1/31/12

Romney's rousing victory speech

Mitt Romney makes a rousing victory speech in Florida: "...Three years ago this week, a newly-elected President Obama faced the American people and said that if he couldn’t turn the economy around in three years, he’d be looking at a one-term proposition.  We’re here to collect."  And  it gets better. Astute Bloggers has it all. 

Gather ye cookies while ye may, look who's headed out your way

Cartoon: Michael Ramirez

Obama taps the wrong key

"Yesterday, in speaking with Jennifer Weddel, the wife of an unemployed semiconductor engineer, President Obama displayed why he is sometimes overrated as a politician.  Instead of hitting F8, which I think is the Obama Compassion Button, he hit F7, which is the Obama Lecture Button.  So instead of getting her pain felt, Jennifer got a lecture." More at White House Dossier.

Forecast could signal doom for Obama

The Congressional Budget Office has come out with  an economic forecast for 2012 that  -- if it proves to be accurate --- would signal  doom  for  Barack Obama's hopes of re-election.  Even the CBO's lowball estimate  of unemployment  is downright scary.   Town Hall  has more 

Romney 'gave $10,000 to radical gay group'

 Interesting: Mitt Romney  who represents himself as a social conservative, contributed $10,000 to a radical "gay" group,  Right Wing News alleges.

1/30/12

Michael Ramirez

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

"Telegraph this."
Today's Academy of Dung Beetles'  Award is being rolled towards Britain's  Telegraph newspaper which claimed that Michelle Obama spent $50,000 on lingerie at a Manhattan  store, without any source  [even anonymous]    for the amount. The White House says the report is '100 percent  false' and, in the absence  of sources or explanations  from the Telegraph, we have to assume this was, indeed, false.  Laughing Conservative  did  not mention the  report but,  since we try to use only  credible sources, we intend to delete the Telegraph from our permanent  links after allowing the paper  an  appropriate interval to investigate and publicly  explain what  occurred. Telegraph report is here.

Romney, Obama tie in swing states

Mitt Romney and Barack Obama are in a tie in  a poll of swing states, with Gingrich trailing. Details here

FITZ N' STARTZ

"I'm 100 percent pissed 
off with the 99%"

Mitt meets killer dolphin

William Jacobson at Legal Insurrection thinks this devastating clip  could be Romney's  undoing. It's not clear where it came from...Newt's campaign?

Your taxes at work

A disgraced  NY teacher is worth $10M, makes $100,000 a year, does nothing and  refuses to leave. The New York Post has more: 

The billion that dare not speak its name

Meet Obama's "reformed" Wall Street,  where  $1.2 billion can "vaporize" without a single person going to jail.  Zero Hedge explains.

1/29/12

Reuters roto-rooted over 'bias'

Big Journalism  has  roto-rooted Reuters over  what it says is a blatantly biased, error-ridden hit-job on Marco Rubio. More here.

Costa arm and a leg

Costa Concordia jokes  have poured in faster than seawater through the breach in the hull. A sample:
  • What's the fastest way to get off an Italian cruise ship? - Follow the captain.
  • What was in the sandwich the captain ordered before fleeing his ship? - Chicken of the Sea
[Thanks: RK]

Supremes vs. Obama

Time after time, Barack Obama has chosen to uphold government power at the expense of individual protections, declares Steve Chapman at Reason.com. He writes:
"Warrantless wiretapping in national security cases? For it. Detaining citizens indefinitely without trial? Sure. Assassinating Americans abroad without making public the evidence or the legal rationale? Done. In October 2010, American Civil Liberties Union Executive Director Anthony Romero pronounced himself "disgusted" with the administration's record.
"But there is one big redeeming item on his record: He has appointed to the Supreme Court people who don't entirely share his taste for aggressive statism. In two recent major decisions, both Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan have declined to indulge ominous encroachments on personal freedom and privacy."  Read it all.
[Thanks BJS]

Yeah, I said "hell"

Germany wants Greek surrender

 Philipp Roesler is the first German cabinet member to endorse openly  a proposal for Greece to surrender budget control. And some bad news for Portugal and then Spain: you are next.  Zero Hedge has more.
Laughing Conservative predicts Greece will  default before -- effectively -- surrendering  its  national sovereignty. At the speed with which  Obama is running up US debt, how long before  China wants control of our budget? Oh wait... we don't have one.

I'm interviewed by Pundit Press

 Laughing Conservative  is interviewed by Pundit Press.  Read it here.

Rick McKee

1/28/12

Dutch ban burqas

The Dutch government plans to ban Muslim face veils worn in public  such as burqas and other forms  that cover the face, Reuters reports. The ban would make the Netherlands -- where  one out of every 17 people are Muslim -- the second European Union country  after France, to ban the burqa.
"People should be able to look at each other's faces and recognize each other when they meet," the interior affairs ministry said. More here.

The race card

 "Cain is endorsing Gingrich? But
I've already played the race card."


Breaking: Cain endorses Gingrich

Herman  Cain endorses Newt Gingrich. More here

Smile of the Day

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi says she has dirt on Newt Gingrich, but so far she's keeping her lips sealed — because that's how the last surgeon left them." –Conan O'Brien

Michelle's yard sale

[via Bird Ankles]

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

"Suspend this, principal"
The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards the principal of a California elementary school who suspended a six-year-old boy  after accusing him of 'sexual battery' for allegedly brushing his  best friend's thigh  or groin while they were playing in the playground. More here.

Philosophy of the stupid

"The reason I say that liberalism is the philosophy of the stupid is because we can look at what's going around in the country today. If, in your own lives, you were pursuing policies that were destroying your own home ownership, that were destroying your own job, that were creating a massive, impossible debt for your family and your children in particular, you'd stop it. You wouldn't keep doing it!
"And yet for the liberal, if it's imposed on you -- and they feel that they can be immune from it -- they're for it.
"They wouldn't do to themselves and their own family what they're doing to you, and your family, and the whole nation!
"Take Barack Obama. Does Barack Obama conduct himself in his own, personal affairs, in his family's affairs, as recklessly as he conducts the affairs of the nation? No. Would he run up the kind of relative personal debt that he's running up for the nation? No way.
"Would he do anything that would endanger his position as president? Of course not -- he thinks his agenda will return him to office. He's taking care of his constituent groups...
So they do to us -- and they do to our society -- what they would never do to their own families. They do not live in their own lives as they seek to have the rest of us live. Or as they seek to have our society conduct itself." --Mark Levin, "Why Liberalism is the Philosophy of the Stupid".
[h/t Doug Ross]

1/27/12

Michael Ramirez

Treehugger-in-chief escorted by 22 gas guzzlers

 Send in the clowns: Obama leaves a clean energy  event in Colorado in a motorcade of 22 gas guzzlers.

The Nature of Man

Separated at birth

For fans of The Office: 

F
[via Buzzfeed]

FITZ N' Startz

"Debates?  Mudwrestling would be cleaner 
and more useful"

[Drawing: Alastair Graham]

The Bad Taste Factor

Early warning to those who  might plan to watch the next airing of Fear Factor: There seems to be no  depth which  reality TV makers will not plumb and viewers will not follow. This episode involves drinking  glasses of donkey semen and urine. Asinine. More here.

Shocked by the Volt

There are disturbing facts about the Chevy Volt and its tendency to ignite  that have been quietly  ignored by mainstream media.  Doug Ross has more of what car buyers need to know.

1/26/12

Let me be clear...

Cartoonist: Rick McKee

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

"Superintendent, this is yours"
The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled toward school officials at Shawano High School, Wisconsin, who allegedly censored and punished a 15-year-old boy, for writing an article explaining the Biblical view of homosexuality and supporting natural mother-father adoption. Superintendent Todd Carlson allegedly told him that the column "went against the bullying policy." The boy's opinion  was a part of an editorial page  presenting viewpoints both for and against homosexual adoption, each articulated by a student. More here.

Another Biden blunder

Joe attempts an Indian accent and fails. Almost as embarrassing as Obama trying to speak like he was raised in  the 'hood.  But  I must be mistaken,  we know Dems can never be raaaacist,  or patronizing don't we? 

Arizona Governor fails to bow


Smartest baby in America

President Fail

"Let me be clear, O is and always has been an ordinary political hack who was picked up by a brilliant campaign because he happened to be in the right place at the right time. This brilliant campaign ran him, and ever since he’s been trying and failing to lead the country. He’s been a failure from the beginning because he’s been a fraud from the beginning."   Reader comment via Althouse.

Repetition -- repetition-- is the charm

Repetition -- repetition,  is a very effective -- I repeat, very effective --  public speaking device and also really does help fill time --  help fill time --when you have almost nothing new -- and I mean, almost nothing new -- to say.

1/25/12

Ask Cabbie: Mobile advice columnist

Dear Cabbie: I am a multi-billionaire  but  I pay less tax than my secretary. I think I should  be paying more taxes. What should I do? -- W.B., Omaha

Dear W.B.: You gotta be freakin' kiddin' me, right?  If you are so goddam antsy to pay more tax, get your checkbook out your pocket, write a check for 50% of your pay and mail it to to the IRS -- end of  problem. You still  gotta problem widdat?    Fuggedaboudit: Write a check for  all your goddam income and send it to me. I got mouths to feed.  Hey, buddy, where you goin'? We tip 15 % in Manhattan. Goddam Nebraskan tightwad -- Cabbie

Cartoonist: Eric Allie

[via Red Planet]

Cartoonist: Michael Ramirez

[via Red Planet]

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...


"Gnaw on this, Nancy"
The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards House Minority Leader Nancy "The Mask" Pelosi who has now backtracked  from  implying  that she had confidential dirt on Newt Gingrich which would prevent him from becoming president. She now says she has nothing on him that isn't already public knowledge. Now that was dirty politics, right there.

'Poor' woman leaves $2million to charity

Before demonizing "the rich,"  Obama and his fellow travelers should consider the case of  Elinor Sauerwein, who seemingly lived in poverty, yet left $2 million to the Salvation Army.  ABC has details 

The Mail topples the Gray Lady

The Daily Mail, a middle-market British tabloid, has toppled The New York Times to become the newspaper with the biggest online reach in the world, according to the online tracking service comScore The Laughing Conservative worked for the Mail's owners  when he was a relative rookie.  The Mail is right of center and  has an infallible "nose for news." They do veer towards the sensational, but are seldom boring. Interestingly,  the majority of their traffic comes from the US.

Stuff liberals say


Cartoonist: Rick McKee

Same old, same old


State of the Ego

I, me, mine, myself, personally, je, moi, ich, mein, mio, mea, mich... Yes, it's all about me.

1/24/12

Obama 2012

Cartoonist: Michael Ramirez

[via Red Planet]

Exclusive! Romney's brain revealed

"Danger. Newt. is. attacking..."
An exclusive look at Mitt Romney's brain as he calculates the reply to an attack by Newt Gingrich. The white glow at the bottom right indicates an excited area where he has computed and  stored the most politically advantageous position of the day. This is in volatile memory and and there will be no way of recalling it once he is powered down for the night. He will compute a new position in the morning.

Love story

A state of disaster


"Those people weeping in the street? 
They just learned the State of the Union."



The rising price of Obamanomics

During the presidency of Barack Obama, the price of a gallon of gasoline has jumped 83 percent, according to data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics.  During the same period, the price of ground beef has gone up 24 percent and price of bacon has gone up 22 percent. Details here

Surprised? Keystone rejection benefits Buffett

Crony capitalism at work:  A big beneficiary from  Obama blocking the Keystone pipeline will be  Warren "Raise my taxes" Buffett's Burlington Northern Railway. More here
[thanks BJS]

Dreams of our daughters

There are occasions when the sheer  force and passion of someone's argument stops you in your tracks. Such is the case with The Anchoress on the subject of Roe v. Wade.  Read it all.

Cartoonist: Michael Ramirez

[via Red Planet

Why do girls seek to be more boyish?

Piece of Work in Progress has an interesting post, questioning how much  male homosexual  influence on female fashion has influenced the pressure on women to be more boyish in appearance-- lanky, with narrow hips and  a small bust.  Read it all

1/23/12

FITZ N' STARTZ

"Now Newt wants the Mittbot 
to disclose his circuit diagrams"
[drawing: Alastair Graham]

The clown hat goes to...

Today's clown hat goes to  the TSA  staff who delayed a  senator while was on his way to  D.C. More here.

Florida latest: Gingrich 41, Romney 32

The latest Rasmussen Reports telephone survey of Likely Florida Republican Primary Voters, taken Sunday evening, finds Gingrich earning 41% of the vote with Romney in second at 32%.  Details here.

Cartoonist: Nate Beeler

[via Town Hall]

Hogging attention

Still worth a smile: Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address  are on the same day. One is an annual ritual of looking to a creature of limited intelligence for guidance.  The other involves a  groundhog. 

1/22/12

Now Brazil stiffs Obama over oil deal

In another display of dazzling  incompetence -- after blocking the Keystone pipeline, driving Canada into alliance with China -- Obama has lost a massive oil deal with Brazil to -- guess who? China.   Those  crazy conspiracy theorists who say Obama is deliberately crippling America... are they really so crazy?  More here.
[Thanks: BJS] 

Obama's no-energy energy plan


 Chris Wysocki at Wyblog is  steaming with  sulphuric sarcasm  today: 
"When Barry took office gas was $1.81 a gallon. This week it hit $3.31 here in New Jersey, only 7 cents below the national average of $3.38.  Wouldn't it be great if there was a plentiful source of crude oil, maybe only a few miles north of us, and a reliable way to get that oil to our refineries? It's almost like Obama's energy policy is "no energy," isn't it? I mean when he claims that three years isn't enough time to study the Keystone XL pipeline proposal (and like Newt said, we won World War II in less than three years!), and then he goes and puts essentially all of our uranium producing lands off-limits to mining, what other conclusion can I make?" Read it all
.

No more bowing to oil kings, vows Gingrich

No more bowing to oil kings,  vows victorious Gingrich

1/21/12

Obama's misfortune cookie

Palin: what role in Newt's future?

It's an interesting question:  How much did Sarah Palin's last-minute support for Gingrich in S.C. help turn the tide for him? And how may he want to use that support in  future? She would certainly help offset misgivings female voters may have about him. VP would be a stretch, but  she could have a credible role in a Gingrich Cabinet. Newt may have been an SOB at times, but he's a grown-up. And how nice it would be to have a grown-up in the Oval Office, after four long years...

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

"Laughing now,  Maher?"
The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards  HBO's Bill Maher  who says Tea Party supporters  favor Gingrich because he's 'racist like they are.' 

It's Newt! Exit polls predict

Newt Gingrich will defeat Mitt Romney to win the South Carolina primary, according to projections based on exit poll data. Ron Paul and Rick Santorum were battling for third place. More here

A final, foolish Mittcalculation

Romney's campaign is planning to send Newt Gingrich a birthday cake to celebrate the 15th anniversary of Newt's censure by the House. This is a serious misjudgment when people are increasingly turned off by silly stunts and distractions from the deeply serious issues we face. It's no wonder Romney is lagging. Professor William Jacobson has more here.

Some like it dry

Smitty,  a man of excellent taste,  posted this video at The Other McCain.
Laughing Conservative readers are already aware that we share Mr Ott's love of dry humor.

Cartoonist: Rick McKee

1/20/12

10 reasons Newt is right about THAT question

 From a journalism pundit, comes this interesting perspective: Ten reasons Newt Gingrich is right about John King's first question
[thanks BJS]

Cartoonist: Glenn Foden

Bloggers scorned

Prof. William Jacobson  says hell hath no fury like a blogger scorned. Mitt's campaign has been  doing some scorning.

Obama view of same-sex marriage 'still evolving'

Barack Obama's view on "gay" marriage is still evolving, says spokesperson  Jay Carney.  Why does the Laughing Conservative have a nagging suspicion that Obama's view will continue to "evolve" until  after the General Election in November? Keith Koffler has more

Holder linked to big mortgage banks

Washington's revolving  doors: "U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder and Lanny Breuer, head of the Justice Department's criminal division, were partners for years at a Washington law firm that represented a Who's Who of big banks and other companies at the center of alleged foreclosure fraud," a Reuters inquiry claims.

Laugh of the Week

 "President Obama took Michelle out to a steak restaurant for her birthday, marking the first time in months the words 'Obama' and 'well done' appeared in the same sentence." --Jimmy Fallon.

Messenger for freedom

1/19/12

Cartoonist: Michael Ramirez

Why blogs should probe MSM writers

The ABC News interview with former House Speaker Newt Gingrich’s second ex-wife,  has prompted radio host Rush Limbaugh to ask why journalists aren’t held to the same standard  as those they investigate.  Limbaugh said that it was appropriate to do so, since media are no longer just reporting, but passing judgement. The Daily Caller has more.
 MSM  journalists are unlikely  investigate themselves  with  rigor, so this  role would be ideal for  independent  bloggers.   Such blogs might thrive  on increased  traffic but would likely need some  financial help to take on this added role (with all outside funding disclosed).  For campaigns or Superpacs this could be a great investment.

:

The Diary of O

  Dear Diary: Another insanely busy day, beginning with a speech about tourism at Disney World. I wish all audiences were as receptive as those puppets in "It's a small,small world." It sure was a small world for me today: by 2.15 p.m. we were already heading north again to New York for four fundraisers in a row, ending at the Apollo Theater. I sang a few lines from an Al Green  song. I sang very well, though I say so myself[and I do.] The audience loved it. On way back to D.C I had to discuss strategy for limiting damage from rejecting the Keystone Pipeline. Only got back here a few minutes ago. Good night,small world. And so to bed.

Killing Keystone is insane, says Samuelson

"President Obama’s rejection of the Keystone XL pipeline from Canada to the Gulf of Mexico is an act of national insanity," writes Robert Samuelson of the Washington Post. " It isn’t often that a president makes a decision that has no redeeming virtues and — beyond the symbolism — won’t even advance the goals of the groups that demanded it."   Combine this with union fury from the left,  and it looks like  presidential advisers Jarrett and Axelrod have allowed an  unwitting president to walk  into a spinning propeller.

Exposed: The real Keystone strategy

"So, Mr Obama, you'll  kill the Keystone pipeline, 
Canada's oil will come  to China and Americans 
will have to buy more Chevy Volts.  I love it when a plan comes together."

Union blasts Obama for siding with greens

Not surprisingly laborers' union President Terry O'Sullivan is fuming at Obama's killing of  the Keystone Pipeline. Doug  Ross has this broadside from O'Sullivan:
"...We are completely and totally disappointed. This is politics at its worst. Once again the President has sided with environmentalists instead of blue collar construction workers – even though environmental concerns were more than adequately addressed. Blue collar construction workers across the U.S. will not forget this.
The project would create thousands of good jobs at a time when unemployment in the construction industry is 16 percent with 1.3 million men and women jobless.
Environmental groups have used the Keystone XL as a disingenuous proxy for arguments about global warming. The pipeline would carry up to 900,000 barrels of oil a day from Canada’s Tar Sands to the U.S., reducing reliance on oil from hostile nations. While environmental groups decry Tar Sands development, the Canadian government and Trans-Canada, the company developing the Tar Sands, have made clear the oil will be developed – and possibly sold to China – regardless of whether Keystone XL is built..."

A letter from Mitt


SOUTH CAROLINA (The Borowitz Report) – Republican presidential frontrunner Mitt Romney has released the following letter to the American people:
Dear American People:
Over the past several days, my personal finances have been distorted into a grotesque caricature by the mainstream media, pundits, and other people who can count.  I am writing to you to set the record straight by explaining my finances in terms the American people can relate to.
Let’s say you bought a bottle of Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1982 for $5,000.  A couple of years later, what do you know, you sell that same bottle for $10,000.  So you just made a profit of $5,000 through your own hard work.  How much of that should you pay to the government?  I’d say fifteen percent.   Read it all.

Cartoonist: Gary Varvel

[via Town Hall]

Naked admiration

Perry quits, backs Newt

Texas Rick Perry will announce his withdrawal from the GOP  race at an 11a.m. gathering and will endorse Newt Gingrich, according to multiple sources, including CNN

City pays $5million for its teachers to have plastic surgery

The incredible tale of how a city  pays millions in nip-and-tuck surgery for its teachers. Read it all
[Thanks BJS]

Cartoonist: Rick McKee

The Diary of O

Dear Diary: Heck of a day, with incoming from all directions, mostly about axing the Keystone XL pipeline, but we managed to deflect some of heat towards the Republicans.  The dinner we had on Michelle's birthday at the BLT Steakhouse inevitably came under fire after the menu was leaked. What's the world coming to when a guy can't even have an $80 steak without people whining about "the 99 percent."   This occupy crap is getting  really old. I now regret showing solidarity with the unbathed illegitimi. There were some demonstrating outside the White House and one even threw a smoke bomb on to the North lawn. Marvin my new body guy was nearby, taking Bo out for a leak. The  bomb scared the heck out of both of them. Bo jumped  straight into Marvin's arms and that dog is not small [Bo I mean, not Marvin.] If that's how the unbathed  hordes are going express their gratitude, I'll get Eric to instruct the D.C. cops take off the gloves.  Michelle was in a great mood today, maybe it was the afterglow of that  delicious red velvet dessert of which she had, ahem, a generous portion. But, dag-gone, she was the birthday girl.  That'll be Michelle calling now, so I'll close the laptop. And so to bed. 

1/18/12

Barack Obama, mass job killer

Obama's decision to reject the Keystone pipeline project is a tragedy both for job seekers and the country's energy security. Many  job-loss figures are being claimed, but here's an estimate TransCanada made  some  time ago on their website when they thought -- like any sane person -- that  the project was too  vital for US  security not to be approved.  
They said: "TransCanada is poised to put 13,000 Americans to work to construct the pipeline - pipefitters, welders, mechanics, electricians, heavy equipment operators, among other jobs - in addition to 7,000 manufacturing jobs that would be created across the U.S.  Additionally, local businesses  on the pipeline route will benefit from the 118,000 spin-off jobs Keystone XL will create through increased business for local goods and service providers." 
 The only good thing  to emerge from this ghastly mess is the  powerful weapon  it has given Republicans to  ridicule  the job-destroyer-in-chief if he dares claim ever again  that he's  a champion of the middle class. 

Cartoonist: Michael Ramirez

New green energy fail: taxpayers hit for $20 million

On the very day that Obama rejected  the Keystone pipeline, Oregon Live reports: Taxpayers will have to bail out a state fund that made bad loans to increasingly speculative renewable energy projects. The fund loaned $18 million to a Clatskanie ethanol plant that quickly went bankrupt, $12.1 million to a Linn County solar company crippled by plunging global prices...In all, state officials estimate the Oregon Energy Department's Small Scale Energy Loan Program will cost the Oregon general fund, and taxpayers, as much as $20 million over five years. 
[Thanks: BJS]

Why we miss the Gipper

Keith Koffler at White House Dossier has this wonderful Reagan joke from days when politics were so much less bitter.


The mortal peril from Iran

"Any president of the United States fit for the office should someday, soon, say to the American people that in his judgment Iran—because of its longstanding and implacable push for nuclear weapons, its express hostility to the U.S., Israel and the West, and its record of barbarity and terror—must be deprived of the capacity to wound this country and its allies such as they have never been wounded before." Mark Halprin  at the WSJ makes makes a compelling case for neutralizing Iran's nuclear threat imminently, while it's still possible.. Read it all.


Too close for comfort


People have been drawing unflattering parallels between the navigational skills of the ill-fated  Italian cruiseship captain  and the way Obama is steering America.  Here is a satellite picture of the wreck which shows how insanely close the ship was to shore. Let's hope Obama is steering America  a little further from the  economic rocks. But, alas, we already know what hope and Obama bring.
[Thanks BJS]

Let them eat Wagyu

The Obamas   have celebrated Michelle Obama's 48th  birthday with a modest meal at D.C.'s  BLT Steakhouse where a Wagyu steak costs around $85 dollars . Obama  must  have been building up his strength to announce later today his rejection of the Keystone pipeline and  accompanying  jobs for  40,000 people. Let them eat Wagyu.

Cartoonist: Lisa Benson

[via Town Hall]