Fear and Loathing in a 2004 Kia Optima

Do yourself a favor and read Robert Stacy McCain's insightful reports from Tampa and, if you can, do him a favor and hit his tip jar to help him survive an automotive nightmare.

Bibi on Iran: 'Time has run out'

In another dividend from Obama's 'smart diplomacy,' Israel's Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu has had a diplomatic shouting match with US Ambassador Dan Shapiro over Barack Obama's handling of Iran's nuclear program, saying "time has run out" for diplomacy. More here

Dirty Barry

"Joe, change of plan: buy a .44 magnum and
ask the GOP if they're feeling lucky"

Barack Obama's Diary: SuperMitt

Dear Diary: Seldom do I have two diary entries for one day, but Mittman has suddenly become Supermitt. He cleverly called off  a scheduled visit to Virginia and will fly in his new campaign plane to Louisiana to tour the disaster areas with Gov. Jindal. Awkwaard.  I have had to make hasty arrangements to cancel events for Monday and visit Louisiana two days after Supermitt arrives. Woe is me, again looking as if I am leading from behind.

Heckuva job, Barry

Mitt Romney will visit storm-affected areas in New Orleans today, skipping a previously scheduled joint rally with running mate Paul Ryan in the swing state of Virginia.
A Romney aide told ABC News that Romney will “join Gov. Jindal and will meet with first responders, thank them for their work and see areas impacted by the storm in LaFitte, La.”
Meantime, Barack Obama will be showing his sympathy for Louisiana by visiting Texas.

Chicago nail-biting

 The always-excellent Keith Koffler at White House Dossier: "I guarantee you, the Obama operation in Chicago is very concerned... They are facing a presidential candidate who has switched gears from so-so to very good, a vice presidential candidate whose obvious qualities far eclipse the joker they are running, and a potential first lady people will like having around." Read it all.

Barack Obama's Diary: Dirty Sandra

Dear Diary: I did not deign to watch Mittman's speech last night and contented myself with a witty twat on Twitter:  "This seat's taken." That'll show those rabid rightists who's boss. As for Dirty Harry, Sandra  Fluke will blow him away  when she addresses the Democratic convention in Charlotte. Maybe I should rephrase that.


They're sMITTen

The Republican convention erupted with energy and enthusiasm for Mitt Romney Thursday night as he delivered an  excellently crafted, well-paced and powerful speech accepting his nomination. The Other McCain has the full text.

A package from heaven

[From: The Looking Spoon ]

Barack Obama's Diary: electric shock

Dear Diary: A quiet day today after a busy few days campaigning. Apparently the parents of 37 troops who died in a helicopter crash  in Aghanistan are  unhappy that I sent them form letters of sympathy signed with an electric pen. Of course I am very sad for their loss. But I am surprised that they expect me, as leader of the free world, to personally sign such letters. At two seconds a letter, 37 letters would  take up more than a minute of my time. People are so critical. Next they'll be saying that  I record my personal diary on a digital recorder and it is transcribed  later by an assistant. As if.  [Brenda, that's it for now. I'll dictate the rest  of this day's entry at bedtime --B.O.

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is  being rolled towards the racist leftoids  who sent vile tweets  about Condoleezza Rice and Mia Love.

Cartoon: Gary McCoy

[Cagle Cartoons]

Clint Eastwood 'is GOP's mystery speaker'

Clint Eastwood is reported to be the mystery speaker due to address the GOP convention in Tampa Thursday. Read more.

Obama: a chilling allegation

A chilling allegation: Obama honored  dead Navy SEALS by sending parents a form letter signed  by  an electric pen. Read more.


A Brief Love Story

A man and a woman who had never met before,  but who were both married to other people, were assigned to the same sleeping compartment on a long-distance train. Though initially embarrassed, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying : "Ma'am, I'm so sorry to bother you, but would mind reaching into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm very cold."
"'I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight: let's pretend that we're married."
"That's a great idea!" he said.
"Good," she replied: "Get your own f**king blanket."
The End.

Cartoon: Cameron Cardow

[Ottawa Citizen]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Barack Obama's Diary: Ignored in VA

Dear Diary: I was  extremely annoyed several days ago when that distinguished institution,  the University of Virginia, refused to let me campaign on their campus. My campaign team instead arranged a rally at a stadium named for some redneck phone carrier. So it was that, on a hot and sticky afternoon, I flew into Charlottesville. And, can you believe it,  I noticed on my way on the way to the stadium that people were going about their daily business seemingly oblivious to my majestic progress from Albemarle airport. Outrageous. If Virginia were not a swing state, I would likely avoid it, except for the DC suburbs where there are multitudinous Federal employees for whom I have created thousands jobs and who worship the very ground I walk upon. After a couple hours of campaigning I was back on board Taxpayer One, flying home to DC and dinner with M. and the kids.  Now I am ready to slide into the Presidentopedic, to clutch my blankey Boo-boo... Barrry luv Boo-boo, um-num-num-um...zzzzz

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Why journalists hate conventions

From  The Columbia Journalism Review: "So why are so many journalists deriding the conventions as hours-long infomercials even as my fellow political scientists defend their merits? The problem, in short, is that the conventions undermine journalistic “voice.” In every other aspect of the campaign, the candidates and their messages are filtered through journalists who are reticent to allow them to speak or be quoted at any length without interpretation or analysis. While scrutinizing policy proposals and fact-checking their claims can be valuable exercises, far more coverage displaces the candidates’ messages in favor of ill-informed horse race analysis and theater critic-style analysis of the “optics” of the campaign. Unlike the debates, which are moderated by journalists, the conventions allow the parties and the candidate to speak to voters unfiltered in prime time. That may be threatening to the professional status of journalists, but it’s good for America." Read it all.
[Thanks BJS]

Christie: Bruiser who speaks his mind

"Christie has a fantastic, authentic personality. He’s a bruiser who speaks his mind. Some may find his approach bullying (unions certainly don’t like it), but for others it’s a welcome alternative to the endless, empty sunshine of professional politics." Tim Stanley in the U.K. Telegraph. Read it  all

Joe to the rescue

"Obama's in Virginia. I'm Joe 

Biden. Follow me."

Heckuva job, Barry

President Obama will be campaigning in Charlottesville, Virginia, on Wednesday as Hurricane Isaac lashes Louisiana and Mississippi.

Mamma Mia!


Barack by moonlight

Cartoon: Eric Allie

[Cagle Cartoons]

Dems war on women

Dems overplay the race card

 "In 2008, the hope for many was that Obama would transcend race, moving the nation beyond the exhausting topic. Instead of a post-racial politics, our politics are saturated with ridiculous charges of racism. "No drama Obama" is instead a source of constant drama, often hyped in the most ludicrous ways," writes Jonah Goldberg.  Read it all.
[Thanks BJS]

Barack Obama's Diary: Where was I?

Dear Diary: I took my campaign on the road again today to campuses out West. It's always a pleasure to address the young. It takes me back to my carefree days getting stoned  in Hawaii with the Choom Gang. I was reading today that a  new study shows that regular cannabis smoking by teenagers can produce a lowered IQ and memory problems later in life. I can personally attest to the compleat inaccuracy of this assesstimation. Where was I? Oh, yes. cannabis and its effect on mammary and IQ.  To demonstrate:  2+3=7 See? No harm, no fowl.


Leftoid meets trucker

It's sometimes a comfort to know that this not the only country cursed with condescending environuts, warmists and their running dogs. Tim Blair of the Sydney's Telegraph has the tale of a leftoid lady bicyclist who happened upon a delivery truck halted in a bicycle lane forcing her to stop.  Read it all, and learn the unimaginable horror that followed.  [Thanks: BH ]

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: Auugh! I was told that Rush Limbaugh  today hinted that I had interfered with Hurricane Isaac and  thereby caused delay to the GOP convention.  I immediately thought: He must know about Valerie Jarrett's cauldron and her incantations to the spirits of rain and wind. But it turns out that Rush was just having some fun suggesting that I had influenced forecasters to hype the hurricane  enough for the GOP  to cancel Day One.  My majestic, yet elusive, genius prevails again. Phew

Ride With Cabby

Where ya goin'?   Grand Central? OK. Traffic's terrible  but whatya-gonna-do? How 'bout Romney gettin' blown off course by  Hurricane Isaac? Is he for real?  I read in da Post dat he once saved da Winter Olympics but now he can't save a convention from a bit of  wind. But den ya got Obama who can't organize a piss-up in  a brewery, as da Brits say. Fifteen trillion bucks in stimulus and I still have to work double shifts to pay da rent and meantime da roads in Manhattan is still fulla potholes. Where's da jobs? Obama's full of it. If I saw him hailing me from da sidewalk, fuggedaboudit wouldn't pick him up. His type don't tip. And how 'bout dem Yankees?

Mitt's secret: He's a truly nice guy

Like many people Andrew Ferguson was unimpressed with Romney for petty and superficial reasons. Then he resolved to uncover the real Romney; what he found  was a  delightful surprise. Read more. 

Cartoon: Gary McCoy

[Cagle Cartoons]


Barack Obama's Diary: Winds of change

Dear Diary:  It's Sunday night and we're back in the White House after an exhausting weekend at Camp David.  Yay! Valerie Jarrett added an eye of newt and toe of frog to her cauldron and the spell has worked. Her incantations to the spirits of wind and rain are increasing the velocity of Hurricane Isaac as I write, forcing Mittman and Ryan to shorten their convention. I am a genius though I say so Myself, and I do. Even Romney on Saturday was so in awe of My Majestic Self that he mentioned me to an audience in Iowa and  added: "Bless his heart." Indeed I am exceptionally blessed -- with an incredible intellect and remarkable modesty. Bless me! I am about to slide into the Presidentopedic to enjoy the satin-edged comfort of my blankey Boo-boo... Barry luv Boo-boo..um-num-num-um..zzzzz

The real cost of socialized medicine

Yet again Britain's National Health Service demonstrates the pitfalls of Obamacare-style health care.  Britain's left-leaning Guardian has more.

The Book of Mitt

A good day.  The  weather could have been kinder in Florida, but feedback shows I have succeeded in putting Barack Obama on the backfoot in Iowa, with the simple use of irony. It has become apparent to me that narcissists are often too vain to notice irony, bless their hearts, so let it be known that henceforth I'll be making maximum use of irony, to highlight Obama's multitudinous shortcomings, bless his heart. He won't know how to respond to a wish that he be blessed, but a wish that simultaneously diminishes his stature. Bless his heart.
[h/t The Lonely Conservative]

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards Obama campaign co-ordinator Charles Cooke III who used the death of Neil Armstrong as an excuse for a bigoted Tweet about Mitt Romney.

Cartoon: Frederick Deligne

[Nice Matin, France]


Afghanistan rock

Thanks to  to Adrienne's Corner for this upbeat visit to our  brave and irrepressible troops on the front line.

The Book of Mitt

As a prominent Mormon, I strive to be an exemplary in my personal conduct. But there are people who test my resolve to the limit. Todd Akin  is such an individual. He is what a less temperate person might call a selfish b#*tard. Oops... I almost said the b-word. I am urged to use humor to project more warmth, so I made a  passing joke  yesterday about no-one ever asking for my birth certificate. All hell heck broke loose in the liberal media. Ann and I  admire restraint and she wants me to save my best anti-Obama line for  later in this week's Convention: "Give me liberty or give me debt." Pretty good, if I may say so myself, but since pride is a sin, I can't. Trump says he has a surprise in store for the convention. Let us pray that it has nothing to do with a  hurricane and a comb-over. The convention  now won't begin properly until Tuesday. Let us therefore be grateful that this has forced Obama to recall Biden from Florida, so Joe can't tell any of his excruciating Yo' mama so fat jokes aimed at attracting media attention away from the GOP.

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Barack Obama's Diary: I'm in a snit

Dear Diary: I am in a snit. The University of Virginia has refused my request to use their campus for a campaign event. Refused me, one of the greatest figures of American history who will eventually completely eclipse UVA's founder, Thomas Jefferson. UVA say they don't want their schedule disrupted on the second day of their academic year. Hmmm. Another thing that is contributing to my agitation is Mittman's so-called "joke" that he has not ever being asked to show his birth certificate.  Hah. Hah. The only thing keeping my spirits up is the hope that I will have to send FEMA in to rescue Mittman and Ryan from the wrath of Hurricane Isaac. How sweet would that be. I've asked Valerie Jarrett to add eye of newt and toe of frog to her cauldron and  to begin incantations to the spirits of Wind and Rain.

Joe's Journal

Dear Journal:   By the pricking of my thumbs something wicked this way comes. MacBarack  and his coven of witches and warlocks gathered around their bubbling West Wing cauldron have told me to call off my Florida visit in case I disrupt emergency services when Hurricane Isaac arrives. So, alas, I'll never get to use the great soundbite I had prepared with which to chide Romney on the evening news, to wit: " Mitt, you think you so clever but Isaac's goin' to put y'all back in RAINS." Also I had hoped the weather would allow me to get to know Romney better so  after November I could say I've been intimate with five presidents.

Tampa's treacherous temptations

Blogger and Tampa resident Rick Wilson of Ricochet delivers an awful warning of the fate that awaits GOP conventioneers  who fall for Tampa's seedy temptations. Read it all

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]


Mitt baits a trap

"Isaac is a gentle breeze, Akin. I've saved you 
a seat on the beach"

Fake umbrage over Romney joke

Charles Krauthammer has slammed the Obama campaign's  "outrage" over Mitt Romney's birther joke as the “most absurd example of fake umbrage in the history of fake umbrage”. More here.

Norway hands mass killer Breivik a tough sentence

[Martin Sudovec, Slovakia]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Obama's joyless slog

Four years after he was swept to victory on a wave of euphoria and optimism, Barack Obama's re-election campaign has become a joyless slog, writes Toby Harnden. Read it all.
[Thanks: BJS]

Dems could nuke all US nukes

Obama's State Department is reported to be evaluating the total elimination of the US nuclear arsenal.  Find out more

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: Nobody knows the troubles I've seen. After a morning with no events,  I was  completely exhausted. The family and I proceeded majestically to Camp David for a weekend of rest and recreation. I have disliked the bed in the Presidential Cabin ever since it was short-sheeted by Dmitry Medvedev, on the instructions of Vlad the Impaler during the G8 conference. So I will  be glad of the comfort of my  travel blankey, Boo-boo-two, which Marv my faithful trip director, never fails to place under my pillow. After penning these few words, My  Imperial Majesty will retire graciously to bed. Barry luv Boo-boo-two...um-num-num-um...zzzzz..

Breaking: Multiple shooting at Empire State Building

An unknown number of people have just been shot outside the Empire State building, according to the NY fire department.  No further details yet.
UPDATE: Three or four victims wounded, condition unknown, shooter dead.  More here

Joe's high anxiety

You did dope at high school, Barack, will 
you be stripped of your title?


Bullet-proofing Bam

[From: Aftermath]

GOP weighing return to gold standard

"The gold standard has returned to mainstream U.S. politics for the first time in 30 years, with a “gold commission” set to become part of official Republican party policy. Drafts of the party platform, which it will adopt at a convention in Tampa Bay, Florida, next week, call for an audit of Federal Reserve monetary policy and a commission to look at restoring the link between the dollar and gold," The Financial Times reports via CNBC. Read it all

Obamanomics cost near-retirees 10%

Thanks for zero, Zero: The typical American 55 to 64 years old has a household income almost 10 percent less than it was when the recovery officially began three years ago. Read more.
[Thanks BJS]

Joe's Journal

Dear Journal: Be still, my heart. I had a dreadful fright this morning. I knew Barry the Kid was in Vegas Wednesday. I had the Today show on TV while I was getting ready for breakfast. I was applying Crest Whitestrips to my teeth, not watching the screen, when Matt Lauer said Barry had been photographed naked in his Vegas suite with various unclad ladies. Yikes!  Michelle will rip his head from his shoulders, I thought. I am truly a heartbeat away from the Presidency. When I  had caught my breath enough to watch the screen I realized, with a flood of relief, it was not Barry the Kid, but Harry the Prince, about whom Lauer was hyperventilating. 

Barack Obama's Diary: Mittmare

Dear Diary: Auugh! I thought I would sleep a dreamless sleep from exhaustion after Wednesday's extreme day of campaigning, meeting teachers in Vegas and fundraising  in New York City followed by a flight home to DC. But noooo.  Dreams I had after all,  and who should gatecrash them: Mittman and Ryan, prancing about, goading me with  incorrect arithmetic and cackling as they did so. Michelle had to shake me awake, saying:  "Barry wake-up you're having another Mittmare."  I slept only fitfully after that, so I was truly grateful that Valerie Jarrett had the foresight to keep my schedule clear until around midday when I received the Presidential briefing. Same old, same old, with half the Middle East snarling at the other half. The only bright spot on the horizon is a hurricane  that may be heading for the GOP convention to disrupt Mittman and Ryan's cozy double-act. 

Honey, I shrunk the middle class

Thank you, Bam: The middle class is  growing poorer and shrinking in size, according to research from the Pew Research Center. Read it all.  [Thanks BJS]

Headline of the Day

From the The Sun, London, via Drudge:

Zero minus zero equals zero

Obama said on the campaign trail yesterday that Republican Todd Akin, center of  the rape/pregnancy controversy, must have missed out on science class. Meantime, the economy tells us that Obama missed out on basic arithmetic. 


Barack Obama's Diary: Vegas to the Big Apple

Dear Diary: I have dispatched Geezer Joe to Tampa, scene of the Republic National Convention next Monday so he can provide some TV audience diversion if things go too well for Mittman and Ryan. Also I am beginning to find his constant references to me as "Barry the Kid," more and more irritating. I need a break from the old coot. I've had a long day today, beginning with a teachers' round-table in Sin City, then a campaign event, then onto Taxpayer One for the long flight to New York City and two more events at the Lincoln Center. Finally the flight home to D.C.,  the Presidentopedic and the delights of Boo-boo my blankey. I hope I'm too tired to have Mittmares. Barry luv Boo-boo um-num-num-um...zzzzz... 

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles' award went to Todd Akin of Missouri, yesterday,  for damaging the Republican Party with idiotic opinions about rape and pregnancy, then refusing to quit. Now another sleazeball has surfaced, a Democrat this time, who claims that oral  sex he had with a 17-year-old boy at an interstate rest stop is a "private matter." Today's Dungbeetle Award is being rolled towards Minnesota Rep. Kerry Gauthier.

Cartoon: Eric Allie

[Cagle Cartoons]

Joe's Journal: Confusion reigns

Dear Journal: I've been told to be in Tampa next week for the Republican National Convention. I thought my role there was to act as a critic and decoy. But  --heaven forbid-- maybe I'm supposed to address the convention. I'm sure I have been a Democrat all my life. Could I be confused? I can't ask Barry the Kid because he will launch into his usual tedious routine of asking me what day, month and year it is.  Simple: Wednesday, April 18, 2008. I had best start working on a speech to have it ready just in case. "Friends, Republicans and country folk, lend me your ears." That will make a good opening.

Mia Love gets prime time RNC slot

Great news: The hugely impressive GOP  congressional contender Mia Love  has been given a high-profile speaking slot at the Republican National Convention. More here.  [Thank you: Reaganite Republican]

Obama campaign cheesy, say Swiss

 Even the Swiss think Obama's campaign is cheesy. More here


Cartoon: John Darkow

[The Columbia Daily Tribune, Missouri]

Joe's Journal

Dear Journal: Young Barack  put what he said was a cyanide capsule next to my iced-water at lunch yesterday.  Then he said: "Just kidding, Joe" and it turned out to be Prilosec.  So this old geezer lives to fight another day, free from indigestion. Meanwhile I see that there is some GOP guy in Missouri who is creating a storm about rape. Last I heard it was that Wikileaks guy, Julian Assange, who was the one creating a storm about rape and Sweden wanted him extradited from Britain. But what does "Plugs" Biden know about such things? They are circulated through the administration on a "need to know" basis. Jarrett and Axelrod  say I don't "need to know" most things, for fear that I'll inadvertently publicly  speak the truth (known around here  as "committing a gaffe.") It seems I still  do have my uses, as I have been delegated to act as as a distraction commentator in Tampa during the Republican National Convention  next week. Watch out GOP, I'm soon gon' have y'all  back in chains...

Cartoon: David Fitzsimmons

[The Arizona Star]

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards  Missouri Republican Todd Akin,  who refuses to obey calls from fellow Republicans to quit his  run for the Senate, in spite of the damage he has  already caused the GOP with his medically ignorant comments on rape and the future harm his presence will inflict on the party.

Honey, I shrunk the car

Obama 'weak,' say French

Even  Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys are joining the chorus criticizing Obama's weak foreign policies. Read More.

Barack Obama's Diary: Folk dancing

Dear Diary: There's not much that mine enemies won't use to denigrate my majestic self. For example they mock my using the word 'cool' which keeps me cool with the younger dudes. Now they are picking on another of my favorite words: "folks." Somebody complained about this saying: "I am not a folk."  Why do I like to use this word? Because it enables me to use the sybillant s-s-s which is a defining  part of my soaring oratory. "Folks-s-s-s..." hear how well-spoken and precise that sounds. I'm so clever I could dance.
Meantime, what about that Akin guy talking about 'legitimate rape' and that other  GOP guy confessing to skinny-dipping in the Sea of Galilee. Folk-s-s-s, with enemies like that, victory is mine [if can just get Biden to shut up until November.] With that cheerful thought I am retiring to the Presidentopedic to cuddle my adorable satin-edged blankey Boo-boo, guardian of my dreams. Barry luv Boo-boo um-num-num-um...zzzzz..


Cartoon: Eric Allie

[Cagle Cartoons]

Cheapskates for Obama

Left-leaning states are the stingiest when it comes to helping others. Of the 10 least generous states, nine voted Barack Obama for president in the last election.  More here
[Thanks BJS]

Joe arrives for lunch

 "Joe, sit down: there's a cyanide capsule  
next to your water glass"

Exposed: Occupy's communist goal

Video from inside an Occupy  DC meeting reveals a chilling truth. The Other McCain has the full story.

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]

Joe's Journal

Dear Journal: I had a lovely relaxing  weekend at home  with Jill in Wilmington. Young  Barack wants to meet me for lunch again today, only one working day after our previous lunch last Thursday. I escaped unharmed last week but I have a bad feeling that today he may take me to the woodshed. Or,  at the very least, put me back in chains, y'all, if I can't immediately tell him the day, month and  year. I just pulled a copy of the Washington Post  from a stack of newspapers in my office. It's dated January 15, 2008, so I'll  have that correct. Nyaah, nyaah, Mr "President,"  not so clever  are you...


Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: The crowds of adoring subjects at my campaign rallies are growing smaller. I'm sure it's just because they all expect me to sweep to victory in a historic landslide in November. Popularity brings its own disadvantages, like voter inertia. Maybe we should raffle a free broccoli-rich school lunch with Me and Michelle to generate some grass-roots excitement. Who could resist that? Meantime, the usual suspects are still bristling with angst about Biden. But without Hillary as a substitute I'm chained to the silly old coot. Talking of which, I'm having lunch with him tomorrow, followed by a few interviews with local news anchors who will be too awed by my majesty to ask demanding questions. If only every day were as easy. [Notice that because of my incomparable education I used the correct subjunctive 'were' rather than 'was' after 'if' --I'm so clever I could dance]

Even Newsweek says O must go

Dear Cabby: Street-smart advice

Dear Cabby: I forgot where I am scheduled to meet my limo. In fact, I'm having trouble  remembering a lot of things.  But this much I  do know: Watch out for Wall Street or they'll have y'all back in chains. -- J.B, Wilmington, Delaware.

Dear JB:  Who ya kiddin'? We say "youse" in New York, not "y'all".  As for attackin' Wall Street, fuggedaboudit. My best fares come from Wall Streeters. Widdout dem I couldn't pay da rent in dis lousy Obamaconomy. You goddam  Dems gimme da creeps, takin' da money from hardworkin' folks and givin' it to  fat-asses in da Bronx dat are  too goddam lazy to get up in da mornin' and do a day's work.  I put out a call on da radio and your limo's  waitin'  at 48th & Park.   Ten cents? You call dat a tip? Goddam tightwad VPs. -- Cabby.

Obama's dwindling attraction

"The actual level of support for the Divider-in-Chief is best reflected by his choice of speaking venues and the size of the crowds he's able to attract. As for the former, it appears the only places President Obama is welcomed with open arms are high schools and community colleges, both beneficiaries of wild amounts of stimulus spending (read: public sector union and other payoffs)" More at Doug Ross.

Cartoon: John Cole

[The Scranton Times-Tribune]

Boston Globe berates Biden

Even The  Boston Globe  has taken exception to Joe Biden's racial and cultural insensitivity. Read it all.  [Thanks BJS]

Under Obama, US Army morale plunges

 Under Commander-in-Chief  Barack Obama, US Army morale is showing some of its its lowest levels ever. The Boston Globe has details

Cartoon: Gary McCoy

[Cagle Cartoons]


Why Biden, not Ryan, is the problem

Romney and Ryan had barely stepped down from the podium after Romney  had announced his VP pick, when the first Democratic attack ad hit the air. But now, a week later, which vice presidential candidate is rocking back on his heels? Joe Biden. How can this be? Clarke Judge, writing in US News & World Report explains.
[Thanks BJS]

Hank spanks Obama

It seems that Barack Obama's lengthy courting of Iowa hasn't gained him much traction there. Following the song “We Don’t Apologize For America,” country singer Hank Williams smiled, telling the cheering state fair audience: “We’ve got a Muslim president who hates farming, hates the military, hates the US and we hate him!” Details here.

Barack Obama's Diary: Sniffing New Hampshire

Dear Diary: I got  'em! I skewered Mittman and Ryan like shrimp on a grill  today on my  campaign stops in New Hampshire. I was on fire! Being a better  speechwriter than my speechwriters, I changed their description of Ryan's budget from "trickle-down fairy dust" to "trickle-down snake oil". Oil...trickles...geddit? I'm so clever I could dance. The coup de grace [that's French for 'Grace's blow' for those unfortunate enough not to have sniffed up a line of  Grace's  superior Guatamalan cocaine] came when I proclaimed that Ryan's budget would reduce Mittman's tax to 1%. Boos came from all around. Talking of Boos, we are are back home in the White House now, and I am preparing to slide into the Presidentopedic and the embrace of the Boo who outranks all Boos, Boo-boo my blankey. Barry luv Boo-boo...um-num-num-um...zzzzz...

Joe does the math

"Do I fear Ryan's brain?  Nah, I've
survived  69 years without one"

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards Mary Hoglund, alleged to be the person filmed spitting in the face of an attendee at a Romney rally in Wisconsin.

Michelle in world record bid?

 The BBC reports that a woman  in Leicester, England, has pulled a double-decker bus 5 meters with her hair.   This has come as a complete surprise to Laughing Conservative  who understood that Michelle Obama was in New Hampshire campaigning today.

Crucifixion: Fruit of Obama's Diplomacy

Countries receiving millions of dollars from the Obama administration are allowing acts of utter barbarity to take place among their peoples. Details here.


Barack Obama's Diary: Bad day in D.C.

Dear Diary: Auugh! Someone has "leaked" the preposterous story  that Valerie Jarrett proposed to Hillary  that Hillary should consider running for VP, replacing  Joe Biden.  The rumor is that Bill liked the idea, but Hillary was worried that we might lose [as if] and  that would brand her as a loser before she could run for President in 2016.  So she declined the offer. Where do these tales come from? The Clinton camp? It's possible that they are laying false trails to keep Hillary in the spotlight while she readies for her big run in 2015.  These shenanigans have done nothing to  help or hinder my standing in the polls for the next election. Meantime I'm ready to slide in to the old Presidentopedic.  Boo-boo my blankey provided little protection  last night from Mittman and Ryan who still barge into my innocent dreams and make fun of my policies.
 A pox upon the two of them.

Cartoon: John Cole

[Scranton Times-Tribune]

Joe's Journal

Dear Journal:  At last! I finally realized who I am, when the men in dark suits and shades bundled me out  of the black limo and into a large plane which they said was heading for D.C. and I was due to have lunch  in the White House private dining room with the president. One of the Secret Service guys (for that is who they were)  muttered something about me being taken to the woodshed and they all sniggered.  It gradually dawned on me that I was not just any old vice-president but the Vice President. I discovered it was not 1998 but 2012 when I read the  day's newspapers on the plane and they reported speculation that President Obama might replace me on his ticket with with Hillary Clinton.  I was ushered into the private dining room after my arrival. Obama was perfectly cordial, though he frequently used the word y'all, combined with a knowing look. Strange man.  Soon I'm traveling to Wilmington, Delaware, to reunite with my wife  Jesse, Joan, Jill--that's her name.

Who's spreading more wealth, Mr President?

"The Obama campaign is assailing Gov. Mitt Romney for failing to release his taxes and for paying only around a 15 percent rate, but it fails to note one of the reasons for Romney’s relatively moderate payment: He donates enormous sums of tax-deductible money to charity," writes Keith  Koffler at White House Dossier.  "In fact, during a comparable period before Obama and Romney were running for president, Romney’s giving probably was at least ten times Obama’s as a percentage of their incomes, and possibly much more." Read it all.

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]


Joe's Journal: Who am I?

Dear Journal: This is Joe Biden. At least I think it is. Well... that's who I was this morning, and it's what the business cards  alongside the Crest Whitening Strips in my wallet, say. They also say I'm a Vice President ... that's  impressive... VP of Sales maybe?  Didn't little Joey of Scranton do well! And who's this whack-job named O'Bama who keeps texting me on my smartphone asking where I am. Is he Irish? Am I? And who are these guys in dark suits and shades who are following me everywhere while talking  into their wrists? They call me 'Sir' and they bundle me in and out of a humongous black Cadillac limo, with ultra-thick windows, which they refer to as 'The Beast'. Or maybe it's me they're taking about. It's all highly mysterious. But I'm  like a  bloodhound following a fresh scent and I will keep this as a journal of record and update it as the mystery unfolds.

Why O 'is not his brother's keeper'

One of President Obama’s favorite phrases is: “We are our brother’s keeper.”  Yet he has,  reportedly, not contributed anything to help out his own  impoverished brother, George. Nor, apparently, does George believe that he can turn to Barack Obama for emergency  help. Find out more.

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Barack Obama's Diary: Fateful day

Dear Diary: A busy day catching up with world events after a week of fundraising. I  had a long meeting with Hillary.  Bibi is still leaping and kicking in the starting gate wanting to take out  Iran's nukes,  we expect him to time any attack so I can't  refuse to join without looking weak just before the election. Syria is still coming apart at the seams.  "We need more smart diplomacy," I told Hillary. She replied: "Yes. It has worked so well."  Was that sarcasm in her voice? Surely not.
Next I took  poor old Joe Biden to the woodshed  private dining room for lunch. He ordered biscuits and gravy thinking he was in North Carolina/Georgia/1998  or whatever. "Unchain me! he pleaded, but I was unmoved and instead I asked the Secret Service  guys to  tighten his shackles. I am tempted to have Joe's office moved into the men's room like he was working for the TSA. The shock might help keep his feet out of his mouth.
It's good to be back in the White House sleeping in the familiar Presidentopedic with my precious blankey Boo-boo to comfort me. I think his magic is stronger than Boo-boo-two, my travel blankey.  And he will be more effective in keeping Mittman and Ryan out of my dreams. I've said a prayer to myself and  I'm ready for bed now. Barry luv Boo-boo...um-num-num-um...zzzzz... 

Joe plans his exit

 " Agreed: I'll fake another gaffe, so
that you can replace me with Hillary"

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]


Anybody there?

"I'm Joe Biden. I think."

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: It was the best of days and it was the worst of days, and I spent it basking in the adoration of my subjects as my majestic procession through the buckeye state came to a close. Meantime, Biden's been inserting  his feet in his mouth on an industrial scale. First he warned that the Wall Street wants to put African-Americans back in chains. Then he said victory for us is inevitable in North Carolina. A pity that he was speaking in Virginia. If he ever has to step into my shoes  and press the red button, will he say: " Bye-bye Russia"  or  "...Oops...sorry,  I meant Iran?"]  M. and I are back in the White House at last, having arrived  home at 10 pm from Moline, Illinois. Nobody knows the places I've seen. Soon I will say a bedtime prayer to myself and slide into the Presidentopedic and embrace my blankey, Boo-boo. Barry luv Boo-boo...um-num-num-um..zzzzzz...

Spiraling down

[From Aftermath]

You didn't brew that...

President Obama has revealed on his Iowa tour that the White House has installed a boutique brewery. Read more

Where in the world is Joe?

"I'm in Georgia, Barack,
 campaigning in Tbilisi"

Surge for Romney among young voters

A new Zogby poll is showing that over 40% of young voters now back Romney/Ryan. Details here.

Special ops group scolds Obama on leaks

Reuters reports that a group of former U.S. intelligence and Special Forces operatives is ready to launch a media campaign that "scolds President Barack Obama for taking credit for the killing of Osama bin Laden and argues that high-level leaks are endangering American lives." Read it all.


Mitt tells Obama: take your anger, hate back to Chicago

Mitt Romney  used a tough new campaign speech to personally blast the Obama campaign on Tuesday, saying comments earlier in the day from Vice President Biden are "what an angry and desperate Presidency looks like."
"Mr. President, take your campaign of division and anger and hate back to Chicago," Romney said while campaigning in Ohio.

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]