5/31/12

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary: We had George and Laura Bush for lunch and  the unveiling of their official portraits. Awkwaard. I had blamed him  for everything from drought to the $5 trillion I added to the deficit.  George is a nice dude, but not the sharpest knife in the drawer, as I am, so he was probably just intimidated by My razor-sharp intellect: he was calm and polite when I expected heated accusations of Me  being 'all hat and no cattle.'
Unlike George, the Poles are  touchy as heck. My media guys brushed off my 'Polish deathcamp' comment as a simple misstatement. But the Poles weren't  buying it: I had a message from the Foreign Minister, then from the Prime Minister,  now even the President  is getting in on the act. Don't they realize that I can't sully My immaculate Presidency  by admitting  a mistake? Get real.
Michelle is back from her travels  and already in bed so I will now tuck her in, as is my wont. Next a prayer to my exalted self and then  I, too, will retire to the presidential Tempurpedic and the soothing  touch of Boo-boo, my blanky. Barry luv Boo-boo who keeps away nasty dreams. Um-num-num-um zzzzzz...