrel.) Meanwhile I have flotilla of warships off Australia's northern coast, just remind these G20 delegates who wields the real power around here. That would be me.

11/13/14

Aussie navy pursues Russian warships near G20

Australia is tracking four Russian  warships off its northern coast. Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott said ithey area sign of Moscow’s military assertiveness, amid strained relations after the downing of Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 in Ukraine.
The appearance of the fleet coincides with Russian President Vladimir Putin’s arrival at the G20 summit in Brisbane. Putin’s presence in Brisbane drew questions, given Canberra’s anger at the downing of the Malaysia Airlines passenger jet in July over rebel-held eastern Ukraine, a disaster that killed 298 people, including 38 Australian citizens and residents.

Media blackout shields Obamacare architect

Howard Kurtz writes that he's been trying to figure out why the mainstream media  have all but decided to ignore one of ObamaCare’s chief architects saying the administration played on the public’s stupidity in passing the law.
"After all, the press usually loves when hidden video surfaces, as it did this week with MIT professor Jonathan Gruber, and we get unvarnished comments showing what someone really and truly believes," adds Kurtz.
And yet there hasn’t been a mention on the network evening newscasts. CNN's Jake Tapper, to his credit, played the clip twice, asked two senators about it and wrote an online column on the subject, but that was about it for the network. Nothing in The Washington Post but for a couple of online items. (Update: The Washington Post finally got around to covering the controversy today, three days after it broke.) Not a word in The New York Times, which in 2012 ran a puffy profile of Gruber (“It is his research that convinced the Obama administration that health care reform could not work without requiring everyone to buy insurance”).
This is utterly inexplicable, except as a matter of bias. No matter what you think of ObamaCare, on what planet is this not news? Maybe on that comet where the spaceship just landed...." Read it all.    [BJS]

A Christmas to remember

This moving 2014 Christmas TV ad, based on a true story, was created for  Sainsbury's, the British grocery chain

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Amnesty: Bam continues to play with fire

In a move set to poison relations with Congress for the last two years of his term, President Obama plans to unveil a sweeping executive action as early as next week to legalize millions of illegal immigrants who are living in the United States – as long as they’re with children who were born here and in the country legally.
It’s the most controversial of a set of proposals reported by Fox News. Under the draft, which could be made official as soon as Nov. 21, the government would legalize up to 4.5 million illegal immigrants who have children born in the U.S., with millions more getting the chance to legalize their immigration status through other means, according to Fox.   

Britain orders $6 billion in fighting vehicles

General Dynamics   is to get a $5.76 billion order for nearly 600 Armored Fighting Vehicles from the British army, in a landmark deal ahead of a NATO summit in Wales later this week.
Fortune reports that the order, for 589 Scout Specialist Vehicles, is the biggest from the British army in 30 years and comes as the conflict in Ukraine has exposed the degree to which the U.S.’s allies in Europe have let their defense capability degrade in the 23 years since the end of the Cold War.

Movers and shakers

"Good news, gentlemen. Now you can all  
move to the USA."

11/11/14

Cartoon: Ramirez

[Investors Business Daily]

Barack Obama's Diary: bare-butted with Putin

Dear Diary: Over our breakfast of hot sorghum porridge from South Africa, Vlad suggested we go for a bracing swim in the  hotel's heated pool before the day's APEC proceedings.  I should have known better. Apparently,  Vlad is something of an icon of virility among the ladies of China. I should have expected an immediate attempt at showing off. No sooner had we entered the pool, than I felt hands closing around my swim shorts and they were ripped violently downwards. There I was in the pool, now unable to exit the water with any semblance of dignity.
This had occurred at a previous conference, when Marv Nicholson came to my rescue with a towel. "Marv!" I cried tremulously, hoping he had made provision for a repeat performance. He had. May all the Blessings of Gaia be bestowed upon him. He slipped a towel into the water close to me and I was able to exit the pool, towel dripping water, but with a small remnant of dignity.
"Just you wait, Vlad Putin!" I hissed as I passed him. "Just you wait!" "Putin replied with a   fountain of water from his lips and a Bronx cheer. Crude, impudent man. But enough about me.

11/10/14

Bam beams aboard the Xi Ship Enterprise

Vladimir Putin is menacing Eastern Europe while Obama continues to do nothing, though he did dress up Monday Captain Kirk style, like the rest of the guests at the summit he was attending in China.
Yesterday was the 25th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. Erected by communists, the wall was referred to as the “Anti-Fascist Protection Rampart” by German Democratic Republic authorities, implying that the NATO countries and West Germany in particular were “fascists”. The communist deception is still alive though the wall was torn down long ago. [Source]

Barack Obama's Diary: Hot sorghum porridge

Dear Diary: When my iPresidentophone sounded Song of the Volga Boatmen this  morning, I was ready.  " Is that you, Boozing Boris or you, Mikhail Gorbachev?" I inquired politely.
 "It's Vlad Putin here, idiot, " came the reply. "

Obama's a fool, says Cheney

President Obama is fond of insisting he won’t put boots on the ground. Even when no one is asking. But now he’s putting 275 pairs of “boots on the ground” to protect American assets as the Iraqi army melts away before ISIS terrorists. Here’s Dick Cheney in a controversial WSJ op-ed last week:
Watching the black-clad ISIS jihadists take territory once secured by American blood is final proof, if any were needed, that America’s enemies are not “decimated.” They are emboldened and on the march… When Mr. Obama and his team came into office in 2009, al Qaeda in Iraq had been largely defeated, thanks primarily to the heroic efforts of U.S. armed forces during the surge. Mr. Obama had only to negotiate an agreement to leave behind some residual American forces, training and intelligence capabilities to help secure the peace. Instead, he abandoned Iraq and we are watching American defeat snatched from the jaws of victory.
Cheney goes on to call Obama a fool. It’s hard to argue with that.

11/9/14

Pope ignites 'uproar' among Catholics

U.S. Roman Catholic bishops are gathering at a moment of turbulence for them and the American church, as Pope Francis moves toward crafting new policies for carrying out his mission of mercy - a prospect that has conservative Catholics and some bishops in an uproar.
The assembly, which starts Monday in Baltimore, comes less than a month after Francis ended a dramatic Vatican meeting on how the Church can more compassionately minister to Catholic families.
The gathering in Rome was only a prelude to a larger meeting next year which will more concretely advise Francis on Church practice. Still, the open debate at the event, and the back and forth among bishops over welcoming gays and divorced Catholics who remarry, prompted stunning criticism from some U.S. bishops.
"Many of the U.S. bishops have been disoriented by what this new Pope is saying and I don't see them really as embracing the Pope's agenda," said John Thavis, a former Rome bureau chief for Catholic News Service. "To a large degree, the U.S. bishops have lost their bearings. I think up until now, they felt Rome had their back, and what they were saying - especially politically - would eventually be supported in Rome. They can't count on that now." [Source]

Barack Obama's Diary: All hail to Mikhail

Dear Diary: I'm flying to Asia this morning and I have been  brushing up my Asian language: For Koreans and Chinese, when in doubt,"Good Morning, you rittle yerrow man." usually makes a good start. I had scarcely sat down in my office aboard Air Force One when my iPresidentophone sprang to life with the strains of the Red Army choir singing Song of the the Volga River Boatmen. "Good morning Vlad," I said, But it was not he.  My phone had detected the Moscow origin of the call, but it was Mikhail Gorbachev, not Vlad the Inhaler. "Mr Gorbachev," I said, "Your fame precedes you. You're the guy with a red map of South America on your forehead."  Gorbachev struck back, quick as a snake: "And you, President Obama, are the moron who is about to stumble into a second Cold War".
"That will be 'King Obama' to you, Impudent peasant." Gorby replied: "I've known kings, Obama, and youen.'re no King. were nothing like you...Reagan -- now there was a man with whom I could test my mettle."  Marv Nicholson has brought some  cutting- edge movies to update me on events over there. The Bridge on the River Kwai, The World of Suzie Wong. I settled into the iPresidibed to watch Sir Alec Guiness and William Holden....when men were men. But enough about me.

11/8/14

Socialist medicine in action

The family of a 95-year-old recovering pneumonia patient has slammed hospital staff, after he was left "in agony" while waiting for an ambulance for more than 10 hours in an icy discharge lounge
Arthur Wilson, who was waiting to be taken back to his care home from hospital, was found cold and hungry after he had been in an icy discharge lounge all day.
His daughters said they are "outraged" after seeing their frail father, who had been admitted two weeks earlier with pneumonia, sitting in his pyjamas covered with only a single blanket.
The great-grandfather-of-three, who suffers from Paget's disease - a painful bone disorder - had not been fed all day and was left "in agony" from sitting in his wheelchair at Warrington National Health Service Hospital, near Liverpool.  [Source]  BJS

Barack Obama's Diary: 'Mr. Putin, 'Tear down that storm!'

Dear  Diary: As I sat down to my Froot Loops this morning, my iPresidentophone blared the Red Army Choir version of The Volga River Boatmen.  I was expecting the call after seeing NBC's Al Roker talking about a gathering  Siberian storm predicted to create havoc as it infiltrates  North America and distorts the Polar Vortex. This must be what I was taught about in Kenya/  Hawaii High school history -- a Cold War battle of the kind at which Ronald Reagan  excelled.  I called  for White House videographer  Pete Souza and then I turned on my phone's speaker. Sousa positioned himself in the notorious Clinton closet. As the camera rolled, I declared loudly: " Mr Putin: Tear down that storm!" He replied: "Son of a Vitch, Obama...What the hell are you smoking?"   Which  somewhat detracted from the effect I was seeking. I  caught Souza's eye and ran a a  finger across my throat. He nodded, understanding that I wanted a cut at that point. ( Of course, I never interfere with the media.) But enough about me.

11/7/14

Progress notes for patient 540463, OBAMA Barack, H.

11/07/2014  Patient is still in that unique state of shock and disbelief exhibited by those with Narcissistic Personalty disorder who confront severe rejection . Valerie Jarrett approached me to try and get patient into a mental state in which he could confidently address a crowded media gathering. The necessary treatment requires me to balance on a psychological knife-edge. Patient requires a mild sedative to keep him  calm, but if I overdo it he loses his fluency. and falls back on  silences and filler words to pad his responses. Like err..."um...,"  "er..."  "executive order..." Dictated by S.H. Rink M.D.

Why Obama will be bounced from office

Donald Joy writes: "I recently wrote of an impending “Democrat bloodbath” in the mid-term elections, but even I didn’t expect the wild and complete revolution that just took place across this land.  The full-blown blitzkrieg to victory for Republicans unfolded in so many places and on so many levels that one has to take a minute or so to reflect on what actually happened, why, and what is to follow.  My prediction is that Joe Biden will remain, like a drunken old motel night clerk, to run out the clock on this grisly abortion of an alleged presidency.  Obama will be gone before his second term is fulfilled.
The obstinately arrogant Obama is signalling a final showdown with Ted Cruz’ revitalized and reinforced Tea Party coalition over, among other things, Obama’s proposed executive amnesty for millions of illegal aliens.  It is an ultimate-stakes game of political “chicken” which will force congress to remove a perversely delusional, power-mad president.
"It’s easy to make such a bold and provocative prediction, especially when one is a relatively obscure writer and therefore will suffer no great loss of reputation, property, or prospects if one is wrong.  However, I find the forecast reasonable, and have reasoned it out.  Through his continued lawlessness, Obama will flippantly dare Congress to impeach him, and despite not really wanting to do it, they will have to..."

Barack Obama's Diary: Eaten Alive

Dear Diary: The past couple of days have been a blur which I have only negotiated with the help of Dr. S.H.Rink and his medications. To my utter consternation, the electorate appears to have voted overwhelmingly for the Republicans. On Discovery  there is an upcoming documentary in which an adventurer  volunteers to be swallowed head first by an anaconda --an experience not unlike mine this past week, as  I sat mildly sedated  in the Oval Office, entering a dark, dank, tunnel of depression, while a seemingly endless series of crestfallen aides came in, each bearing news more horrifying than the last, drawing me ever further into the body of the Beast. But enough about me.

Cartoon: Eric Allie

[Cagle Cartoons]

11/6/14

Did media agree to Ebola suspects cover-up?

An admission at the end of a Forbes article written by pharmacologist David Kroll alleges that the mainstream media has now agreed not to report on new suspected Ebola cases in the United States.
Kroll describes attending a press conference involving Department of Health and Human Services Secretary Aldona Wos.  After revealing that “an unnamed official abruptly called the press conference to a close” when Wos was asked a difficult question about a suspected Ebola victim, Kroll then drops a bombshell.  “The Associated Press and other press outlets have agreed not to report on suspected cases of Ebola in the United States until a positive viral RNA test is completed,” he writes.
Kroll then felt the need to justify why he was talking about the suspected Ebola case at Duke Hospital, which subsequently turned out to be negative, explaining that he was, “covering tonight’s announcement of a potential Ebola case because it "has been reported in my area, and at Duke University Medical Center, an institution where I hold an unpaid adjunct associate professor appointment."
Even this monumentally idiotic administration  would  surely not risk rumor-fueled civil  panic by destroying  the credibility of national media reporting on the incidence of Ebola. [Source]  [ECS]

Louisiana Dems let Landrieu sink

 Senate Democrats' campaign committee on Thursday began canceling television ads in Louisiana's major markets to help Sen. Mary Landrieu's runoff campaign against Republican Bill Cassidy, making her re-election bid an even steeper challenge.   [Source]  [BJS]


Dr. Ben Carson: ' I'm running for president'

Dr. Ben Carson, famed neurosurgeon and conservative superstar, is running for president.
Officially, Carson – who just became a Republican after spending years as an Independent – is ready to challenge the policies of President Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. And it all begins with a 40-minute long television special he is sponsoring to introduce himself:  The documentary titled “A Breath of Fresh Air: A New Prescription for America” will air in 22 states and Washington, DC. The paid video will detail some of his biography and family life, including his rise from being born to a single mother with a poor childhood in Detroit to director of pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins for almost 40 years, known for his work separating conjoined twins, to potential 2016 presidential candidate.  Carson first became a conservative star when last year he created a buzz at the National Prayer Breakfast when, in front of an audience that included President Obama and Vice President Joe Biden, he  spoke out bluntly about political correctness, health care and taxes.  Read more:

Cartoon: Paul Zanetti

[Cagle Cartoons]

Progress Notes for Patient No. 54046, Obama, Barack, H.

11/6/14 The inevitable call came late on election night from Valerie Jarrett: Patient was showing the worst characteristics of  someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder who has been rejected by those from whom he  most yearns to have admiration.   I entered the private apartment with Ms Jarrett to find patient curled up in a fetal position on the hideous brown sofa,  thumb in his mouth, whimpering.  Ms.Jarrett caught my eye and shrugged. I asked some standard questions to assess his mental state. Not good. "I am going to give you a mild dose of something to help you relax," I told him and injected one of his stringy  buttocks with a shot of Ativan, a mild sedative.  Ms Jarrett asked me to remain overnight so I would be available when patient addressed the media next morning. Dictated by S.H. Rink, MD.

11/5/14

Cartoon: Aftermath


Obamatoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

The Madness of King Barack

"Obama still has two more years left in his final term," writes Charles Hurt in The Washington Times.  "Already, he has demonstrated again and again that he has no regard for the constitution or the legitimacy of laws when they do not suit his agenda," Hurt adds. "He flaunts his disregard for the constitutional process, dismisses laws he doesn’t like and rewrites others.
He mocks the powers of Congress. The Supreme Court has slapped him down more than any president in recent times. All of this as he tells us he is an expert on constitutional law.
Now come his very explicit threats to pass more illegal and unconstitutional presidential edicts to grant amnesty to illegal aliens already in the United States. This, in turn, will issue invitations for millions more illegals to come streaming across the border. Hurt warns:  "It will not end at immigration. Unchecked power is addictive. Disowned by Democrats and made to feel irrelevant in this election, President Obama’s enormous and unjustified ego is deeply wounded. He is frustrated and feels caged, cornered. This is when people like him are most dangerous..."  Read it all:

Utah shows Mia its Love

South Carolina Senator Tim Scott wasn’t the only candidate who made history Tuesday. Following his footsteps is Utah’s Mia Love, who became the first black Republican woman elected to Congress.

Obamatoon: Gary McCoy

[Cagle Cartoons]

Barack Obama's Diary: Woe is me! O, Woe,woe, woe...

Dear Diary: I am in shock, SHOCK,  I tell you. Not about the elections [geniuses like me are seldom appreciated in their own time] but from the lava flow on the Big Island burying my  small plantation  of Blueberry Yum-Yum, the merlot of marijuanas. I went to bed early last night -- as is my habit at critical moments like the night of  the Benghazi incident. This morning, as I consumed my Honeynut Cheerios, I switched off my iPresidentophone, to preempt  any impudent calls from Vlad, Bibi, and their like, offering  gratuitous advice on winning elections. But enough about me.

11/4/14

Joke of the Day...

Comes from our all-seeing Alaska contributor, TG:
A devout Muslim entered a black cab in London . He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because, as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel. 
The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door. 
The passenger asked him, "What are you doing?" 
The cabbie said: Guv', In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so piss off and wait for a camel."

11/3/14

Ouch! Putin spanks Obama

An art gallery, dubbed “No Filters,” opened on Friday in Moscow with over 100 pieces of art seeming to display Putin as superior to Obama. The piece of art gaining the most attention, at least here in America, is one where Putin is depicted spanking  Obama as a schoolboy. [ECS]






Cartoon: Stilton Jarlsberg


My twilight years -- by Clint Eastwood

Our Alaska contributor, TG, forwarded this:

My Twilight Years ~ by Clint Eastwood 

"As I enjoy my twilight years, I am often struck by the inevitability that the party must end.
There will be a clear, cold morning when there isn't any "more."    No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat.  It seems to me that one of the important things to do before that morning comes, is to let every one of your family and friends know that you care for them by finding simple ways to let them know your heartfelt beliefs and the guiding principles of your life so they can always say, "He was my friend, and I know where he stood."
 So, just in case I'm gone tomorrow, please know this: I voted against that incompetent, lying, flip-flopping, insincere, double-talking, radical socialist, terrorist excusing, bleeding heart, narcissistic,  scientific and economic moron currently in the White House."

11/2/14

Obamatoon: Nate Beeler




Beware pre-traumatic stress disorder

Our man in Australia, BH sends this  from  Sydney's Telegraph  newspaper, home to the excellent columnist Tim Blair, who says that Britain’s Independent newspaper reported in 2000 that future UK children “just aren’t going to know what snow is.” The paper claimed that “warmer winters – which scientists are attributing to global climate change – [will] produce not only fewer white Christmases, but fewer white Januaries and Februaries.”
Happily, writes Blair, few of the alarmists’ dire outcomes have come to pass. The worst of it was some out-of-sequence suburban plant activity down in Melbourne, Australia, where writer Suzy Freeman-Greene described a few months ago how global warming had brought terrifying climate change to her street: “Spring bulbs started coming up in a neighbor’s garden in May.”
"For a public conditioned to anticipate molten polar ice caps, empty dams and – for all I know – the spontaneous combustion of housecats, a few rogue bulbs just aren’t going to cut it. You can imagine how this absence of disaster is going down in climate alarmist circles. The poor dears are beside themselves.
“From depression to substance abuse to suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder, growing bodies of research in the relatively new field of psychology of global warming suggest that climate change will take a pretty heavy toll on the human psyche as storms become more destructive and droughts more prolonged,” wrote Madeleine Thomas last week for the online journal Grist.
“For your everyday environmentalist, the emotional stress suffered by a rapidly changing Earth can result in some pretty substantial anxieties.”
But further reading of Thomas’s piece indicates that environmentalists are not wigging out because of climate change, but precisely because the climate isn’t changing. She quotes Washington DC forensic psychiatrist Lise Van Susteren, who says climate warriors are suffering from something called “pre-traumatic stress disorder.” As Thomas explains, this is a term describing “the mental anguish that results from preparing for the worst, before it actually happens.”

Why ALL Democrats must be punished for the Obama calamity

A registered Democrat, Michael Goodwin, just penned a stunning and powerful rebuke of the Obama Democrats that should be mandatory reading for every American:

We are witnessing the total collapse of a bad idea. Obamaism, a quasi-socialist commitment to a more powerful government at home and an abdication of American leadership around the world, is being exposed as a historic calamity. It is fueling domestic fear and global disorder and may well lead to a world war.
If there is a smidgen of a silver lining, it is that the unraveling, complete with Obama’s shameless attempts to duck responsibility, is playing out on the eve of the midterm elections. Fortunately, voters seem ready to respond by giving Republicans control of both houses of Congress.
I second that emotion, and not just because Obama is a failure. For all his narcissism, he didn’t make this mess alone.
He was aided and abetted by every Democrat in Congress. They marched in lockstep with his cockamamie policies, from ObamaCare to open borders. They protected corrupt leaders in numerous federal agencies, from the IRS to the Genera Services Administration. They stymied efforts to find the truth about Benghazi and the Fast and Furious gunrunning debacle.
They ceded their constitutional obligations and allowed Obama to crash the system of checks and balances. The vast majority stood silent while he gutted the military and abandoned our allies, including Israel, Egypt and Saudi Arabia, and courted Iran, the most menacing nation on Earth.
With painfully few exceptions, Democrats put their loyalty to him above their duty to America.
And now they must be punished. All of them.
Normally, I am not a partisan advocate. I am a registered Democrat, though I vote as an independent.
Not this year. This is a national emergency and the only responsible action is to vote Republican for every federal office.
On Tuesday, all Americans concerned with the future of this country should put a ballot boot in every Democrat's keister.  [Source]

Cartoon: Stilton Jarlsberg


11/1/14

Bam finally unearths a supporter

[ECS]

Barack Obama's Diary: My secret genius

Dear Diary: There are times I could hug myself for my genius. There are dire predictions being made about the losses that Dems will incur  in the mid-terms.  But they have reckoned without my genius. The amount of golf I play has been criticized but I am secretly repackaging it as meetings of The Tee Party, an organization so right-wing that it can only fly in circles. Imagine the impact of that surprise on the cryptofascist bankers of North Carolina and the  duck hunters of the Lousiana swamps. But enough about me.

Bam faces a dire Tuesday

Chalk up another title to President Obama’s legacy — the White House executive who’s about to oversee the worst successive midterm elections losses in 64 years.
The Democrats under Mr. Obama lost 63 House seats in 2010. And now, they’re poised to lose up to 12 from the House in Tuesday’s elections — and that’s the worst losing record in back-to-back, four-year midterms since Harry Truman days.  [Source]

Obamatoon: Gary McCoy