Two experts say It's NOT Zimmerman calling for help

At last some credible  forensic evidence, rather than mob-driven  guesswork. Sharpton and Jackson STFU and  let justice take its course.

Barack Obama's Diary: April Fools Eve

Dear Diary: April Fools begins at midnight.  Lord, how I hate it. I think I've taken all possible precautions. I warned Joe not to call Vladimir Putin on the hotline saying a bunch of nukes are headed his way. Joe nearly started World War Three when he did that last year. Then I'll get a 3 a.m  phone call from Hillary  whooping  and yelling "April Fooled yah!"  George Bush will call at dawn and say: "Sorry, buddy, wrong number...blame me." Marv will have  tied the legs of my jammie pants in knots and hidden Boo-Boo my blankie. Hardy har, har. Now a quick prayer to myself, find Boo-boo, close the laptop. And so to bed. Oh wait... is that a frog on my pillow from Sarkozy?

Deeper in Debt

" Honey, you don't want to owe $50,000?"

Obama now an existential threat to Israel?

A former Marine strike planner says  the Obama Administration should now be viewed as an existential threat to this key U.S. ally.  Read it all.

Cartoon: Paul Zanetti

[Paul Zanetti, Australia]

Corrine Brown beclowns self

Oops. Rep. Corrine Brown  beclowns  herself. [video] 
(Thanks: Weasel Zippers)

Wake-up Call

You bombed Iran
Bibi, did you just say: "April fool?"


Fitz n' Startz

"If I win the lottery, I'm buying Gingrich a one-way ticket to Pago Pago"

Drawing: Alastair Graham]

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

"Inflame this, Reverend "
The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards Rev. Al Sharpton for continuing to inflame racial animosity by calling for an 'escalation' in civil disobedience.  In a normal world that means rioting.

Obama 'not operating in good faith'

Peggy Noonan on growing Obamaphobia: "What is happening is that the president is coming across more and more as a trimmer, as an operator who's not operating in good faith. This is hardening positions and leading to increased political bitterness. And it's his fault, too..." Read it all

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: Another long, long day. Marvin the Marvel woke me early for a hurried breakfast followed by the usual morning briefing, and then we left  for  Andrews where I climbed the stairs to AF1 with my carefully-cultivated light-footed athletic trot. We took off for Burlington, Vermont, and the first of four fundraisers in Maine and Vermont. [This is Democrat-land but gettin' a Yankee to donate  a buck is like trying to extract a tooth from a Sasquatch.]  I was back home by 10.30pm. M. and the girls are still on the West coast, raising  still more money. I  spoke briefly with Malia who was like "Vegas is totally awesome, Dad." Then I changed into my jammies, said my usual bedtime prayer to myself, closed the laptop, and so to bed and the comforting embrace of Boo-boo my blankie, who always makes Barry feel better, don't you, Boo-boo um-um-ummm...


Newt Gingpoor

" Newt, you're kidding. You want 50 bucks
for this photograph?"

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards "comedian" Roseanne Barr for Tweeting the home address of George Zimmerman's parents to thousands of her followers.

Roseanne lowers the Barr

Roseanne Barr  has Tweeted the  correct home address of George Zimmerman's parents to her 100,000+ followers. Which is more incredible: she can sink so low? Or that she has 100,000 followers?  More here.

Obama 'showed no compassion' over murder of British students

The parents of two British students shot dead in Florida while begging for their lives have accused President Obama of "lack of compassion."  Perhaps those students didn't look enough like Obama's  imaginary son.  More here. 

U.S. using leaks to pressure Israel?

Israeli analysts say the US is deliberately leaking  key intelligence  information to pressure Israel not to bomb Iran. Details here.
Update: Pamela Geller weighs in. 

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary:  Alone again tonight because M. and the girls are on a trip to Mount Rushmore. Could  she be measuring it up for a surprise giant sculpture of me?
What a fitting tribute  that would be
To my immortal presidency.
 How like Shakespearean I sound when writing my diary. How felicitous my prose!
When they've finished taking their  measure of the mountain, M.  and the girls are flying onwards to Vegas, where they'll spend the night at Caesar's Palace. Some  folks are saying that there comes a  time when you've had  enough vacation.  I'd like to see them say that to Michelle face-to face. Scary.
Meanwhile, I'm left in DC taking the heat for everything from George Zimmerman to $4 gas.  But at least I'm getting a break from last year's frozen peas. Marvellous Marv has laid out my jammies and  tonight I get to cuddle up with Boo-boo, my blankie, to keep the scary dreams away: What if  there's not enough room on  Mount Limbaugh  Rushbaugh Rushmore  for my  beautiful ears. Shall I compare them to a summer's day ?  No, they are more lovely and more temperate.  A quick prayer to myself. And so to bed.

Dear Cabby: A ride with our advice columnist

Dear Cabby:  I'm still absolutely and completely the best hope for the Republicans to defeat  Obama. I've  even fired  some of my campaign staff to stretch my  budget and stay in the race.  If you pay me $50 I will pose with  you for a photograph outside of Tiffany's. -- Newt G.

Dear Newt G.: You gotta be kiddin' me, right?  Fuggedaboudit. You'll pay the goddam fare to Tiffany's or I'll drop you  and your blonde at  the nearest Precinct House and they'll  take your mugshot for free. You gotta problem widdat? --Cabby


Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Reading entire Obamacare law 'cruel punishment' jokes judge

Being required to read the entire 2700 pages of  'Obamacare' legislation might come under the Eighth Amendment forbidding cruel and unusual  punishment, Judge Antonin Scalia joked at the Supreme Court hearing today. More here

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

"Address this, Spike"
Today's Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards film director Spike Lee who  wrongly tweeted to his 250,000 followers the address of an elderly couple as the address of George Zimmerman, forcing the couple to flee to a hotel in fear for their lives. To make matters worse, Lee has refused comment on the error. Details here.

Media visions

[Sad Hill News]

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: Arrived back in DC after a brief sleep on board AF1 from Seoul. After Marine One landed at the White House I asked Michelle to show me her newly-seeded vegetable garden which she  is very excited about.  After the helicopter had gone we spent a few minutes examining the scene  of the crime with a flashlight.  The  daggone peas are already planted, with sticks for them to  climb up. May it please Gaia,  they will be killed by a late frost.   Failing that, I will have to escalate from Defcon 3 to Defcon 4 and  throw a ball for Bo so he runs over the pea vines.  No measure is  too extreme to avoid another winter of home-frozen peas with every meal. 
Meanwhile Malia's back from her spring break in Mexico. After I kissed and hugged her, she  was like "Dad,  I totally need to speak with you about Mexico."  Uh-oh. It sounded like a conversation she needed to have with Michelle, not me. I was like "Of course, sweetheart." Her teen-speak is so  infectious that I am left  totally  talking like a sophomore for hours after any conversation with her.  It's  awesome that  I have no, like, public engagements scheduled for tomorrow.   
Marvin has already unpacked  for me and left my blue jammies out. Boo-boo, my blankie, lives under my pillow when I'm at home, so I can hold him [Boo-boo, not Marvin] with one hand  and suck my thumb if I wake up after a  scary dream. Talking of scary, Michelle is calling out for me  saying it's late. I must shut the laptop, say a quick prayer to myself. And so to bed. 

A Cap of Joe

Honoring Trayvon

Nothing says RIP better than looting your local Walgreens, says Pundette, who  also has an excellent update of events surrounding the whole sad affair.

Headline of the Week...

 London's Daily Mail  titles a report about a JetBlue pilot's bizarre behavior: "This is Your Captain Freaking" 


Obama 2nd term? Brace for a hard turn left

Charles Krauthammer writes that, if Obama is re-elected, Americans must brace themselves for an even sharper  turn to the left. More here

Cartoon: Eric Allie

[Cagle Cartoons]

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: I'm once again  in the bedroom of Air Force One, flying home from the nuclear security conference in Seoul.  Marvin, The Prince of Bodymen, promised to keep my  food kimchee-free while I was in Seoul and he did. After take off,  I  celebrated with a delicious steak for dinner. Then I caught up with briefings  sent by Jarrett and Axelrod. It seems the uproar over the shooting of that kid in Florida  has only gotten louder while I've been away, and Sharpton and Jackson have been stirring things up. It turns out that  that  the Zimmerman guy is a registered Democrat and likely voted for me in 2008. Awkwaard.  I'm going to be walking a tight-rope on  this issue after I get back.  At least I can  initially plead jet-lag  to avoid the media. Carney can take the heat while I talk strategy with Jarrett and Axelrod.
Marv has laid out my jammies and I'm going to put them on now, climb into bed and watch  some  NCAA games  which he  recorded, until I'm ready to fall asleep.  

A Big Thank You

Laughing Conservative has just passed the 40,000  visitor mark. Time once again to thank all you regular readers (you know who you are)  for being loyal through good humor and bad.  Some  much older blogs have had a million visitors. But none of them  are more valued than you!

Biased Much?

The 50 words banned by educrats

This post from Wyblog belongs in the Hall of Fame of  Things You  Could Never  Make Up.

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary:  Uh-oh.  Bad news. I don't mean the media reaction  to microphones picking up Dimi Medvedev  and I talking about  missiles and  the need for Vlad the Impaler to give me space.  The bad news is  about peas. More of them. 
I called Michelle this evening  and she was bubbling with excitement about  planting her fourth  White House vegetable garden.  " Wunderbar!"  I said, practicing  my German, the better to  to ingratiate myself with  that scary Angela Merkel.  Talking of scary women , I asked  Michelle if she was planting  another crop of peas.  "Of course," she said, "After that bountiful  crop last year which we're still eating." Tell me about it.  
Maybe if I lose in November we can leave those  frozen green bullets  behind for the Romneys. It's my last night in Seoul. Marv has laid out Boo-boo and my blue jammies.   A quick prayer to myself. And so to bed.

Zimmerman a registered Democrat

One more fact that spoils the MSM narrative:  George Zimmerman,  alleged shooter of Trayvon Martin, is a registered Democrat. Details here.


Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary:  Another long, long day here in South Korea at the nuclear security  conference.  State had set up a  meeting with Dimi Medvedev on the sidelines. A few minutes earlier  I had been patched through to Malia in Mexico where she is on spring break. Her teenage slang is like totally  infectious. As Dimi and I sat down  in the meeting room,  I was like, " On the question of our missile shield in Eastern Europe, Vladimir  totally  needs to give me space.  Dimi nodded and went: "You need more space?  I understand and  I'll  pass this information to  Vladimir."  I was like: "After  the next election I'll have more flexibility."  As luck would have it,  the microphones in meeting room were switched on and picked up some of our words.  Aawkwaaard. Carney will have tough time spinning that. He'll just have to be like: "There's a lot of rhetoric surrounding this issue." 
That's a totally awesome  sound-bite, though I say so myself... and I do. I'll suggest it to  Jarrett and Carney when I speak with them in the morning. Marvin my body man has laid out my jammies next to Boo-boo, my blankie.   A quick prayer of gratitude  to myself for being so  like totally brilliant. Barry cuddle Barry's blankie Boo-boo. And so to bed.

Cartoon: Gary McCoy

[Cagle Cartoons]


Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: It's the end of a long day. The army took me to the DMZ and gave  me a pair of binoculars to look into North Korea. I couldn't see much, but I do admire  the way the Norks  hold Kim Jong Un in great reverence.  I deserve that, though I say so myself ...and I do.  Marvin my body guy who knows everything,  managed to keep me adequately fed without  my having to eat any spicy fermented cabbage. Marvin thinks I should turn in early so he has laid out my jammies and Boo-boo my faithful blankie  which I'll rub against my cheek to ensure a good night's rest before the nuclear materials conference starts in the morning. A quick prayer to myself, and so to bed. Boo-boo, come and cuddle.

A fine antidote to mob justice

Many people  have been watching, as I have, with  growing dismay how  the tragic Trayvon Martin incident has been exploited to widen  racial divisions. The most balanced and thoughtful  commentary I have seen on this subject comes from William Jacobson, a law professor at Cornell. Read it  here.

Cabby: Ride with our advice columnist

Dear Cabby: Even more people are pressuring me to drop out of the race after  I  lagged in  Louisiana. I still think I'm absolutely and completely the brightest hope for the Republican Party to win in November. What should I do?  --Newt G., Georgia.

Dear Newt G: Yada-yada-yada...  maybe if ya'd shaddup for a minute people would vote for ya.  I read in da paper dat da campaign is in debt.  You and  Callista in the city to enjoy some retail therapy? Gotta keep da ladies smilin', Newt.  I hope you're keepin' accurate campaign  accounts. If you owe any money in Vegas, what stays  in Vegas will be your ass, Newt. Here's Tiffany's. Don't charge his credit account, lady. He's goin' to have a tough time payin' it off on the college lecture circuit. Nah, forget the tip, Newt. Ya gonna need it more than I do.--Cabby.

The Day of Reckoning is at hand

Some thoughtful Aussies think the gigantic  debt the US has run up is the beginning of the end for America as we know it. Mark Steyn has more..

Media silent as black kids set white kid on fire

PJ Tatler says:  "Since the country is busy condemning whites for the shooting of a black kid by a Hispanic man, you may have missed this story...


Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: Here I am on AF1 winging my way to South Korea for nuclear talks.   Axelrod  likes the "international statesman" optics. What scares me is what the Koreans will be feeding us. There is the dreaded Kimchi [which Marv my body man who knows everything, says is a highly-spiced fermented cabbage and is served at all meals.] Woe is me...from Guinness, to fiery fermented cabbage all in the space of a week. The things I do for my country. 
Marvin  says it's time for bed, and he's laid out my jammies  on the bed along with my faithful little satin-edged blankie.  Time for a prayer to myself, and so to bed, blankie pressed to my cheek, sucking a thumb to the lullaby of  fanjets and taking  an occasional glance  out the window at the   reassuring fighters  that  fly with us in relays to keep bad guys away.

Race hate builds on Twitter

Mob justice, hate speech, incitement, you name it, it's being Tweeted. See here

Prez promotes Big F****ing Deal T-shirts

[ Classy: Obama Tweeted this

Tim's Tiny Estimate


Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Dear Cabby: advice column

Dear Cabby: I'm in trouble.  I said publicly  that Mitt  Romney doesn't offer voters  a clear enough choice to distinguish him from Obama so they might as well vote Obama back in, rather  than vote for Romney. I never said I would vote for Obama over a Republican, but most folks seem to think I did. What shall I do? --Rick S.

Dear Rick: Are ya nuts? You said da front-running GOP candidate was no different  than Obama? You know how my earnings have gone down since dat bum has been in  da Oval Office?  I' m workin' double shifts just  to put food on da table. And you think people are not going to freak out when you say that Romney won't be any better  than him?  My mother's-in-law's parrot would do a better job than Obama and at least he was born in the USA. What's your name again. Oh yeah, Saint Torum. Well, buddy, the Saint part of your name may help you in New Orleans. But otherwise it's game over for ya. Here's da terminal for your flight to Louisiana.  Be careful  down dere, if da alligators don't getya Mitt and Newt will.  And don't forget  da Etcha-Sketch on da back  seat --Cabby.


 I am pleased to note that Yid with Lid is as appalled as I am by Santorum's  nauseating tactic of  promoting Obama over Romney. More here.

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards Karen Finney  of MSNBC for a  disgraceful smear of  Rush Limbaugh  and several Republican presidential candidates for  supposedly  creating  a climate  that encouraged the shooting of Trayvon Martin. Details here

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]


Supreme Court case puts your liberty in peril

The Wall Street Journal says: "Few legal cases in the modern era are as consequential, or as defining, as the challenges to the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act that the Supreme Court hears beginning Monday. The powers that the Obama Administration is claiming change the structure of the American government as it has existed for 225 years. Thus has the health-care law provoked an unprecedented and unnecessary constitutional showdown that endangers individual liberty." More here.
[Thanks: BJS]

Santorum says 'choose Obama over Romney'

Rick Santorum said today that re-electing Obama would be a better choice  than Mitt Romney. The Laughing Conservative thinks this goes beyond acceptable  intra-party rivalry, and  that it's time for Santorum to quit. Details here

Former Thatcher adviser says Obama certificate 'plainly a forgery'

Lord Monckton,  a former policy adviser to Margaret Thatcher says  that President Obama's birth certificate  as posted on the White House website is "plainly a forgery." More here

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: Back in DC at last, after two long days in flyover country. A funny thing happened in Ohio today, when was addressing an attentive  audience at Ohio  State University on weighty matters of energy policy. As I spoke some dude heckled me, heckled  me, the leader of the Free World. I stopped dead and gave the aforesaid dude one of my extra-special  prolonged stares that even had Netanyahu shaking in his boots. (Hillary claims  that Netanyahu  was shaking with silent laughter, but she would say that, wouldn't she.) Incredibly this little twerp did not immediately  desist, but continued to yell objections to the Oklahoma-Gulf leg of the XL pipeline. What is the world coming to? Where's the common courtesy?  I was soon  ushered away to the safe confines of Air Force One for the trip back to DC. And not a moment to soon. My exceptional gifts of intellect and perspicacity are  clearly wasted on such people. So here I am, back in the White House  private residence, in fresh  blue  jammies, carefully laid out by Marv, the body guy, ready to shut the laptop and to say a quick prayer to myself. Michelle is calling  out to me. And so to bed.

Late night riddle

Obama 'to give $1.5 billion to Muslim Brotherhood'

Breitbart.com has a huge breaking story: that the Obama Administration will give $1.5 billion in aid to Egypt, circumventing restrictions that Congress had in place to ensure aid is withheld  until there is a return to democracy in Egypt, whose military government  is dominated by the Muslim Brotherhood. Read it all

Teachers want to stop kids having 'best friends'

Some British schools are  now actively discouraging children from having "best friends" so they are spared hurt if the "best friendship" ends. More here. 
Coming soon: a ban on human life, since we're all going to die one day?

Dear Cabby: Our Advice Column

Dear Cabby:  Folks are  now calling me the inevitable  Republican nominee , but I still  can't shake off  being  labelled a flip-flopper. What can I do to seem more decisive? -- Mitt R. 

Dear Mitt:  Dat's a no-brainer. Just  make yer goddam mind up and stick to it.  Do you want da dog kennel inside or out on da roof with your wife?  Is she still OK up there?  Beats me how she's stuck with you for 35 years. Remind me: Did ya want to go to  Bloomingdales, or was it John Allan's for  a trim and a root touch-up?  Well,  which is it?  Sheesh! Make yer goddam  mind up, Mitt. I gotta take a right turn here  or fuggeddaboudit and go straight down 5th for another three blocks. Make a goddam decision, buddy. Tick tock, flip flop. Okay here we are at John Allan's. You givin' me da fare plus a buck? You call that a tip? Make yer mind up, Mitt, I can't stop here all day. Two bucks?  Three bucks! Now that's decisive thinking. Don't forget the wife and the dog. See ya. --Cabby.

Land of the Free?

The Marine Corps has notified a sergeant who has been openly critical of President Barack Obama that he is violating Pentagon policy barring troops from political activities and that he faces dismissal. Read more
[Thanks BJS]


Occupiers dump human waste in NY banks

 OWS  protesters have been caught on video dumping  human waste in NYC banks. The Laughing Conservative is trying  to establish whether "human waste" refers to the protesters, their  cargo, or both. More here

Barack Obama's Diary

 Dear Diary: A difficult day, having to  show boundless  enthusiasm for a million solar panels  at a huge facility near Boulder City. Then back to Vegas and  for the flight to New Mexico where I had to unleash still more enthusiasm during a tour of an oil and gas facility. (I wish Jarrett and Axelrod were here to experience what living out their "optics"  on energy supplies actually entails (nobody knows the trouble I've seen)  Then I was flown to Oklahoma City arriving  in the dark around 10pm. I am writing this  in my jammies,  in the bedroom of  Air Force One, the same place where I tucked up Dave the British PM a couple of days ago after he started nodding with fatigue on the way Ohio.  
    I'm spending the night at the airport  here with  a Secret Service team on board and guarding the perimeter. My sleeping on board means I can be up bright and early for a 9.50 am visit Cushing, to promote the southern leg of the XL pipeline (the part  that I can  very publicly promote without freaking out the treehuggers.)   I must  now make a quick  goodnight call to Michelle (none  of  her frozen peas in the plane's kitchen galley...  I'm free! Free at last! Well, at least until  Marvin my faithful body guy wakes me in the morning.  Now to close the trusty laptop, say a  bedtime prayer to myself,  and so to bed. 

'Drop Starbucks' campaign launched

The National Assocation for Marriage  is bitter about  Starbucks'  open support for gay marriage.  In response,  NOM has launched a worldwide "Drop Starbucks" campaign. More here.

Is Mitt the conservative alternative to Mitt?

Rush Limbaugh was very  impressed with Mitt Romney's victory speech last night. Read why

44% of Marines give Obama a negative rating

A poll says 44% of Marines disapprove of the way  President Obama is handling his job. Details here

The weirdness of our generation

 The incomparable Mark Steyn: "Let's take it as read that Rick Santorum is weird. After all, he believes in the sanctity of life, the primacy of the family, the traditional socio-religious understanding of a transcendent purpose to human existence. Once upon a time, back in the mists of, ooh, the mid–20th century, all these things were, if not entirely universal, sufficiently mainstream as to be barely worthy of discussion. Now they're not. Isn't the fact that conventional morality is now "weird" itself deeply weird? The instant weirdification of ideas taken for granted for millennia is surely mega-weird — unless you think that our generation is possessed of wisdom unique to human history. In which case, why are we broke?" Read it all

The route to energy independence


Cartoon: Gary McCoy


Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: Today was a good day in some ways, not in others. Under the 'Good' heading came Joe Biden's declaration that my  decision to attack Bin Laden was the most audacious  in 500 years. Entirely correct of course. What were Eisenhower, Nelson and Napoleon's achievements next to mine?  They don't begin to compare with my cool genius, even if I say so myself, and I do.
The bad part of today came when St Patrick's Day returned like the end of a monster movie. Just  when you think the creature is finally  destroyed it roars back to life.  Enda Kenney, Ireland's Toys-each,  or whatever they call the dude, was visiting and St Patrick's Day had a re-run at a Capitol luncheon which I attended with him.   I re-assured him [as I do leaders of all  sniveling, insignificant little  countries, that Ireland "punches  above its weight" and is "one of our most valued allies." I finally have admitted to myself  that  Guinness is a gross concoction and the taste hasn't grown on me, so I  asked the Secret Service to track down an alternative that they can quietly slip me should the need arise. They came up with a  Guinness glass filled with a Diet Cola topped with  a squirt of instant cream, which looks surprisingly convincing. 
I'm writing this entry much earlier than usual.  Early Wednesday I  will board Air Force One with my  usual effortless trot up the stairs, for the cameras, on a two-day trip via Vegas, to Boulder, Roswell and Oklahoma  to be photographed on oilfields and next  to solar panels. Jarrett and Axelrod think we need to show  Joe Sixpack that we're doing something about  sky-high gas prices. Not that we can do anything  at this stage: but, as they keep reminding me, it's all about the optics. 

Joe sets a record

"Joe, you're the most audacious 
ass-kisser in 500 years"

But wait...there's more!


Media censor M*l**'s spring break

The White House has admitted asking media to scrub all internet references to M*l** Ob*m* going on a spring break  somewhere in M*x*c* with some friends and  25 -- yes, 25 -- Secret Service agents. When Mr and Mrs Laughing Conservative's very responsible daughters were the same age,  there was no way in heck they  would  have let them  go to Mexico with a group of friends (never mind loading taxpayers with the cost of 25 SS agents.) More disturbing still is that the media -- even the British-based Telegraph, and The Australian, complied  with the request and  their  links to the story are now broken. More here

Obama re-opens door to Al Qaeda

After Obama's premature withdrawal from Iraq, al Qaeda  is on the ascendant  there once more and that may even require renewed US involvement. More here 

Biden beclowns self over Bin Laden

Joe the Clown has excelled himself, proclaiming the raid on Bin Laden  the "most audacious in 500 years."  More here.

Murder-charge soldier linked to missing money

Uh-oh. It seems that  Staff Sergeant Bales, the former stockbroker accused of mass murder of Afghan villagers , is now  being accused by  an elderly Ohio couple  of losing their life savings before he signed up for the military.  More here


Firm sells solar panels to itself

First Solar, a heavy-subsidized solar  company has received a government-backed loan guarantee to sell solar panels to itself. Tim Carney follows  the trail of  a bizarre transaction as it wends its way through Obama's green fantasy land. Details here.
[Thanks BJS]

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

"Taste this, Bloomberg"
The Academy of Dung Beetles'  Award is being rolled towards New York Mayor Bloomberg's  Administration for forbidding homeless shelters from  accepting donated food because it may be too salty.  More.

Dancin' in the Pain

Enough already

[Courtesy of The People's Cube]

Obama burns 25,000 gallons of jet fuel to defend high gas prices

President Barack Obama is about to launch a 5,000-mile, four-state, two-day trip on Air Force One to contain the political damage caused by high gas prices. His 5,000-mile trip will consume roughly 25,000 gallons of jet fuel, according to Boeing. Read More

Let them eat bullets

Has Vogue been flirting with fascist chic? PJ Tatler explains.

Cartoon: Brian Fairrington

[Cagle  Cartoons]


Globull warming breeds super sharks?

Australia's Tim Blair has been circling the warmists and he has detected the strong scent of  Bullsh*t.  Watch the video then read the facts.

Joke of the Day

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India. 
The HR Manager said: "Mujibar, You have passed all the tests, except one. 
Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job." 
Mujibar said: "I am ready."
The manager said: "Make a sentence using the words 
Yellow, Pink, and Green." 
Mujibar replied: "The telephone goes green, green, 
And I pink it up, and say:
Yellow, this is Mujibar." 
Mujibar now works at a call center. 
No doubt you have spoken to to him.

Dumb-ass diplomacy

Cartoon: Eric Allie


OWS plague returns to Manhattan

Warm weather has already brought a renewal of the stinkbug plague in our part of Virginia. And so it goes in NY's Zuccotti Park where odiferous  Occupy Wall Street  protesters mounted an attempted comeback yesterday. Happily they were immediately arrested.


The jig's up

[Thanks  to  MJA and  I Own the World]

Four Hard Truths About Health Care

The president promised again and again during the health care debate that "if you like your health care plan, you can keep your health care plan." It turns out -- for a lot of people -- that's just not true.  Politico has this among Four Hard Truths about Healthcare.

Barack Obama's Diary

St Patrick's Day has finally come to and end, thank goodness. Jarrett and Carney set up a photo-op at The Dubliner, an Irish bar near the Capitol. I had to order a Guinness, and look as though I was enjoying it. I planned to distract people's attention a couple of times and "accidentally" spill some, but one Secret Service guy had been assigned to do nothing else but watch my glass to make sure no-one tried to poison me (which  in the circumstances would have been a kindness) So I had to keep smiling and  gradually sip my way through a whole pint  of stout, which  tasted  just the same as it did on my visit to Ireland, like an  infusion of burned rope and roasted leprechaun beard.
Worse was to come.  Michelle had ordered a green-themed meal from the White House kitchen, with salad of green lettuce  and avocado and -- of course --  a main course of her daggone  home-grown frozen peas.  All I could think of  as I ate my peas was  that delicious bison Wellington at the state dinner a couple of nights ago. Sic transit gloria mundi. [translation: Gloria threw up on the Metro. Now that's funny, if I say so myself. And I do.] The real bad news came when Hillary reminded me  that the Irish Prime Minister Enda Kenny will be visiting on Tuesday and we'll have to go through the whole  shamrock routine again. 
After dinner M. and I  caught up with last night's Tonight Show  on the DVR. Leno was wisecracking about  how today would be my third St Patrick's Day in the Oval office without creating a single "green" job. Hardy, har, har.  That guy's about as funny as Sandra Fluke with PMS. Scary woman. Which reminds me, M. is saying it's late.  So I must shut the trusty  laptop, say my nightly prayer to myself. And so to bed.

Gobbledegook of the Week

President Obama will be in Oklahoma Thursday to  “discuss his Administration’s commitment to improving and supporting the infrastructure that helps us leverage our domestic resources,” the White House said.
Well thank goodness they explained that so clearly, or else we might never have known what Obama was doing there.

Question of the Day

Oprah's popularity has been in massive decline since 1998. What, asks Glenn Reynolds at Instapundit, could possibly have happened that year to trigger her fall?

So appropriate: Cee Lo sings 'F*** You' at Obama fundraiser

The President has  now reached a level  of class so exceedingly refined that  even his  breathtaking genius will have trouble exceeding it. At a fundraiser for Obama  the other night, singer Cee Lo Green  opened with " F*** you."  Indeed.                                         

The war on sanity

I'm sure I am not alone in having  a bad feeling about  the way Staff Sergeant Robert Bales is being treated. Hypothetically,  if a man  were to crack after four  consecutive deployments, who should be to "blame?"  Are  we pushing troops past the brink of sanity and then holding them accountable for it?  Imagine  having to live in mortal danger when your  commander-in-chief  has already surrendered (by planning to exit by 2014.)


Cartoon: Bill Day

[Bill Day, Cagle Cartoons]

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary:  I  called Hamid in Afghanistan today to ingratiate myself  congratulate him and his wife on the birth  of their new baby.  Instead of a thank-you for my thoughtfulness, I got an earful  from Hamid about our military not keeping him fully informed about the inquiry into the   village shooting incident. I asked him if he had been correctly reported  as saying that  wanted  NATO troops withdrawn immediately from Afghan villages. He said: "Yes I did." Awkwaaard... Dude will be  here for a NATO conference in May. Maybe I should fly him to a basketball game in Airforce One. Like I did with  David Cameron. Worked wonders with Cameron who mostly travels  by commercial airline, poor guy... Cameron showered me praise at the state dinner  for  my " beautiful words".  My words often are beautiful,  if  I can  I say that myself. And I can.  

Where was I? Oh yes, how to  impress Hamid Karzai.  If a flight in  Airforce One can reduce a British Prime minister  to a quivering  ass-kissing  bowl of Jello what might it do to a President who is normally chauffered in a goat cart?   [Note to self: ask Valerie Jarrett to set up  an AF1 flight somewhere.] As for Hamid, long story short, he wants us out of Afghanistan quicker than I  remember not to say "Jeremiah Wright."  Scary situation. Talking of scary,  after the  wonderful food at the State Dinner, the duchess of peas has got me back on a diet of rabbit food.  She's calling me  to bed now. Better shut the laptop, say a quick prayer to myself. And so to bed.

Obama's Afghan strategy collapsing?

Obama's Afghan strategy may be on the verge of collapse.  Afghan  President Karzai  is directly challenging the US  military's version of the killing of 16 civilians,  AP reports. Karzai also wants all NATO troops withdrawn from Afghan villages.

The Golden Law: Simpler is better

Simpler is better when it comes to the  laws  that  govern a  complex society, argues John Stossel. Amen to that. More here

The State of the Dinner

The guest list for the State Dinner for David Cameron was heavily packed with gays, notes NewsBusters, and wonders if there was a hidden agenda on the menu. More here

No gold for YOU

[John Cole: The Scranton Times Tribune]


Post and Times attack Obama Afghanistan failure

Well, now things have gotten really bad. When both the New York Times and the Washington Post are highlighting the failure of your Afghanistan policy, then your Afghanistan policy is a failure, says Keith Koffler at White House Dossier

Marines had to disarm to hear Panetta

When Defence Secretary Leon Panetta addressed Marines in  Afghanistan yesterday, they had to disarm and leave their weapons outside the tent. When a Defence Secretary is not considered safe among his own Marines, we have  surely reached the point where  rapid withdrawal is the only option.


Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: A great Wednesday. I love  it when a plan comes together! David Cameron was   every bit as psyched by Air Force One  as  Valerie Jarrett had hoped and who wouldn't be  psyched when Britain is so broke  that they usually fly Cameron around in a WW1 biplane.  Dennis Kucinich  joined us at the NCAA game in Ohio. Man, can that dude talk!  That blocked Cameron from asking awkward questions about the timetable for  allied withdrawal from Afghanistan. We had a State Dinner tonight. Yum!   Lots of stuff Michelle  normally forbids me: Bison Wellington,  crisped halibut,  and a steamed lemon pudding. We kept the wine list  secret from the media...we know what mischief they would make with  $300 bottles of wine. Leno and Letterman would be wise-cracking about them  being cheaper than  a gallon of gas in LA. That's funny!  Though I say so myself, and I do.  Which reminds me: I gotta get Steven Chu to figure out a way to cut  gas prices before November or the bitter clingers will kick my skinny ass out of the Oval Office -- scary thought. And talking of scary,  Michelle is calling out to me, so I must close the laptop. And so to bed.

The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles' Award is being rolled towards the  Lake County Florida Democrats who think it appropriate to deface  the Stars and Stripes  with  an image of  Barack Obama and fly it outside their headquarters.

Farage takes on the Eurocrats

Gotta love Nigel Farage who makes life hell for the members of the European parliament.  Here he skewers them again on the Greek default.

An Inconvenient Photo

The Weekly Standard  spied this alarming price marquee within walking distance of the White House:  How long before  it reaches the electorally inconvenient price of $6? 
[Thanks: BJS ]

Dear Cabby: Our Advice Columnist

Dear Cabby: I am the inevitable Republican  nominee, but those daggone  cheesy-grits-and-catfish folk have  disrupted my plans and chose Santorum and Newt  ahead of me. What should I do? --Mitt R.

Dear Mitt R:  Back in New York already? Jeez,  are you on your way to John Allan's again to have your roots touched up? I guess you want to put your  poor dog on  da roof of da cab like you did last time.  What was that you just said? Strange things have been happening to you since you arrived in New York -- you're developing a taste for bagels and lox?  Fuggedaboudit, Mitt, no-one believes that kind of  kiss-ass crap anymore. Just  be yourself.  You gotta problem widdat?. Here's John Allan's and don't forget  your dog. --Cabby.

Why does Obama get a pass when Bush would have been vilified?

It's an interesting conundrum: why does Obama get away with acts for which  George Bush would have been vilified? More here.
[Thanks: BJS] 


The Sharpton Tapes: evidence of hate

The matchless Michelle Malkin rips the Rev. Al's hate tapes and MSNBC which 'enables him'. See here.

Tired of Recession? Now meet her uglier sister

Meet Financial Repression, Recession's uglier sister. Find out more about her here
[Thanks: BJS] 

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary:  It was a heck of a Monday, with the daggone military putting me in the cross-hairs again. I'm generally proud  of the military, except when I'm not.  
Meanwhile the bitter clingers  in fly-over country are getting mad at the price of gas, yellin' as loud as  Michelle  does when I open  a pint of Academia Nut  Ice Cream [that's funny, though I say so myself, and I do.]  
The British Prime Minister, David Cameron, is here Tuesday. He'll have questions about  Iran and  continuing British support for us in Afghanistan. Awkw-a-a-rd. Valerie Jarrett came up with a brilliant solution:  psych him with a trip  aboard Air Force One to  a basketball game in Ohio [ I'll bet the poor  broke Brit  normally flies in an ultralight powered by a two-stroke lawnmower engine.] Once  we land in Dayton I'll take him  in the Beast  straight to a college basketball game where he'll be too busy to talk, mugging for the cameras, pretending  to enjoy  a game he knows sh*t about. 
Back In DC,  I'll unleash Hillary on him on Wednesday, fill him and his wife Samantha with Michelle's frozen summer peas at  a State Dinner  after which  they'll have to leave  for their suite  in a hurry.  Again no time for awkward questions. Slam dunk. Valerie is a genius, scarily so. Talking of scary, the Duchess of Peas is calling. Time to close the laptop, say a quick bedtime prayer to myself thanking me for my genius. And so to bed.

Headline of the Week

From Investor's Business Daily: "Liberals Less Tolerant Online Than Normal People"  Hardly news to conservatives but notable for implying that liberals are not "normal  people" Source here.

Cartoon: Gary McCoy

[Cagle Cartoons]

Obama traps self

Obama  figured that 2014 was the earliest  he could  decently pull out of Afghanistan, but it now  appears that he has set a trap for himself  and that 2014 is a lot later than he would prefer now.  Background here 

Obama "proud generally" of US troops

Well, this is reassuring for our troops. The Commander-in-Chief  says he is "generally" proud of  them.  Guys, doesn't that make you feel good?  More here.  


Why Holder is a locust

Here's why Eric Holder is  a locust

[Courtesy: Sad Hill News]

Gas prices burn Obama

Disapproval of President Obama’s handling of the economy is heading higher — along with gasoline prices — as record numbers of Americans now give the president “strongly” negative reviews on the 2012 presidential campaign’s most important issue, according to a new Washington Post-ABC News poll. Full details here.

Cartoon: Rick McKee

Cartoon: Gary McCoy

[Cagle Cartoons]


All together now...

"Y'all, biscuits with gravy, cheesy grits and 
iced kittens, these are the things that are favored 
by Mittens"

Cartoon: Frederick Deligne

[Nice-Matin, France]