12/23/11

Ask Cabbie: Our mobile advice columnist

Dear Cabbie: My popularity is falling in spite of the fact that I'm the smartest guy in the room.  What should  I do? -- Newt G.


Dear Newt G:  "Newt " What kinda name is dat? I wouldn't  even call a cat Newt.  
"Smartest  guy in da room?" Fuggedaboutit --  everybody hates da smartest guy in da room--- just look how folks hate da putz in da White House. Dumb yourself down, buddy, and you'll be top of da polls faster dan it takes me to get from Macy's to Grand Central.  
Dat'll be  $10.50. You're welcome, buddy.  Hey, wait a second, Newt... you think dat's a goddam tip?