Dear Diary: I called Hamid in Afghanistan today to ingratiate myself congratulate him and his wife on the birth of their new baby. Instead of a thank-you for my thoughtfulness, I got an earful from Hamid about our military not keeping him fully informed about the inquiry into the village shooting incident. I asked him if he had been correctly reported as saying that wanted NATO troops withdrawn immediately from Afghan villages. He said: "Yes I did." Awkwaaard... Dude will be here for a NATO conference in May. Maybe I should fly him to a basketball game in Airforce One. Like I did with David Cameron. Worked wonders with Cameron who mostly travels by commercial airline, poor guy... Cameron showered me praise at the state dinner for my " beautiful words". My words often are beautiful, if I can I say that myself. And I can.
Where was I? Oh yes, how to impress Hamid Karzai. If a flight in Airforce One can reduce a British Prime minister to a quivering ass-kissing bowl of Jello what might it do to a President who is normally chauffered in a goat cart? [Note to self: ask Valerie Jarrett to set up an AF1 flight somewhere.] As for Hamid, long story short, he wants us out of Afghanistan quicker than I remember not to say "Jeremiah Wright." Scary situation. Talking of scary, after the wonderful food at the State Dinner, the duchess of peas has got me back on a diet of rabbit food. She's calling me to bed now. Better shut the laptop, say a quick prayer to myself. And so to bed.
Where was I? Oh yes, how to impress Hamid Karzai. If a flight in Airforce One can reduce a British Prime minister to a quivering ass-kissing bowl of Jello what might it do to a President who is normally chauffered in a goat cart? [Note to self: ask Valerie Jarrett to set up an AF1 flight somewhere.] As for Hamid, long story short, he wants us out of Afghanistan quicker than I remember not to say "Jeremiah Wright." Scary situation. Talking of scary, after the wonderful food at the State Dinner, the duchess of peas has got me back on a diet of rabbit food. She's calling me to bed now. Better shut the laptop, say a quick prayer to myself. And so to bed.
