Barack Obama's Diary: A Taxing Day

Dear Diary: My glorious presidency marches on. There have been some cries of pain from the usual suspects about the Supremes declaring that the Health Care penalty is a tax and therefore constitutional, whereas I had originally claimed that it was a  penalty, not a tax. 
"Knock, knock. 
"Who's there?
"Raise who?"
"Raise everybody's taxes in the whole damned country." 
Now, that's funny, though I say so myself, and I do.
 My Chicago days sure came in handy with the Supremes. Nice court you've got there, Roberts. Wouldn't want anything to happen to it would we? Amazing what a drone visible in the sky can do.
I magnanimously bestowed two hours this afternoon upon the peons of fire-ravaged Colorado Springs and stopped for some photo ops with ash-streaked fire fighters and grateful evacuated residents. Then I reboarded Air Force One, carefully washed the grime off my hands and relaxed all the way back to back to D.C. Marv my trip director thoughtfully brought Boo-boo-two my emergency blankey and I clutched him [the blanket, I mean] and napped all the way back to D.C.  Barry, luv Boo-boo-two, um-num-num-um...zzzzz.... are we there yet?

Destroying America

"Capping off his despotic week, Obama reimposed that 27-year offshore drilling ban.
Barry's on a roll, destroying America one Executive Order at a time,"  writes  Chris Wysocki. Read it all.

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Speeding tax

Axelrod was taxed for speeding?

Leadership from behind

Michelle Malkin writes: "Did you know that President Obama has been incommunicado with Colorado’s governor for more than two weeks as the nation’s worst wildfires rage across the state? Maybe he thought we were all “doing fine.” After an embarrassing Beltway press briefing revelation about our out-of-touch White House, the administration finally decided to divert the campaigner in chief from his nationwide fundraising frenzy for a quick look-see at our devastated city on Friday. It’s “leadership from behind” you can count on...." Read it all

The Good that Roberts Did

Charles Hurt in the Washington Times:" Though he shocked many by joining the left plank on the high court, Justice Roberts. pretty much did what he was supposed to do. He finally put a boundary on how much freedom the federal government can gobble up from states and individuals under the “commerce clause” — that most specious scheme for so much federal thievery.
"Then he told President Obama and his kleptocrats in Congress that they can have their health care law, but they cannot keep lying about it. A tax is a tax and they are liars if they call it anything else. And they just stuck the crippled American taxpayer with one of the biggest, broadest, most regressive tax-hikes in history — and during a deep recession..." 

Will to win

 George Will finds  reason to be cheerful about the Supreme Court ruling: "Conservatives won a substantial victory Thursday. The physics of American politics — actions provoking reactions — continues to move the crucial debate, about the nature of the American regime, toward conservatism. Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. has served this cause. Read it all.


Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: Nyaaa... nyaaa...Told you so.  Ye of little faith out there. Who's the greatest of them all? Ba-rack, Ba-rack! First I came  for your body.   After my inevitable landslide victory in November, I will come  for your  capitalist soul. Watch in wonder, flyovers,  as Barack The Mighty brings you the blessings of  collective  farming and -- for the inevitable Conservative dissidents -- exile to labor camps in the Alaskan tundra, there to repent of your wickedness,  chop wood, eat gruel and grow turnips.  That means you, Boehner.  Palin, you  can shoot moose for the inmates. Long live the revolution!
 I will admit  to a  brief moment of doubt when the ruling emerged. I had the cable news channels on multiple monitors and they all fumbled for a while. I was on pins and needles. Silly, me. Of course the overwhelming power of my reasoning defeated any attempts to deflect my will. Even Roberts bowed to my mighty intellect. Cup Holder had a difficult day and -- lacking my  supreme self confidence -- he fumbled his response to being held in contempt.  No  matter, we can fudge it until after November when I can be more flexible. Despite having Boo-boo my blankey, held close, last night I slept fitfully. Now I will say a prayer of thanks to myself, slide into the Presidentopedic and sleep the easy sleep of the glorious victor.  Yikes! is that Mitt I see before me, his  dagger pointed at my  breast. No, it's that damned Portuguese  waterdog  climbing onto the bed.  Where's my blankey, Boo-boo?  Barry luv Boo-boo... um-num-num-um...zzzzz...

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]


"We own American's bodies. Forward to the Affordable Souls Act."

Plan B

"Eric,  if you're held in contempt,  we'll go with
Plan B: kinetic military action in Syria"

Obamacare stands

The Supreme Court has largely let Obamacare  stand. Mitt Romney is pledged to undo it if elected. More detail here.


Cartoon: Eric Allie

[Cagle Cartoons]

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary:  I arose late, after yesterday's campaign exertions, received the usual  presidential briefing and then proceeded to lunch in the private dining room with Crown Prince Mohammed Bin Zayed of  Abu Dhabi. After that, a fund raiser at the Jefferson Hotel, followed by my Congressional picnic. Awkwaard, with Holder and his contempt of Congress nemesis, Darryl Issa, both  attending. Maybe I should have asked my golf buddy, chef Sam Kass to  arrange for Issa to have a burned burger on a stale bun. There have been two elephants in the room all day, one is  the Supreme Court health care ruling due tomorrow. I have planned with Axelrod, Jarrett and others how we'll spin  the possible outcomes. The other elephant  is Holder's contempt of Congress hearing.   I called Eric Holder to remind him  that sufficient  unto the day is the Issa thereof. Judging by his strangled response, it didn't help. I'll be relying heavily on the soothing touch of my  blankey, Boo-boo, to  have a  night of deep sleep, so that my formidable intellect is in perfect  shape to cope with the  vicissitudes of tomorrow. I will now say a prayer to myself, then slide into the Presidentopedic and enjoy the protective embrace of Boo-boo. Auugggh! Is that Issa I see before me, his dagger toward my heart? No, thank God,  it's Bo the dog.  Barry luv Boo-boo, um-num-num-um...zzzzz... 

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]

Obama feels the Heat

Barack Obama congratulated Miami,  home to the  Miami Heat, on  its  "Heats" winning the NBA championship.  He must be feeling the pressure: that's a weird gaffe from a  man who likes to be known as a basketball fan. More.


Cartoon: Eric Allie

[Cagle Cartoons]

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: What a day! I began with a flight out of Boston to fundraisers in Atlanta, and then Miami. Finally I flew home, arriving after midnight. Michelle is  already asleep in the Presidentopedic and I am in splendid solitude with only the occasional soft footfall of  a Secret Service agent in the corridors outside the private apartment. It  is good to be away from clamoring crowds. My cheeks still ache from flashing continual grins at adoring throngs who have paid big bucks just to see my historic visage. On multi-city tours like this, my Trip Director and golf buddy Marvelous Marv is invaluable: Dude makes sure I don't often  say "It's great to be back in Atlanta" when it's Miami. Awkwaard. It's only two days until SCOTUS delivers its Health Care ruling and the Fast and Furious battle is escalating. I try to project calmness while inside I'm, like,  Auuuggh!  But all great leaders --  among whose number  I am  proudly one -- face such moments of tribulation. I will now say a quick prayer to Myself and slip gently into the Presidentopedic alongside Michelle, pull Boo-Boo, my blankey, from under my  pillow, nuzzle his satin edge   and sleep the sleep that only the  innocent and exhausted know. Barry luv Boo-boo, um-num-num-um...zzzzz..

Cartoon: Gary McCoy

[Cagle Cartoons]

Man eats dog

A drug-crazed man  in Waco, Texas,  is reported to have chased a neighbor while growling like an animal, then to have killed and eaten a  dog.  Laughing Conservative has not been able to confirm  any reports that Barack Obama was  not seen in the vicinity.

Issa directly accuses Obama

Rep. Darrell Issa has escalated the legal war over Fast and Furious, directly accusing President Barack Obama of either abusing his power by withholding information or having his aides conspire with Justice Department officials to manage the aftermath of the failed ATF gun-walking program. Read more.

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]


Hillary's hidden ties to Egypt

The Joshua Pundit has some interesting speculation about Huma Amedin, the  beautiful wife of the notorious Anthony Wiener and her ties both to Hillary Clinton and the Muslim Brotherhood. Read and draw your own conclusion.

Bibi bites back

" Vlad, you think Obama's a problem? I have
 to deal with him every day"

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: As I recorded earlier on these historic pages, at the G20 meeting  in Mexico, I told the  Europeans to hurry up  and  fix their economies. Now, the German  Finance Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble has publicly scolded me, saying  that I should fix the US economy first, adding:  "People are always very quick at giving others advice."  That impudent woman  Chancellor Merkel is behind this, I'm sure. 
Talking of impudent women, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer's immigration law has squeaked through the Supreme Court.  I'll  have to wait for Thursday for the Supremes  to announce their health care findings. And there is also the possibility of  Holder being held in contempt of Congress. Yikes... and the week has just  begun.  I spent most of  today  fund raising in New England. Marv, my trip director, has placed Boo-boo my blankey  next to my blue jammies. I will now climb into bed, and grab Boo-boo, Barry luv Boo-boo, um-num-num-um..zzzzz...


Slow and curious

"Fast and Furious?
We don't recall it"

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary:   A delightful day of calm amid the Sturm und Drang [German for 'turmoil' that  I picked up from Angela Merkel at the G20 meeting in Mexico.] Such phrases are very useful when I want to sound erudite among the elite, like George Clooney and Sarah Jessica.  Where was I? Oh yes, the day of calm. I went  golfing at Fort Belvoir with chef Sam Kass, Marv my trip director and aide Mike Brush [whom I nickname 'tooth' as in 'tooth'brush. Like 'Cup' Holder, these whimsicalities are a subtle way to remind people that I may be a golf  buddy but I'm still the Boss. Very clever, if I say so myself... and I do. After golf I called Cairo to congratulate Mohammed Morsi, the new Egyptian president, and to sing Kumbaya to him, in my best Al Green style. It pays to be conciliatory to the Islamists or they can get really, really petulant like the Taliban. 
Meantime,  I am trying to keep my spirits high up in the face of a turbulent week with SCOTUS ruling on health care and the GOP sharks circling Fast and Furious. "Si Su puede," I  keep telling  myself, as I told Latinos in Florida:Yes we can.   I have tucked up Michelle in the Presidepedic and I will now say a brief prayer to Myself  asking that I be  mentally nimble this week.  Then I will pull Boo-boo my blankey out from   beneath  my pillow and rub my lips with his satin edge. I have had a recurrence of nightmares with  Ann Romney measuring the Oval Office for drapes. Barry luv Boo-boo  who  keeps bad dreams away, don't  you Boo-boo, um-num-num-um...zzzzz...

Cartoon: Christopher Weyant

[The Hill]


Barack Obama's Diary

Dear  Diary: Team Obama are on top of their game. First of all  -- in case the House doesn't buy the Executive Privilege maneuver ---  Holder had the brilliant idea of telling Congress that Bo ate the critical  Fast and Furious papers. Then -- not to be outdone in the Brilliance Stakes --  my campaign staff produced the idea of an Obama Gift Registry where, instead of giving  someone a gift, people send  a card saying the gift money has gone to my campaign. Imagine how grateful the recipients will be to  play a part in the historic re-election of The Most Innovative President of Our Time.  Imagine being unwell and receiving a card saying:  " I hope you get well soon-- instead of  buying flowers I sent the money to the Obama campaign." Democrats will  instantly feel much better. Republicans not so much.
 Today, being Saturday, was Golf With Biden Day and the weather was perfect: sunny and cooler.  Between holes I approved some Waziristan drone strikes via my encrypted cellphone. As I have said before, I love to multi task. I'm going to watch Storage Wars on the DVR now  [ I'm like Dave Hester, the smartest guy among the storage lockers.  Biden is like Barry Weiss, affable, but accident prone.] Then I plan  go  to bed early, ready for a quiet day tomorrow before a demanding week with the Supreme Court  health care  ruling expected, among other awkward events.  Meantime, buenos nachosamigos. Yum. Nice cheese.

Cartoon: Randall Enos

[Cagle Cartoons]

Obama's Plan B

"Hey, Bibi. I need a war, fast.
You still want to bomb Iran?"  

What's sad about gays

 Like many people, I don't think we know enough about the origins of  homosexuality to  enable us to judge others [other than on religious grounds]  on what they do in private. What I, and many others, have trouble with is "gays"  publicly promoting  their  lifestyle, in infantile  and disrespectful  ways, and then complaining about  being stereotyped. Obama chose naively to invite  "gays" to a White House reception. Result: instead of celebrating their inclusion, some had themselves photographed flipping the bird at a portrait of Ronald Reagan.  If you want respect, grow up and earn it.

Barack Obama's Diary [Part2]

Dear Diary: As promised, here's the second half of today's entry. I filled the Orlando hall with soaring rhetoric,  about this being the land of equal opportunity, but was disappointed that I did not get the ecstatic applause I expect from peons. It turned out that the Secret Service  in a fit of zealousness had  refused to let the audience keep knives and forks to  finish their  lunch, lest they show their appreciation of me  by stabbing me with the aforesaid  eating untensils.  I'll  now  have to let another tranche of illegals stay, in order to win  back Latino votes in November. I'm exhausted, time to slide into the Presidepedic and  surrender to the reassuring caress of my blankey, Boo-boo. Buenos noches Boo-boo.. Barry luv Boo-boo....um-num-num-um...zzzzz...


Breaking: Sandusky guilty on all but three counts

Late night verdict: Jury finds Jerry Sandusky guilty on all but three of 48 counts.  Bail has been revoked and he is being taken to jail. More here.

The Dung Beetle award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards the gay activists who gave a Reagan portrait the middle finger while they were guests at the first  first gay pride reception at the White House. So juvenile, so sad, so utterly  predictable. More here.

Cartoon: Glenn McCoy

Headline of the Week...

-- Da Tech Guy blog  See here

Barack Obama's Diary [part1]

Dear Diary:   My trip director, Marv, had me ready early for a motorcade to Andrews and  Air Force One for a flight to Florida to speak at a meeting of prominent  Latinos. I was polishing my speech when an urgent call came in  from Cup Holder, who was in state of  high excitement. " I think I may have a way out of the Fast and Furious impasse," he said, his voice trembling.
" And what would that be, Cup?" I inquired.
"Barack,"  he said, "you know that annoying blog, White House Dossier?"  "Yes, Cup," I replied patiently. "Well,  you know how Keith Koffler has a satirical quote every day?  Today he has quoted you as saying that Bo had eaten all the crucial F&F papers. That's the perfect  answer if  the GOP sharks keep circling."
"Hmmm," I said, "Good thinking, Cup. The dog excuse worked  great for me at  Harvard. Let's keep it as Plan B, should Boehner  develop the cojones to pursue F&F further."  [cojones= testicles, I know this from  polishing my Orlando speech where they are sure to praise  the vast size of my cojones in suspending enforcement  of  some immigration law]  Meantime, Hasta la vista,  future historians,  I will finish this  Diary entry after I  return to the W.H. tonight. [To be continued...]

Obama Orlmighty

  The mischievous Granny Jan at  her best: 

Child rapist disemboweled

Prisoner Michael Parr, has admitted disemboweling and murdering Mitchell Harrison, who was serving an indefinite sentence at Durham, England,  for raping a 13-year-old girl.
If Jerry Sandusky were convicted, Parr would make  the ideal cellmate.  Read more.

Cartoon: John Cole

[Scranton Times Tribune]


Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: A quiet day apart from a few nervous calls from Cup Holder who is feeling the heat, not because it's 95 degrees in D.C. but he's scared that the Executive  Privilege I invoked  won't hold. "Who would dare defy me?"  I asked Cup, "I'm leader of  the Free World."
"Issa and Boehner? " asked Cup, his voice quavering. " Man up, Cup," I responded."don't let them sense that you're nervous."
The Biden stopped by for lunch and I regaled him with tales of my humiliations of Putin at Los Cabos. "Bravo Barack!" quoth The Biden.
 Boo-boo, my blankey is freshly laundered and his satin edging smells of fabric softener. I am going to slide into the Presidepedic now, after a brief prayer to  MySelf.  Caress me with your satin edge, Boo-boo... Barry luv Boo-boo...Um-num-num-um... zzzzzzz...

Everything Team Obama needs to know was taught by Watergate

"Obama’s henchmen seem to have believed they could stonewall Congress and dishonestly deny knowledge of basic facts in the “Fast and Furious” scandal, and never have to face the music. Once congressional committees start subpoenaing documents and questioning witnesses under oath, what would in other contexts be mere lies become potential crimes." Robert Stacy McCain on the lessons Team Obama failed to learn from Watergate. Read it all.

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

Today's Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards all those Democrats, like strategist Tamara Holder, who self-righteously debate MurderGate without even being able to remember the name of murdered border agent Brian Terry.

Three Amigos

Eric Withholder

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]


Liberal logic

[From: Liberal Logic]

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: I  returned from  Mexico after Putin Vlad in his place (putting / Putin, geddit?) to find  'Cup' Holder had run out of options and was completely  cornered by the  House  panel. We immediately switched to Plan B -- which required me to invoke Executive Privilege. Darrell Issa and the other ravening GOPers, having smelled blood, are not going to be easily deterred.  Dudes seem to think  I knew about F&F from the start. Totally illogical. How could I know about something I  didn't know about?  Even if I did? The  crude reasoning of ordinary minds is difficult for a refined intellect like mine to  follow.
Long-story-short,  Team Issa are determined to provoke a constitutional crisis. Bring it on, dudes. I'm a brilliant Harvard  constitutional  scholar, and Chicago  community organizer, so don't mess with me. 
That aside, it's  good to be back home and I'm ready to slide into the familiar Presidepedic alongside Michelle.
Oh, I forgot to mention, when Marv my trip director was unpacking my bags from Los Cabos he found a tablespoon of stale, crushed Russian caviar inside Boo-boo, my blankey, with a note saying "Wussie!" That goddam Putin again. Marv has put my emergency blankey, Boo-boo-Two under my pillow while Boo-boo is laundered. Barry luv Boo-boo-Two as much as Boo-boo and --unlike Issa and Putin-- both  Boo-boos respect my dignity...um-num-num-um...zzzzz..

The birth of MurderGate

The excellent Katie Pavlich at Town Hall  today names the fast-evolving  Fast and Furious scandal,  which involved the death of border agent Brian Terry,  'MurderGate' --  a name which we predict has legs. Read it all

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards MSNBC anchor Chris Matthews  for sliming the House GOP investigating Eric Holder as racist, insisting that the possible contempt charges over Fast and Furious had an "ethnic" feel. Matthews railed: "Is this sort of stop-and-frisk at the highest level? Go after the attorney general, get him to empty his pockets, stand in the spotlight." More here

Constitutional crisis as Holder is held in contempt

A House panel voted Wednesday to place Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt of Congress for his failure to comply with a subpoena, defying an assertion of executive privilege from President Obama.  There is speculation that executive privilege was  invoked to conceal evidence  that Obama knew about F&F. More here

Farage rips Eurocrat as a 'deluded idiot'

The incomparable Nigel  Farage  explains the Euro crisis to  a Fox interviewer.

Crisis in Congress as Obama intervenes

President Obama has intervened over Fast and Furious by declaring the documentation is protected by executive privilege. But the GOP is still pursuing contempt charges against Attorney General Eric Holder. The situation is  rapidly  devolving into  a Constitutional crisis.   More here

Holder showdown: Obama acts

President Obama has granted an 11th-hour request by Attorney General Eric Holder to exert executive privilege over Fast and Furious documents, a last-minute maneuver that appears unlikely to head off a contempt vote against Holder by Republicans. Read more.

Cartoon: Eric Allie

[Cagle Cartoons]


Cartoon: R.J. Matson

[Cagle Cartoons]

Rubio still in the running

Contrary to  suggestions from "unnamed sources," Marco Rubio is being vetted as a running mate for Romney. They would make a formidable pair. More here.

Cartoon: Brian Fairrington

[Cagle Cartoons]

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[Columbus Daily Dispatch]

Barack Obama's Diary

 Scary Putin breaks the surface
Dear Diary: I wrote here yesterday that I would get back at Vlad Putin for mocking me. And so I did.  Today I decisively approached the British  PM  David Cameron here in Los Cabos  and begged  directed  him to  get the British insurers to  cancel coverage  of the Russian  ship carrying attack helicopters to Syria. Under  my decisive direction Cameron did  this and as as a direct  result of my actions  the ship now cannot enter any port.  Los Cabos has extensive swimming pools and I ventured forth to them knowing that I would find Vlad  waist-deep in the water at the pool's edge, in front of a battery of  cameras, stomach sucked in, chest puffed out.  I sat  down at the side of the pool, my feet in the water. "Good day, Obaba, " he said. " Yes,  it is  indeed a good day, Vlad,"  I replied, with a sly smile, "under  my direction the British have stopped your shipload of attack helicopters bound for  Syria."   His eyes narrowed and he ducked beneath the surface to escape my withering gaze. I barely had time to enjoy my moment of victory, when both my ankles were seized in a vise-like grip and I was pulled suddenly and  viciously into the water. One of my  Secret Service agents  plunged fully-clothed into the pool beside me. Putin broke the surface of the water and said:   "Obaba, you're  a pathetic wuss," and swam powerfully  away.
I waved my fist at him. " Damn you, Putin !" I yelled. " Now you've really got my dander up.'" His face turned pale with fear. 
Later, after an hour-long speech, I  persuaded the Europeans to agree to give more financial aid to Spain and Italy. Afterwards  I overheard Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany, say to  Francois Hollande of France: "It was well worth a  couple of billion Euros just to make him stop." The ingratitude! You could have knocked me over with a feather. I ate some mango and ceviche then made my excuses and left before Putin could bait me again.
Well, it's sleepy time now and I am about to climb into bed, there to cuddle Boo-boo my blankey. Barry luv Boo-boo um-num-num-um ...zzzzzzz... 

The Dung Beetle award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards an Occupy Oakland group who, incredibly, objected to a meeting  that was against child sex trafficking. More details.


Barack Obama's Diary: Eye to Eye with Putin

Dear Diary: Here I am at Los Cabos,  Mexico, for the G20 summit. This morning after a courtesy  meeting with Mexican President Calderon, came the  really meaty business of the day: a  long session with Vlad the Impaler. I had been  suckered  into  the excruciating  Putin 'crusher' handshake  before, so I bumped fists, which  Vlad liked because he thinks he's cool. As if.  Then we sat down with our interpreters and he launched into a joke about 'live' microphones. Hardy, har, har. He  glared at me and we  engaged in  the usual game of chicken over who would look  away first.  " Vladimir," I said slowly and menacingly,"why are you moving  your Black Sea Fleet to Syria? His battleship-grey eyes bored into mine.  "What  business is that of yours, Obaba?" he asked. I looked  down, expecting to see  a poisoned knife blade protruding from his shoe. [I've seen "From Russia with Love" and those Ruskies can't fool me.] As I look down I realize I have broken eye contact. I look up to see him smiling in that superior manner of his. Obaba? The impertinence of the man! "Boo!" he shouted -- without warning-- and I  jumped right out of my chair.
"Call yourself a President?"  he scoffed. "You're just  an elitist  wuss."
Wuss? You could have knocked me over with a feather: How dare he mock Me, a  shining intellect that illuminates the World. Tomorrow I will terrify him by saying  that he has made me really, really annoyed.  It's sleepy time and  Boo-boo  my  blankey awaits. Barry luv Boo-boo and you'll  never frighten  Barry, will  you Boo-boo?..um-num-num-um...zzzzzz...

Ballad of the leaks

Israeli satirists needle the Obama Administration over leaks said to have imperiled key US and allied agents [h/t Yid with Lid]


Obama 'most subversive president' since Nixon

Historian Victor Davis Hanson: "If one individual can decide to exempt nearly a million residents from the law — when he most certainly could not get the law amended or repealed through proper legislative or judicial action — then what can he not do? Obama is turning out to be the most subversive chief executive in terms of eroding U.S. law since Richard Nixon." Read it all

Rubio shows hints of greatness

Evening News with Brine Williams

 BW: Good evening everyone. I'm Brine Williams. First we look at the turmoil in Greece: Here's Michelle Porsche-Carrera in Athens: 
MP-C:  Good evening, Brine.  The world is watching as Greeks finish counting  votes in their crucial election.  So far, exit polls  show the two main parties neck-and-neck. Whatever the final result, it looks like dark  clouds of uncertainty over Greece and the  Euro won't be going away soon, Brine, and I'll likely  be stuck reporting from  this primitive hellhole for several weeks to come.
BW: Thanks as always, Michelle. Now for the latest on President Obama's executive order to  suspend  the deportation  of young illegal immigrants. Here's our Chief White House correspondent,  Chuck Plod.
CP: Good evening Brian, [cut to Mariachi band] Latinos are celebrating Obama's courageous   and  ingenious move  to sidestep Congress and enact part of  the DREAM Act by executive order   [cut to Obama saying :  "Because it''s the right thing to do."]  The reaction from illegal immigrants was widespread jublilation  [cut to weeping Latino girl saying "Gringos, I am so happy!"]  
BW:  Very touching. Thank you, Chuck , as always.  Now  to the continuing  bloodshed in Syria. Our chief foreign correspondent Richard Angel is right on the spot  in Cairo, only 370 miles away, where he's been keeping  us abreast of   the  growing civil war  by  reading AP reports from Lebanon. 
RA: That's right, Brine. Blood is still being shed, as  Bahir al-Assad's forces continue to target civilians [cut to file footage of shells hitting Homs and rows of shroud-wrapped bodies]
meantime Russia continues to ship attack helicopters to Damascus, while  Russian President Vladimir Putin laughs off  ineffectual  and feeble warnings from President Obama....
BW: I'm sorry we seem to have lost sound from Cairo. That's it for this evening, thanks for  watching and we hope to see you here same time tomorrow evening. I'm Brine Williams. 


Obama biggest government spender in world history

"The President's... whole mission is to transform the U.S. not into a Big Government country, but a Huge Government country, because only a country run by a Huge Government can be satisfactorily controlled by superior, all wise and beneficent individuals like himself.  That is why he is at minimum a Swedish socialist, if not worse..."  [Peter Ferrara writing  in Forbes]  Read it all.

King Barack the First

"Mitt, I've annulled the Constitution by 
executive order.  You can call me ' Majesty' "

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary:  Oh My, haven't the GOP got their panties  in a bunch? I use a decree executive order to outmaneuver them over the DREAM Act  and they react as if I am become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds [that's a quote from an ancient Hindu scripture, the Baghavad-Gita, for those without the benefit of a superior education such as mine and the rigorous  intellect to make maximum use of it.]  I know what is best for this country and I won't let flyovers stand  in the way with "We the People"  faux outrage. I'm the President, so get over it, people. Coercion is sometimes needed when the common herd can't see what best for them. In this case what's best for them  is that I stay in power and get the maximum number of Latino votes. I was hoping  Joe would appear for our customary Saturday golf but  I think he is still sulking about my portraying him like a  blue collar miner, carrying a lunch bucket. I think that is admirably vivid, myself.  It's been an exhausting week, with all the executive orders I'm having to issue.  I'm calling it a day now, saying a prayer to myself and sliding into bed alongside M. I will pull Boo-boo my Blankey from under my pillow and drift off to sleep thinking of my  handsome profile on Mount Rushmore... Barry luv Boo-boo...um-num-num-um..zzzzz...

Obama 'lurching toward tyranny'

"Obama's government is the biggest violator of law in our history. His very methods of governing, bypassing Congress's constitutional authority to make law, actually show contempt for the Constitution and the American rule of law..."  Mark Fitzgibbons believes that  Obama  is lurching towards tyranny. More here

A blog to savor

We were alerted to a charming, must-read blog written by a 9-year-old British  schoolgirl reviewing  her school lunches. She gets millions of hits and school lunch reviews from from all over the world and when local officials stopped her photographing her meals there was such an uproar that they immediately reversed their decision. She has raised around $50,000 for  a  charity that feeds children in Africa.  Read her blog here


Blue collar Joe

" Me, bitter? While you shared our message  with 
Sarah Jessica,  I  was more than pleased  to share it with the late shift at a coal mine"

Obama to gays: I'm your guy

President Barack Obama promised a roomful of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender activists on Friday that he would be their "advocate" as long as he is in the White House.  And here we were, thinking Presidents already were advocates for  all Americans.

Barack Obama's Diary: Rose Garden edition

Dear Diary: Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather. I was in the Rose Garden, announcing  my edict  amnesty   directive deferred action to shield young  illegals from being deported, when one of the media hacks in the audience interrupts me, yesinterrupts me with a question about how this might affect our current unemployed (who are doing just fine). What is the world coming to when someone as low in the food chain as the algae which  will one day power this nation, dares interrupt Me.  Oh, how I wish I could have replied "Off with his head!" [the Queen of Hearts knew a thing or two about staying in power.]
But, incredibly, that was not the end of today's tribulations. Next thing I hear is that  Joe Biden has gone bat-shit crazy at a mayors' conference  in Orlando. The geezer said he did not have a blue-collar background and that 'Barack'  made him sound like he had just emerged from a mine carrying a lunch bucket. The impertinence of the old dude. If I decree  that someone is blue collar,  then they damn well are blue collar. [Note to self: talk to Axelrod and Jarrett  again about dropping that knucklehead from  November's ticket, there's  very little time left.]   Meantime 'Cup' Holder is still having a rough ride in Congress. I must call him in the morning to re-assure him that his pardon is signed and ready for the remote event that I am not re-elected in a landslide. I have already  tucked up Michelle  in the presidential Tempurpedic. She's  still starry-eyed from  yesterday's celebrity-studded evening.  Now I will say a last prayer to myself, and tuck Myself up with Boo-boo my blankey... Barry luv Boo-boo...um-num-num-um...zzzz..

My family weren't blue collar, says Biden

"My dad never wore a blue collar, Barack makes me sound like I just climbed out of a mine in Scranton, Pennsylvania carrying a lunch bucket," Vice President Joe Biden told a conference of U.S. mayors in Orlando, "No-one in my family ever worked in a factory."

Obama shields 800,000 illegals

The Obama administration announced Friday it will stop deporting illegal immigrants who come to the country at a young age.  The move is expected to protect some 800,000 from deportation. More here.


Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: A day fit for a king  president! After my morning briefing I was flown aboard Airforce One to Cleveland, where I delivered some remarks on the economy (doing fine. Or maybe not). Then it was back on board my trusty 747 for a nap on the way to New York and a tour of the new World Trade Center site. How gloriously fitting it would be if it were named 'The Obama Tower,' a name that would unite the nation in gratitude for my presidency. [Note to self: drop hint to Bloomberg] . Anyhow, after the trade center I  braved the uncouth imprecations of angry cabdrivers stuck in the traffic jam our motorcade created-- to bestow myself upon  the brownstone  home of Sarah Jessica Parker, for a fundraiser hosted jointly  by Sarah and Vogue editor Anna Wintour who is said to be angling for the US ambassadorship to London where she was raised. The   complications of an ambassador with a British accent representing the US in Britain are difficult to untangle -- even for an intellect as formidable as mine -- but I always  enjoy my time among fawning acolytes, if acolytes can fawn, if not, then I hereby decree that they can. Then I was whisked away from the glitterati to the opulence of The Plaza for yet another fundraiser with Mariah Carey. After which I boarded AF1 again for the flight to DC. I  have commanded that  the plane land gently at Andrews, while I continue  sleeping on board, only  showering and disembarking in the morning, which is why  I am writing this diary entry now. Time to curl  up with Boo-booTwo, my emergency blankey, which Marv, my trip director, packs for such situations. Barry luv Boo-booTwo, um-num-num-um-zzzzz...

Dung Beetle Award goes to...

This Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards Chris Matthews of Hardball infamy for ridiculing Ann Romney for owning a horse that will be in the U.S. dressage team at the London Olympics. She took up horseback riding to help with her multiple sclerosis symptoms and has done remarkably well for a late starter. Ann Romney is co-owner of the horse with her dressage trainer. More at Newsy.com


Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The  Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled toward members of the Chicago Teachers Union  who are threatening to strike in pursuit of a 30% pay increase. The teachers already earn $71,000 a year before benefits.  More details here.

Farage: the new Churchill

Nigel Farage, a British Member of the European Parliament, has been predicting the  Euro crisis for years, just as Winston Churchill warned in vain  of the threat of the Nazis. Like Churchill, Farage is a compelling, and vivid public speaker. We are huge fans of his. Here he relishes the moment  of seeing all that he has tirelessly predicted come true. To see another,  earlier, classic Farage tour de force, click on "Hall of Fame" in our navigation bar and scroll down towards the base of the page.

Is legalizing weed Obama's secret weapon?

Elspeth Reeve, a writer at Atlantic Wire, thinks an Obama  promise to legalize pot  could motivate younger voters . Details here.

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: The usual suspects are snapping at my heels again, this time for  being disingenuous.  Me? Lie? That's just offensive.  
I may occasionally have been somewhat economical with the truth, but clearly great men must sometimes withhold certain information from the common herd. Talking of which, things are getting uncomfortably hot in Congress for my pal  Eric Holder whom I  nickname "Cup."  Last I heard,  Cup Holder was negotiating with the Republicans over the possible release of additional DoJ documents.  
I had another fundraiser today, at the 'W' hotel in Washington. The name, at first, gave me cause for concern. I feared  that it may honor Dubya who, as  everybody knows, is  clearly clearly responsible for all ills that have befallen my  illustrious regime. Now I think about it, 'O' would make a fine name for a hotel if  it were grand enough to reflect my  immortal achievements. I'll get Axelrod to see if we have any large donors in the hospitality industry who would be receptive to this brilliant idea.
I have already tucked up Michelle, as is my habit, and after a quick prayer to Myself I will also now slide into the Presidential Tempurpedic and fondle the satin edging of my blankey, Boo-boo. Barry luv Boo-boo um-num-num-um....zzzzz...

Securitygate: Why an independent inquiry is vital

Historian Richard Davis Hanson: "Securitygate has Nixonian trademarks all over it and is far more injurious to the republic than all the previous Obama-era scandals combined. Attorney General Holder simply cannot select an attorney to investigate key players in the administration who was both a recent appointee of Obama and a campaign contributor to and political supporter of him. That too will not stand, and whether now or later, Holder is going to have to wise up, and understand that someone completely outside the administration’s and his own sphere is going to have to adjudicate whether key officials deliberately fed classified information to favored court reporters in expectation that they would massage their resulting narratives to emphasize Obama as a decisive, near-heroic leader during his reelection bid in a tight race..." Read it all

Barack Pinocchio

Michael Ramirez is not only visually brilliant, but his cartoons for Investors Business Daily distill the issues of the day better than most written political commentators. We don't use cartoons for which we haven't paid syndication rights, except when they are themselves news, as in this cartoon ridiculing Obama as a serial liar...

[Investors Business Daily]

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]


Syrian activists ask Obama: Are you stupid, or just acting?

Protesters ridicule Obama's search for a diplomatic solution in Syria: "Are you stupid or just acting stupid? More here

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: Quel jour!  ['what a day!' for those not privileged enough to have acquired some French.] I managed six fundraisers in Maryland and Pennsylvania. My subjects, how they adore me!  Meanwhile I am surrounded in the White House by those who indulge in wailing and gnashing of teeth at every setback. They forget that my re-election is inevitable. My Commerce Secretary,  whose name escapes me --Bronson, I think -- had a brush with the law at the weekend. We  have put out a standard  "our thoughts are with him and  his family at this difficult time" statement and are hoping for the best. Meantime that daggone Vlad the Impaler is sending attack helicopters to Syria... despite the fact that I have already made it clear to him that I'm really, really annoyed about his support for Assad. Why won't such people respond  to my ultra-smart diplomacy? I arrived  home from Philadelphia very late and, having tucked up M., I am ready for bed  myself and the soothing charms of Boo-boo, my blankey. Barry luv Boo-boo... um-num-num-um...zzzzz...

The implosion of the Left

Historian Victor Davis Hanson: "...the hard-Left takeover of the Democratic Party has meant that there is no longer a credible balance in our system, as almost all the tenets of contemporary left-wing ideology are blowing up, imploding super nova style — unsustainable ideas that are contrary to human nature and demand coercion for their implementation, given that they are increasingly anti-democratic and have to be implemented from high by an elite technocracy whether in Brussels, Sacramento, or Washington...." Don't miss  the rest of this compelling argument.
[Thanks BJS]

Smart diplomacy's deadly fruit

More fruit of  Obama's smart diplomacy: Russia is  now sending attack helicopters to the Assad regime,  the  better to slaughter the civilians of Syria. More here

Obama's nightmare deepens

 Dana Milbank in The Washington Post: "...Job growth has stalled, the Democrats have been humiliated in Wisconsin, the attorney general is facing a contempt-of-Congress citation, talks with Pakistan have broken down, Bill Clinton is contradicting Obama, Mitt Romney is outraising him, Democrats and Republicans alike are complaining about a “cascade” of national-security leaks from his administration, and he is now on record as saying that the “private sector is doing fine.” Could get any worse? Early Monday morning, Obama learned that it could... " Read it all.

Cartoon: Daryl Cagle

[Cagle Cartoons]


Fast and Curious

[from Aftermath]

Easy Street in UK prisons

Gordon Ramsay, the chef, has criticised the level of comfort provided in Britain’s prisons after teaching inmates to cook for a new television series. Among his complaints: prisoners have  a choice of five meals for dinner, unlimited TV,  XBox and DVDs.  Read it all

Barack Obama's Diary

 Dear Diary:  I had hoped for a  round  of golf at Andrews today, but it was not to be. My staff often remind me that Andrews Air Force base is now called "Joint  Base Andrews," but  after the recent fuss over my weed-smoking days in Hawaii, Axelrod now  rightly deems  it wise  for me never again  to utter the word "Joint." 
I had scheduled a lunch with  Joe Biden last  Friday. But the geezer turned up for breakfast instead. It really is time for me to talk to him about staying on the ticket. 
The fuss about  me saying the economy is 'fine'  will not die down, despite Carney's sterling  efforts to silence the media hacks. But at least M. has apparently forgiven  me for my joke  in L.A. about her push-ups not 'going all the way down.' 
There has been pressure on me to say what plans I have for the nation when I am  re-elected in November's historic landslide. What I would like to do, of course, is to reword  the Constitution, so it says  citizens have the Wrong to bear arms.  In spite of the enthusiasm my core supporters would have for this, I daren't  foreshadow it. The flyovers would bust a gut and then some. 
Well, I have already tucked up M. and after a quick prayer to Myself I will, Myself, retire to the Presidential Posturepedic,  there to enjoy the soothing delights of Boo-boo, my blankey. Barry luv Boo-boo um-num-num...zzzzz

Cartoon: Larry Wright

[The Detroit News]

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: Another difficult day. Once those GOP attack dogs sink their teeth in, they are like pitbulls. OK... OK I get it. The economy  sucks.  I have admitted as much,  but still they won't back off. Tonight I saw an ad that made me choke on my organically-raised chicken. I had me saying the private sector  is doing fine followed by a group  of bitter flyovers  talking  about the jobs they lost. This  is plain misleading. I have said that the economy isn't fine but is regaining  momentum.  We need something new to distract the hordes, maybe I can persuade Joe to commit another juicy gaffe. Or maybe I should use an unannounced drone  strike to provoke Hamed Karzai  into a passionate ouburst.  I forgot my prayer to myself last night which may explain the increasing number of challenges that confronted me today. So I shall pray to myself tonight and then settle in to sleep with Boo-boo my blankey, whose satin touch Barry luvs... um-num-num-um .


The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards Greta Hawkins,  a  Coney Island school principal, who forbade the  singing of  "God Bless America" in a moving-up ceremony, allegedly claiming it "might offend other cultures" More here.

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: With the private sector now doing fine, I was able to enjoy a leisurely round of golf on the links at Fort Belvoir with staffers Brush,  Nicholson, and Paulson. Between holes I approved a hit by a drone in northern Waziristan, eliminating one of the subjects on my kill list. I love to multitask. One of the group of historians I have occasionally asked to dinner to reassure me of my immortal place in the history of these United States, has been ratting on me anonymously, accusing me of conceit and hubris. Given my extraordinary talent and abilities, what else am I supposed to do: be humble and self-effacing?  Get real. George Clooney told me  an old Hollywood aphorism: "If you've got it,  flaunt it."  M. has warmed slightly towards me today after that unfortunate joke in LA about her not 'going down all the way'. She even allowed me to tuck her up tonight, as is my habit. Now it's time for me, too, to hit the presidential Tempurpedic where my blankey, Boo-boo, awaits. Boo-boo make everything better for Barry...um-num-num-um zzzzz...  

High stakes poker

The al-Qaeda affiliate al-Shabaab in Somalia has mocked the new $33 million bounty on its top leaders by offering its own bounty for President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton – 10 camels for Obama and 20 hens for Clinton.
"Al-Shabaab? I'll raise you 100 camels for
Obama and 50 hens for Clinton."