Joke of the Day...

"Jeb Bush gave a speech the other day. He accidentally said that ISIS has 200,000 men instead of 20,000, and then he mispronounced the name of the terrorist group Boko Haram. So, if history has taught us anything, Jeb is well on his way to winning the White House." –Jimmy Fallon,

Bullets fly in Moscow

 Boris Nemtsov, a Russian opposition politician and former deputy prime minister who was an outspoken critic of President Vladimir Putin, was shot dead  on a bridge meters from the Kremlin in central Moscow on Friday. Laughing Conservative feels somewhat freaked out  by this, having walked the same bridge many times during a stay in Moscow at the Kempinski Hotel which overlooks the Kremlin from the other side of the Moskva River.  Don't be too quick to blame Putin: Numerous victims were being assassinated even then, mostly business rivals vying for power and territory, not unlike the Mexican drug cartels of today. 


Noonan jabs at Jeb

A common refrain these days is that Jeb Bush is locking up big donors and freezing out potential rivals so efficiently that he's cruising toward a sure GOP nomination. No way, writes Peggy Noonan in the Wall Street Journal. So far, she doesn't like what she sees, describing his public forays as "tentative and joyless." He's had one big line to date—"I am my own man"—but Noonan wonders whether that's something a presidential candidate should ever have to utter. Bush is lacking "a fierce sense of engagement, a passionate desire to lead America out of the morass, a fiery—or Churchillian—certainty that he is the man for the moment," she writes."In its place we see a softer, wanner I’m smart, accomplished, know policy, and it’s my turn." Republicans want and will demand more, Noonan predicts. If the Democrats want to anoint a candidate in tumultuous times without any real debate, fine, nobody expects anything different. But as for Bush, "no one should bow to his inevitability," she writes. "He doesn’t have a better chance with Republican voters than some other possible candidates, and may have less." Click to read the full column. [BJS]


Barack Obama's Diary: My cunning pot plan comes together

Dear Diary: Mirabile dictu!  Wondrous news! The good folk of DC have opted to legalize pot and dealers are already hovering around schools, selling  baggies of the seductive substance. My supplies of ganja in a secret compartment of the Resolute Desk are perilously low and I need a cunning plan to replenish them. I tried using a drone  a couple days ago, but it crashed on a White House lawn. I could ask a discreet aide like Marv Nicholson to drive me in his car and -- while the Secret Service are sleeping off their usual nefarious activities -- I could don a beard from Michelle, leap from Marv's car,  seize a dealer's baggies, leave him a couple hundred bucks and order Marv to put the pedal to the metal of his Civic and high-tail it back to the White House before my minders even notice I've been missing. Brilliant

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]


Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]


Barack Obama's Diary: Can a 3rd term be within my reach?

Dear Diary: I am overwhelmed with excitement! An Italian surgeon  says that a full body transplant will be possible in the not-too-distant future. With a new head and the same brain, I will be able to claim a third term in the White House, install ISIL  in the Pentagon and complete the total transformation of America,  give Iran enough nukes to turn Israel into a sheet of glass,  kick Vlad Putin in the gonads and install myself as Emperor of the world. O happy Day!

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[Augusta Chronicle]

Socialist medicine in action

Families of patients being cared for at a brand new English flagship hospital are outraged after their loved ones were given 'Downton Abbey-style' handbells to attract attention.
Those given the metal bells at Southmead Hospital in Bristol include a frail 84-year-old who couldn't pick one up. The state-of-the-art unit opened in May, but 23 clinical rooms - used when there is a lack of other beds - are still without a proper electronic patient alert system.


Cartoon: A.F. Branco

Joke of the Day...

A large group of Islamic State terrorists in Iraq are moving down a road when they hear a voice from behind a sand dune: “One U.S. Marine is better than 10 ISIS fighters.”
The terrorist commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the dune. A brief gun battle breaks out. Then … silence.
The same voice again calls out: “One U.S. Marine is better than 100 ISIS losers!”
Furious, the commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune. After a few minutes of intense gunfire … more silence. The voice calls out again: “One U.S. Marine is better than 1,000 ISIS cowards!”
The now-enraged commander orders 1,000 of his best warriors over the dune, when a terrible battle is then fought. He hears small arms fire, machine-guns, grenades, rockets … and then silence.
Finally, one badly wounded Islamic State terrorist crawls back over the dune, leaving a trail of gore behind him, and with his dying breath, warns his commander:
“Don’t send any more men! It’s a trap! There are two of them!“

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

[The Columbus Dispatch]

Obama blind to Islamic terror


Obama 'icy over ISIS war on little girls'

Mark Levin opened his Thursday show reminding listeners of the rape that little girls are enduring all over the Middle East at the hands of "the Islamo-Nazi subhuman barbarians known as ISIS".
Levin points out that Obama knows what’s going on, it's something he even helped unleash by his withdrawal from Iraq, and he does little to nothing about it. In fact, Levin says  Bam has become a patsy, almost an apologist for it. Levin says this isn’t just a war on Western Civilization, but a war on little girls, and Obama " can't even react like a normal human being."
[Read more]

Barack Obama's Diary: Snow joke being back in DC

Dear Diary: Duty called me back to the nation's helm  after a glorious few days playing golf at Larry Ellison's private links at Palm Springs. It was snowing as I disembarked from Air Force One at Joint Base Andrews, so I was not able to take my accustomed ride on the Marine One chopper to the White House, but  I had to ride in The Beast and join the common herd driving into the city protected only by a motorcade of  black  Secret  Service Suburbans.

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]


Cartoon: Cameron Cardow

[Cagle Cartoons]

Cartoon: Rick McKee

[The Augusta Chronicle]

Michelle's DC blooper

 First  Lady Michelle Obama reminded attendees of a naturalization ceremony Wednesday  that the Founding Fathers weren't born in America . The ceremony for 50 new U.S.  citizens was held at the National Archives in Washington, D.C
She said during her  speech, referring to the Declaration of Independence, "It's amazing that just a  few feet from here where I'm standing are the signatures of the 56 Founders who  put their names on a Declaration that changed the course of history, and like  the 50 of you, none of them were born American - they became  American."
'Did she  actually mean that those who signed the Declaration of Independence and  participated in the drafting of the Constitution were not born in America?  Benjamin Franklin was born in Pennsylvania and Thomas Jefferson, George  Washington, and James Madison were born in  Virginia. John Adams was born  in Massachusetts. Only eight of the 56 were not born in America . Surely she knew  this. After all, she is a Harvard graduate. [TG]

Has the Administration joined the enemy?

'The Obama Administration consistently genuflects at the altar of political correctness and broadcasts the diplomatic desire not to offend, seemingly more concerned with protecting the sensitivities of Islamists than the lives of their victims. This administration's egotism is only exceeded by their inability to grasp the extent of their own ignorance.
In contrast, U.S. Marines did not struggle to understand or combat the fanaticism and brutality of the Imperial Japanese military during World War Two, dampening the enthusiasm for such savage behavior with overwhelming firepower.
In the apparent attempts to dismiss Islamic extremism, Obama frequently engages in equivocation and moral equivalency as he did recently at the National Prayer Breakfast comparing the actions of the Islamic State to those of the Christian crusaders a thousand years ago.
It is the systematic suppression of facts or the altering of history that advances and sustains the self-defeating policies of the Obama Administration. It is as if the government has enlisted in the ranks of our enemies and is bearing arms against us...."--Lawrence Sellin, Ph.D. is a retired colonel with 29 years of service in the US Army Reserve and a veteran of Afghanistan and Iraq.  Read it all


Williams, Stewart switching jobs?

As Jon Stewart, the host of Comedy Central's The Daily Show, announces he will step down later this year, thousands of people on social media have offered helpful suggestions to revitalize his show.
News anchor Brian Williams is off the air for six months for making things up. Jon Stewart, a funny man with a serious side, is looking for a change after 16 years at the helm of The Daily Show. These are two entirely separate stories, but on social media they blended quickly into one theme with many proposing an elegant solution to both problems - just switch jobs.
Both men made the news around the same time. On Monday, NBC announced that Williams would be suspended for six months without pay. The long-serving news anchor had admitted to "misremembering" his involvement in the downing of a US helicopter during the Iraq War in 2003, and giving a misleading account of coming under fire. The same day, comedian and Daily Show host Jon Stewart surprised his studio audience, saying he was moving off the satirical show.
"When God closes a door he opens a window, right?" said one Twitter user, echoing many others. "maybe Brian Williams should take over from Jon Stewart on The Daily Show?"
The jokes of social media are, in fact, now leading to serious debate. New York Times reporter Lydia Polgreen and others see some validity to the swap. "The funny thing about the joke that Jon Stewart is replacing Brian Williams, is that it's actually a good idea," she said.  [Source]   [BJS]


Lyin' Brian suspended for 6 months

NBC has suspended Nightly News anchor Brian Williams for six months without pay, for telling a false story about being in a helicopter that was struck by a rocket-propelled grenade while  he was covering the war in Iraq, the network said Tuesday.  Weekend anchor Lester Holt will substitute. The LC sees the dexterous hand of  Deborah Turness maneuvering Lyin' Williams into quitting while he's  out of  the public eye. And NBC can  experiment with other anchors at weekends.


The Dung Beetle Award goes to...

The Academy of Dung Beetles has rolled an award to Nathan Hale High School in West Allis, Wisc., which asked students, to complete an assignment about different views on the political spectrum.  The assignment listed a series of quotes and required students to identify which party affiliation best represented each statement. The first quote read, "We should not help the poor, it’s a waste of money."
One mother, who asked only to be identified as "Heather" to protect her son's privacy, said he chose option "E" for "Fascist" because he "didn't know what else could be the answer."
When the assignment was returned, the answer was marked as incorrect and the teacher wrote in option "D" for "Conservative/Republican" instead, his mother told FoxNews.com. [ECS]


Lyin' Brian quits tryin'

Brian Williams has taken a  'leave of absence' for an indefinite period. No doubt to see if  the storm  that surrounds him will blow over. The LC [who has been correct in his predictions so far] thinks  that is a vain hope and does  not expect to see Williams return  after Lester Holt's weekend stint.  This is the perfect opportunity for the  lovely and formidably-talented Deborah Turness (above) to start putting her unique stamp on NBC News, without Lyin' Brian's massive ego barring the way.  The  LC  once knew a remarkably talented PR executive who defined PR as the art of making friends before you need them: A lesson the pompous Williams clearly never learned. The LC lives in hope that the partially French-educated Turness will eventually do something about the grotesquely bad French pronunciations on NBC news

Barack Obama's Diary: Ain't that the truth

Dear Diary: I am feeling a little conflicted over the plight of Brian Williams. I have always been able to depend on NBC for  softball interviews in exchange for exclusivity.  So, Williams  has embellished the truth a little. Even I, arguably the bravest, brightest individual in this nation, have embellished the truth on occasion..."what difference at this stage does it make?"  to paraphrase a colleague who also likes to shepherd the facts to make them follow her preferred narrative.

..  who doesn't?


The Greatest Lyin' Brian Mystery

The Greatest Mystery of the whole  Brian Williams debacle is the way  NBC has left Williams to twist in the wind, with no overt corporate support. The LC thinks  that --without checks and balances-- severe misjudgments  are inevitable when an anchor is serving as managing editor and occasional reporter on  his own show. Leave editing to editors and reporting to reporters. At the most allow the anchor to "interview"  contributors on air.

Cartoon: Cameron Cardow

Atheists lose bid to remove God from Pledge

A New Jersey high school senior has won her case to keep "one nation under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance, defeating atheist attacks that sought to strike the language from the pledge.
Samantha Jones, a senior at Highland Regional High School, declared victory Friday in protecting what she has described as the right of her fellow students to continue reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in its entirety. After hearing the teen and her family's case, a state judge dismissed the latest efforts by the American Humanist Association to remove "under God" from the Pledge. [ECS]

Brokaw 'wants Lyin' Williams fired'

You know you're in trouble when Tom Brokaw wants your head on a platter, says Page Six of the NY  Daily News      [More]


Lyin' Brian calls in Dr 'Soupie' Snyderman -- time to quit, folks

Lyin' Brian brought Dr Nancy 'Soupie' Snyderman onto  NBC Nightly News  Tuesday to expound on the need for measles vaccination. Readers will remember Snyderman risking countless lives by breaking  her 21-day Ebola quarantine in pursuit of some soup. The time has come for all sane people to abandon these NBC morons and watch a credible news show.

Cartoon: Adam Zyglis

[The Buffalo News]

Cartoon: Nate Beeler

It's getting harder to figure out why NBC  continues to support credibility-crippled anchor Brian Williams, as ever more buzzards  circle above him. Deborah Turness, the highly-competent news chief  imported from Britain, has no reason to handicap herself with Williams as she tries to restore the network's  news pre-eminence. One suspects she will not and that Williams will enter a lavish
[The Columbus Dispatch]
retirement with his millions when he can tell tall liberal tales to anyone who will listen, while Lester Holt will host the news five nights a week instead of two.

Lyin' Brian again lyin' about lyin'?

NBC's Brian Wiilliams may have dug himself even deeper into a hole with his on-air apology for misleading viewers about coming under fire in Iraq. The apology itself was allegedly also misleading. Media watchers  are now asking if the Williams 'brand' can survive this second fustercluck, with Lester Holt  available as a credible and immediate replacement. Don't  lavish too much sympathy on Williams, who is reputedly worth some $40 million.


'Trusted' Brian Williams admits to lying

Regular viewers of NBC Nightly News  may have wondered why the network  has been  running regular ads promoting Brian Williams as  'trusted'. Tonight came the apparent motive, as Williams confessed on air that a long-standing claim he has made about being under enemy attack in Iraq, is untrue.  [More]
A commenter on  Michelle Malkin's excellent,  truly trusted blog says  bloggers should henceforth  name him Lyin' Brian.

Cartoon: Tom Janssen

[Cagle Cartoons: From The Netherlands]

Rev. Al gets by with a little help from his friends

Hey, Bam: maybe it's those pesky Presbyterians again

BH, our man in Sydney, Australia, follows the works of  Tim Blair, columnist of Sydney's The Telegraph, who wrote today:
"Following the burning alive of a captured Jordanian pilot, President Barack Obama seems not to know what ideology drives Islamic State:
“It’s just one more indication of the viciousness and barbarity of this organization. And it, I think, will redouble the vigilance and determination on the part of a global coalition to make sure that they are degraded and ultimately defeated,” Obama said Tuesday.
“It also just indicates the degree to which whatever ideology they’re operating off of, it’s bankrupt.”
Readers with a talent for forensic investigation are invited to assist the president in comments. My bet, as usual, is some form of Presbyterianism.
UPDATE. Australian Islamic State idiot Yusuf Yusuf watched the incineration on a big screen in Syria:
The former university business student wrote on his Facebook page: “Movie night in the heart of the Khalifa … Burn kafir Burn”.
Might be a couple of clues there.

Barack Obama's Diary: Pants on fire

Dear Diary: Awkwaard... I had Jordan's King Abdulla visiting just as news was coming through that one of his  airforce pilots had been burned alive. I tried to lighten the situation with a little humor:  "When  ISIS offers you a prisoner swap  next time, say: "Liar, Liar Pants on fire!" I chortled happily, but he seemed a little slow on the uptake. Odd people, these Jordanians. I asked an aide to rustle up a pair of autographed Air Jordans for him to take as a memento.


Hey Bam, when are you going to grow a pair?

America wants to know, when is President Obama going to get angry? When is he going to slam his fist on the desk, demand vengeance, put aside his incessant campaigning and call out the Islamic radicals of ISIS as the animals they are?" asked Liz Peek on Fox News
"Interrupted in the course of yet another photo-op on the benefits of ObamaCare, the president looked almost irritated to be asked his reaction to the murder of the Jordanian pilot, shown on an Internet video being burned alive by ISIS.
"He talked calmly about the “bankrupt ideology” of this organization,” like he was addressing unhealthy menu choices at a fast food outlet. Where’s his passion?"

Your tax dollars at work...

Two Republican members of Congress are calling out the Department of State for allegedly trying to influence the upcoming election in Israel using American tax dollars.
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) and Rep. Lee Zeldin (R-New York) sent a letter informing the State Department about information they have received about behind-the-scenes partisan political activity by President Barack Obama, who they believe has "launched a political campaign" to defeat the Likud Party's Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. In the letter sent to Secretary of State John Kerry last week, the two U.S. lawmakers also bring up allegations that American tax dollars are being used to pay for the campaign. [ECS]

The Dung Beetle Award goes to ...

The Academy of Dung Beetles has directed its much-feared award to officials of a California school  who have established a "hijab day" when female students learn how correctly to wear the Muslim headscarf many non-Muslims regard as a symbol of oppression.  Source  [ECS]


Barack Obama's Diary: Moose is pissed off with me again

Dear Diary: Moose is still pissed off with me. Her rage at being snubbed in Saudi Arabia had not even begun to ebb when she took umbrage at my pre-superbowl interview with Today's Savannah Guthrie in the White House kitchen with a real live sous-chef chopping something green from her vegetable garden in the background. It turned out to be a dandelion---readily identifiable to the knowledgeable--- which Moose felt impugned her dignity. I think it had more to do with the undeniable physical charms of Ms. Guthrie, but there you go. Thank goodness it wasn't the even more delectable Tamron Hall who has a flawless latte complexion to further multiply her charms.

The Ant and the Grasshopper, 2015

From our  all-seeing Alaska contributor, TG, come these modernized parables:


The  ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and  laying up supplies for the winter. The  grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come  winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The  grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
 Be  responsible for yourself!

The  ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house
and  laying up supplies for the winter.
 The  grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
 Come  winter, the shivering grasshopper
calls  a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed  to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving..
 CBS,  NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper
next  to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America   is stunned by the sharp contrast.
 How  can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper
is  allowed to suffer so?
 Kermit  the Frog appears on  Oprah with the grasshopper
and  everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green ...'

Occupy  the Anthill stages  a  demonstration in front of the ant's
house  where the news stations film the SEIU group singing, We  shall overcome.
 Then  Rev Al Sharpton's assistant has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper
while  he damns the ants. The Reverend Al can not attend as he has contractual commitments to appear on his MSNBC show for which he is paid over two million dollars a year to complain that rich people do not care.
 President  Obcondemns  the ant and blames President  Bush 43, President Bush 41, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight….
 Nancy  Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview on The View  
that  the ant has gotten  rich off the back of the grasshopper,
and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
 Finally,  the EEOC drafts the  Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper  Act
retroactive  to the beginning of the  summer.
The  ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of  green  bugs and,
having  nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the  Government  Green Czar and given to the grasshopper .
 The  story ends as we see the grasshopper
and  his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's  food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just  happens to be the ant's  old house,
crumbles  around them because the grasshopper  doesn't maintain it.
 The  ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.
The  grasshopper  is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now  abandoned, is taken over  by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous  and  peaceful, neighborhood.
 The  entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of  the free world with it.

 Be  careful how you vote in  2016.